array it is not like i seek attention from somebody elses wife. i seek attention from my wife.
did i tell people she has high temper, baat shuru hoti nahi, jhaar pehlay shuru. baat only when she wants to. meri to sunti ni
your poor wife is postpartum.
I agree with ansoon and others...move back to pakistan...
you are making a mockery of your 'relationship' and have closed your ears to every sensible advice there is.
''I am the fifth dimension. I am the eighth wonder of the world, I can split the atom.''
I am sorry lothario..a successful marriage is between two independent minded people who become co-dependent when brought together..love is heavily reflected through our codependency...think of a marriage as a two headed mythological character..with one body...thats how it is....a married couple is a two headed animal with one body.....period.
Right now, you dont have a 'relationship'....it feels as if your wife has adopted a foreign kid..who hasnt weaned off his birth mother yet.
i know what you are saying. i am not a child. i will try advice from here. but i do not understand why i should leave my mother to have relationship with my wife. are all married people mother-less?
Everyone sees faults in me, no body is seeing how she is also with problems. She fights, very high temper, blows up, gets my mother involved. Then after fights she ignores me, stops talking me to knowing full well i have no body else to talk to. why does she do that? her excuse is she keeps quiet because i disrespect her. i dont do that unless we fight and aving argument is not dis respect. or is it? ofcourse we are both shouting in a fight.
Shahzaday ki ammi nahin hn na... to bechara ronay ko hora hai..
cricket, dont you love your mother?
also in one fight she said tum koi shahzaday nahi ho. kasmay dil kat ke leera leera ho gaya. i even told my sister what she said. kamray mai aa ke i cried zarokatar.
lothari, it is sad that you are involved in such fights in the first place...
apni salah aap karne ki zaroorat hai..you should understand that your situation is very atypical...even a girl brought up in america who is very independent..needs a man. A man with self respect..because a man who respects himself, will respect others.
i know what you are saying. i am not a child. i will try advice from here. but i do not understand why i should leave my mother to have relationship with my wife. are all married people mother-less?
Everyone sees faults in me, no body is seeing how she is also with problems. She fights, very high temper, blows up, gets my mother involved. Then after fights she ignores me, stops talking me to knowing full well i have no body else to talk to. why does she do that? her excuse is she keeps quiet because i disrespect her. i dont do that unless we fight and aving argument is not dis respect. or is it? ofcourse we are both shouting in a fight.
well then you guys are NOT meant for each other. Couples fight.. but those who love each other learn to sacrifice. I won't talk on your wife's behalf but if you really love her than rather than thinking about her faults, think about her good side. If you can't find any than you are not in love with her. You need to look at her positive side.
Also no one is asking you to leave your mother and never talk to her but every relationship has its place. Sometimes you need to realize that somethings are private between husband and wife. Your fights are your private matter, even if your wife dragged your mom in it, you should try to make sure you don't do the same.
At this point you are not showing maturity that a 28yr old should have.
So stop waiting for us to blame her. we are NOT blaming you, we are showing what your wife *might* be seeing in you as well but won't say it on your face.
mujh sey khushiaan ley gaya aur degya kagaz kay phoool
abb meray ghar mein paray hain jabaja kagaz kay phoool
leave your mother out of your married life...why would you assume that it means you will be cutting her out of your life.....when you get married...all relationships around you change..and evolve...that is what us humans do...we evolve according to the situation we are in..balance is the key.
ma ka pyar apni jaga hai. Apni wife ka pyar earn karo..jis ke saat sari zindagi guzarni hai.
also in one fight she said tum koi shahzaday nahi ho. kasmay dil kat ke leera leera ho gaya. i even told my sister what she said. kamray mai aa ke i cried zarokatar.
haha dude.. bhai meray you just made me laugh so hard that i think my manager is going to ask me what the hell is so funny..
you cried coz she said that? WTF!??!?!?! jaani you are not a shehzada.. you are literally the exact definition of "spoiled brat" .. your picture should be beside that term in the dictionary.
