I can understand where all of you guys are coming from and the thought of my husband falling in love with someone else after 13 years is pretty scary but look at the situation from the guys point of view. He didn't choose to feel that way about this other woman. Offcourse i am sure he was doing things such as talking to na-mehram on the phone while being married which offcourse all of you guys think is okay to do because a guy and a girl can be just friends. But this is the result of those things which we consider "halal" in todays society. And its too late for what he shouldn't have done, it sounds like he has made up his mind about marrying this other woman. And how come no one pointed any finger towards this other woman whoes wrecked a home? I think he did the right thing by telling her. He is way better than ba$tards who cheat on their wives and actually marry these women and think that its okay to lie to your wife about it.
Your cousin has two options, either let him have a second wife or leave him. She has to think about the kids(i dont have any so i cant tell you what else comes with that). Most importantly, she has to consider herself. Is she going to be happy with a divorce? Can she go through a lifestyle where she has to share her husband? I am sure he will help out with kids if he is making her part of the decision. Can she support her self financially and emotionally? What kind of support will she get from her family and friends? And offcourse shes gonna have to consider re-marrying, but thats later.
I think any women in this world is much better off with a divorce, than being with a man that is with another women. Also emotionally financially she should be able to support herself. Accepting another woman in her husbands life would take a lot more out of her emotionally than just letting go.
I had a friend once, who became obsessed with my husband, even tho he barely looked at her. She then announced to me and anyone else who would listen that she wants to b his 2nd wife.
When i told my husband that someone was volunteering to b his 2nd wife, he looked frightened and said, dont let her come here again.
I decided i could do without that friend in my life.
Seriously, it was rather disconcerting to say the least. It was actually a relief to cut all contact cos by that time she was ringing all the numbers she had for me threatening suicide if she didnt have my support etc.
Well, it happened a couple of years ago so im over it now, as long as i dont c her or hear from her. If my husband had anything to do with it, then i would b distraught, but i know he didnt, she lived some way away, and the only time she saw him was if their paths crossed in our house, like in the hallway or something. She used to sit in the front room and watch for him to come home from work and then start the obsessive talk. Thing is he didnt even come in to say hi to her cos in some cases he prefers segregation.
All the problems in the society are somewhat caused by women..
(ok plz dont bash me about this statement.. its my personal view based on whatever I see around me)
ok, so was this an arranged marriage?
Verily, the most beautiful in the eyes of Allah is the most righteous.
Just can't believe it!!! Wht the hell was this man thinking, i'm sorry but u dnt just fall in love just like that, forgetting abt your kids and a wife u have been married to for 14 yrs !!!!
He is an absolute disgrace, and its stories like this that make me really upset, and to never marry, just can;t trust men at all .
This is why i just dont agree with this more than 1 marriage thing!!! I'm sure allah has his justifiable reasons for allowing it, he is all knowing but franlky men being men will just abuse it !!!!
I will pray 4 ure cuzn hope her Ba**** of a husband realises wht a big mistake all of this is!!
I can understand where all of you guys are coming from and the thought of my husband falling in love with someone else after 13 years is pretty scary but look at the situation from the guys point of view. He didn't choose to feel that way about this other woman. Offcourse i am sure he was doing things such as talking to na-mehram on the phone while being married which offcourse all of you guys think is okay to do because a guy and a girl can be just friends. But this is the result of those things which we consider "halal" in todays society. And its too late for what he shouldn't have done, it sounds like he has made up his mind about marrying this other woman. And how come no one pointed any finger towards this other woman whoes wrecked a home? I think he did the right thing by telling her. He is way better than ba$tards who cheat on their wives and actually marry these women and think that its okay to lie to your wife about it.
Your cousin has two options, either let him have a second wife or leave him. She has to think about the kids(i dont have any so i cant tell you what else comes with that). Most importantly, she has to consider herself. Is she going to be happy with a divorce? Can she go through a lifestyle where she has to share her husband? I am sure he will help out with kids if he is making her part of the decision. Can she support her self financially and emotionally? What kind of support will she get from her family and friends? And offcourse shes gonna have to consider re-marrying, but thats later.
HE COULDN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE, u dont just fall in love with sum1, it happens over time, he allowed it 2 happen, and if he fell in love with her than he has to b able to control his feelings, his nafs stay away 4rm the girl,
why is it that woman have to compromise all the time, imagine wht the kids r gonna feel whn their dearet father brings home another wife, it just doesn't work!!!
