I agree with you wholeheartedly! Everything you said makes complete sense. I know of several PAKISTANI origin girls who were taken to Pakistan with the pretense of visiting, and once there their families pressured them into getting married.

One of my good friends even went through a terrible ordeal for a whole year. Her US passport was taken and hidden away by the family, and basically she was told she had to marry the guy they chose otherwise she wouldn't go back to America. And by the way, this girl was engaged to a guy in the US when her family took her to Pakistan under the pretense of shopping for the wedding.

If that can happen to girls who are Pakistani, I shudder to think how a non-Pakistani would cope. Hibba needs to visit, along with someone close to her IN ADDITION to a good, sincere American friend of Pakistani origin who knows the ins and outs of that country.

By the way, isn't it odd that his parents and family are so ecstatic that their son is marrying a complete stranger who they've never met? It doesn't fit the cultural norms of Pakistan where people are against their children's choices based on love EVEN when the perspective girl/guy is of the same culture and upbringing.

Sorry for sounding negative, but it doesn't hurt to be practical and prepared. Its entirely possible that the whole family is so happy and accepting of Hibba because they're expecting once their son is an American, he's going to bring them to the US too. They might be seeing her as their ticket out of Pakistan. Him (and them) not mentioning this topic at all could be a calculated move to make Hibba think that's not what they're after.

Quote Originally Posted by Paheli00 View Post
I think your situation is completely different than these girls. You're Pakistani. You yourself admitted that you know the Pakistani culture very well b/c of your parents. And I imagine your parents were able to "check up" on the guy's family before the marriage to find out basic info.

These girls are not Pakistani, they don't have their families doing any type of investigation to see if the guy's are lying about anything, the girl don't know the culture/language etc. Yet travelling to Pakistan (I assume alone, without their parents) and meeting/marrying a man they have NEVER met before in person is not something to take lightly. And God forbid their physical safety becomes an issue once they're in PK.....who's going to be there to help them?

Heck even with families involved, desi girls get pressured into agreeing to things that they're not comfortable with. So IN CASE the men these 2 are chatting with end up being jerks (or their families aren't one of the "nice" ones), I'd hate to imagine what situation they could be stuck in once they're in Pakistan by themselves.