sana020477

Hi i need you to advise on this please, my cousins husband says he loves her alot and want to have her permission to get married again and keep them both happy,his wife told him to choose between her and the other girl meaning his 14 years happly married life with 3kids or with someone he only knows for two months who he couldnt help and fell in love with her and has promised her to marry her. What do you think he should do?

Spock

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belle

He should give your cousin 14 years of her life back.

Your President

She should tell him to sit the kids down and tell them,

"Kids, daddy has fallen in love with another woman younger than mommy. She's young and pretty and makes my manhood tickle. I want to ask you if its ok if I break your mommy's heart and go marry this other woman. Its ok kids, I will spend time with you guys, just not as much."

And then he should tell his daughter (if he has one).. "I hope you find a man who loves you, has kids with you and after you've given him the world, takes off with another woman. Then you can come home crying to me."






Or better yet, maybe she should cut his man parts off.

I'd do the latter.

desigirl786

^^Good reply Yp...minus the cut his man parts off of course.

sadzzz

so... he just wants to have an affair legally?

sana020477

the husband loves his wife alot he says he wants them both and he has just fallen in love with that girl as they were working together and it had nothing to do with the wife wether she was good to him or not and he wasnt looking for someoneelse it just happened he says sex has nothing to do with it he just fell in love with her he has never touched her they talked only on the phone. The wife has told him that he is living in fantasy and she will kick him out of his life if he would go ahead with this marriage and this is so weird he wants them both to live together with him or get a separate house for her and give them equal rights as stated in islaam, he also says to his wife she would earn a good deed if she lets him go ahead with this because the other woman is a sikh and is ready to convert tro islaam.

Sheal

it seems its the influence of drama Khamooshiyaan

Numb

orton ki jealousy naa...

Sahar02

I felt really sick to my stomach when I found out that one of my dad's old friends (who had moved away so they weren't in touch as much), had had an affair with another married Pakistani woman.The other woman's husband left her when he found out and took the kids to Pakistan. My dad's friend's wife was miserable but was moving toward divorce when this guy told her that he wanted to keep both of them. His wife said no and divorced him. He married the other woman. As far as I know, they are still married.

I just think it's incredibly disgusting that adults can behave in such a lecherous, hurtful manner.

I agree with YP.

kisi ki sweetheart

A husband/wife cannot be shared. Full stop.

Spock

ouch! very ouch!

RupayHalwa

Can a boy and a girl just b friends...???

This is a very sad situation, the man knows he shouldn't even have got himself in this position and is trying to justify it by making out they r doing a good deed by making someone a muslim.

What can the wife do, really? In england a man is not allowed to have more than 1 wife, he can b jailed for it.

mizzrani

oh my god so he loves her but he loves the other one too soon he wil have enough love for the bloody rest of the world im sorry to say but what a dog . if he wants to get re married he should be able to treat both wives justly in all ways e.g. love , initmate , financially

his reason just seems pure lust , jeez a man like that should be shot .

and he cant marry an unbelieiving women and the onli reason she will become muslim is for him not for god and is the husband a practising muslim ya bus aveen naam ka

if he is really practising has a beard reads namaaz and really believes in god then u cud understand him wanting to do the good deed of converting the sikhni but if he is just naam ka he needs to be a good muslim himself first rather then trying to convert someone else.

and what is with the sikhni cudnt she find some sing im sure there is enough of them heree tellher to go to southall she will be married within an hour stupid witch

RupayHalwa

There is such a thing as adultery of the voice, and of the eyes and of the ears. It doesnt only hav to b physical. Everytime he talks to her (AND THERE IS NO NEED TO TALK TO HER) he is committing adultery of the voice and ears. Everytime he looks at her with desire, he is committing adultery of the eyes. More contact will fuel this attraction to her.

sweetu

if this is in uk is it not going to b classed as bigamy?