I am not saying what he did was right. Offcourse he allowed it to happen, he could have stopped talking to her when he first started thinking about her in that sense. But the problem is that he didn't. It happened. No one can go back and change that. He cant change the way he feels. We as a society (Muslims) need to change our ways then maybe situations like these wont occur so often.
But the problem here is not what he has done, whats done is done. Its about thinking of a solution that works best for the wife and the kids. He will pay his dues inshAllah.
If a man hasn't discovered something he will die for, he isn't fit to live.
what country is this happening in? He can't marry two at a time in the US. Is this in PK?
its happening in uk, she left for india 2 weaks ago her work permit visa finished so she had to go thats the reason her husband had to tell his wife to give him permission to go after her and marry her.
If suppose I'm the husband and my wife is your cousin.
I'll be pretty sure....My wife will....
Just kick me and get my daughter out and
disappear from me for the rest of my life...
It's just useless to be with someone who's
heart doesn't belong together...
The thing is my cousin is so madly in love with him she did tried kicking hiom out of his life but he wouldnt go he says he loves her too, so his wife said to him if he ever mention her again she will kick him out through court.
At the moment everythings calm down its just a waiting game now.
Thankyou everyone for advising on this.
The thing is my cousin is so madly in love with him she did tried kicking hiom out of his life but he wouldnt go he says he loves her too, so his wife said to him if he ever mention her again she will kick him out through court.
At the moment everythings calm down its just a waiting game now.
Thankyou everyone for advising on this.
I have heard many stories of young widow and orphan women who are surviving harder in Pakistani society.
Sexual harassment and confronting the other hardship of life ,doing all alone for a woman ,specially in Pakistan, is not easy.
My cousin tried to help a woman by paying her rent and grocery ,but she did not accept it ....because in this case many other ppz were questioning............as she is pro......
In Pakistan women are double in number then men .............. so ,Do you think they should live alone all their life ?
Do you really need to marry a woman or orphan to help them? Can't a man take on the responsibility of a woman financially? I send $$ to Pakistan to two families each month. I have taken on the responsibility of their groceries. If I had more to offer, I'd take on more. I didn't have to marry any of those women to help them. And I don't plan on having sex with any either.
Marrying to help is such a hypocritical notion.
I have heard many stories of young widow and orphan women who are surviving harder in Pakistani society.
Sexual harassment and confronting the other hardship of life ,doing all alone for a woman ,specially in Pakistan, is not easy.
My cousin tried to help a woman by paying her rent and grocery ,but she did not accept it ....because in this case many other ppz were questioning............as she is pro......
In Pakistan women are double in number then men .............. so ,Do you think they should live alone all their life ?
I have heard many stories of young widow and orphan women who are surviving harder in Pakistani society.
Sexual harassment and confronting the other hardship of life ,doing all alone for a woman ,specially in Pakistan, is not easy.
My cousin tried to help a woman by paying her rent and grocery ,but she did not accept it ....because in this case many other ppz were questioning............as she is pro......
In Pakistan women are double in number then men .............. so ,Do you think they should live alone all their life ?
I had a friend once, who became obsessed with my husband, even tho he barely looked at her. She then announced to me and anyone else who would listen that she wants to b his 2nd wife.
When i told my husband that someone was volunteering to b his 2nd wife, he looked frightened and said, dont let her come here again.
I decided i could do without that friend in my life.
seriously!!! your cousin should demand all those years of her life back!!! if he cant give them back, he can't marry this other woman (@itch). and , doesn't matter if he has touched her or not... it is just as hurtful to a wife (of 13 years or so and mom of his kids)...that he oh so innocently and helplessly fell in love with this other woman!
he obviously was ignoring his wife's rights islamically, if he was sharing, talking, pouring his heart out to this other woman... probably wasn't doing the same sharing and caring at home... the wife was probably home taking care of the kids, while her husband never cared to speak to her like a friend or share with her his feelings, fears, concerns, intimate thoughts and general affection and respect....instead he did this with a namehram @itch and the @itch provided the much solicted support and thats what's giving him the "feeling" of so called love.
doesn't matter if he has had sex with this other woman or not.... he has already been unfair to the wife, and has been treating the two unequally which is not allowed in islam...
what an idiot in thinking he is doing everything islamically, he is not...
yaar after 14 years of marriage.. Teenage wali love per say start ho sakti hain? 