Riya

Eww what a disgusting perv. And it says alot about the woman who is knowingly involved with a married man. I dont understand how these men can leave their good wives for outside trash? Dont they see what kind of morals these women have to begin with? Today some other woman's husband, whose to say after marriage she wont be chasing yet another woman's husband. These tricks thrive on feeling like they're some sort of special trophy cuz the man left the nice shareef mother of his kids at home to come get entangled in her charms. Kill them both I say.

sweetu

^or an even simpler way how about she goes up to him n says 'umm bura nhi manana but i have another guy in my life n i have promised to marry him, dnt get me wrong i still love u but i cant help myself'
i wonder what his reaction is going to b?

funguy

what country is this happening in? He can't marry two at a time in the US. Is this in PK?

PhatBalongri

I can understand where all of you guys are coming from and the thought of my husband falling in love with someone else after 13 years is pretty scary but look at the situation from the guys point of view. He didn't choose to feel that way about this other woman. Offcourse i am sure he was doing things such as talking to na-mehram on the phone while being married which offcourse all of you guys think is okay to do because a guy and a girl can be just friends. But this is the result of those things which we consider "halal" in todays society. And its too late for what he shouldn't have done, it sounds like he has made up his mind about marrying this other woman. And how come no one pointed any finger towards this other woman whoes wrecked a home? I think he did the right thing by telling her. He is way better than ba$tards who cheat on their wives and actually marry these women and think that its okay to lie to your wife about it.
Your cousin has two options, either let him have a second wife or leave him. She has to think about the kids(i dont have any so i cant tell you what else comes with that). Most importantly, she has to consider herself. Is she going to be happy with a divorce? Can she go through a lifestyle where she has to share her husband? I am sure he will help out with kids if he is making her part of the decision. Can she support her self financially and emotionally? What kind of support will she get from her family and friends? And offcourse shes gonna have to consider re-marrying, but thats later.

Mirch

Seems like the best thing to do minus the cut off part.

sana020477

well he his a muslim but doesnt practice it, and the sikhni and him worked together at the same job they started talking as freinds and then they fell in love he says he didnt mean to it just happened.

sana020477

Hey what agood advice i showed these replys to my cousin she says defnitly shell try saying this thanxs

bebo

If he is muslim then he is just using his right that religion gives him.
If the current wife does not approve then she should file for divorce, make sure gets atleast half of his assets and child support.

Faisal

This just re-enforces my views that women should be educated and financially independent. That way, emotional scars aside, if a husband comes in with this kind of news, the wife will not be completely devastated. Not sure if this lady-in-question has the financial means to support herself. Hopefully she is educated and has a job.

If not, then seems like the lady has a choice. Either be a divorcee with 3 kids and rely on financial support from her ex-husband (and family). Or agree to his second marriage and share her husband with another woman, and maintain the current life-style to an extent.

If she is financially independent and world-wise then she can kick him out on account of infidelity, and then take him to cleaners in a divorce settlement to completely ruin him for the rest of his life. That will be much more bitter-sweet than the emotional "cut him off" kinda advice. The years of life you invest with your spouse can never be returned, so lets not even go there.

By the way, the husband can only marry his sweetheart for a second marriage if the law allows it. US and other western countries do not allow multiple marriages.

Your President

Way to turn it around on her. Oh honey, you will earn good deeds if you destroy your life. Complete and utter BS. She should tell him she's in love with another man and wants to divorce him so she can take the kids to their new daddy.






ps: I would still cut his man parts off.

Stylical

Second marriage is not something to cry on, but if a man is marrying a widower or orphan .
I urge to my husband to go for it cause I really want to help someone who is in need.

Your President

Do you really need to marry a woman or orphan to help them? Can't a man take on the responsibility of a woman financially? I send $$ to Pakistan to two families each month. I have taken on the responsibility of their groceries. If I had more to offer, I'd take on more. I didn't have to marry any of those women to help them. And I don't plan on having sex with any either.

Marrying to help is such a hypocritical notion.