OMG this topic is insane. Really dude, are you even serious or is this a joke? and OMG I cant stop laughing at your sentence "she doesnt give me love and attention. I need that" not exact quote but u get the idea .. hello wakey wakey.. you're 28! not 5!
haha dude.. bhai meray you just made me laugh so hard that i think my manager is going to ask me what the hell is so funny..
you cried coz she said that? WTF!??!?!?! jaani you are not a shehzada.. you are literally the exact definition of "spoiled brat" .. your picture should be beside that term in the dictionary.
I get the feeling that you dont agree with any of the advice given here since we want you to change and instead you want someone to blame your wife for the problems in your marriage.
no no i am going to write every good thing down. i think people dont understand me or may be i am not explaining things in proper manner. maybe only girls are reading this and do not understand how a man feels. maybe you reverse situation then you will understand beter. maybe think of me as a wife and her as husband. think as if i do not cook, she has job. Not every girl knows how to cook, sahi. What if i as wife is away from parents in a new far off country. Do you see my pointnow? all girls please reverse situation and you will understand.
you girls think man has no feelings. what is right for girl, you think is wrong for man.
I think you guys are nit picking on each other because thats the closest target you have to pass time.
How long have you guys been married? What are your ages?
You guys need to understand that marraige is not "welcome to happily ever after".These small things that are being exxagerated into mountains..Please "Pick Your Battles" Not every battle/fight is worth fighting. You have to understand , if you control one reaction of yours to her trying to pick a fight ...the next time she may realize.Patience man!, it is the key.
If you two have a goal set in your life...please make sure that you lay the plan out very clearly by negotiating.."Negotiating" I repeat with each other.There are some things that can really be deal breakers in a marraige, rest you should constantly negotiate and renegotiate.
One thing is when you come into a marraige and from you and I become "we", it sure should not mean the end of the two "I's"
Please make sure both of you have time apart as well as together so you two are in a better frame of mind as to what you are bringing into the marriage. Please keep thierd parties out of your relationship. Life is not a bed of roses..you gotta give some to get some.Good luck!
Only as high as I reach can I grow,Only as far as I seek can I go,Only as deep as I look can I see,
no no, not special. i am youngest and my brother, sister mother father love me very much. I am ghar ki ronak in lahore, ab my ammi says khali khali ghar hai. idher america aakay choohay ka moo ban gaya hai, na khanay ka maza na peena ka. pani bhi ras nahi aaya. bohat depression hai.
Just talk communicate..even if it's about "Pink BED sheets"
And keep mommy out of this..it's not right and no women will allow this..even though she turns to them.Involving mom can complicate things ..MORE!
yes, but i have to talk to someone. my mother knows how i feel and comfort me when i am sad. i need my wife to fix somethings in her attitude and i am sure everything will be fixed.
^you are joking right???
wow..
dunya ka pehla aur akhri lukhte jigar....
bhai saab...is duniya mein koi special nahin hai!!!!
special se special logon ne bohat mushkilein jehlien hai....ashraful makhlukaat ka aizaz aisey nahin mila..
also in one fight she said tum koi shahzaday nahi ho. kasmay dil kat ke leera leera ho gaya. i even told my sister what she said. kamray mai aa ke i cried zarokatar.
This post is a proof that this thread is a joke or the poster is a teenager.
I am a man with a plan. A plan to live a simple , fulfilling life.
no no, not special. i am youngest and my brother, sister mother father love me very much. I am ghar ki ronak in lahore, ab my ammi says khali khali ghar hai. idher america aakay choohay ka moo ban gaya hai, na khanay ka maza na peena ka. pani bhi ras nahi aaya. bohat depression hai.
people here are just giving u advices based on wht u wrote. either explain ur situation better or take these advices that people are giving and improve ur relationship.
based on wht u wrote initially, you are the one being a baby.
sorry but this is true
take my advice i gave someone else. you are a girl, you reverse roles to understand better.
Lothario your story is exactly how it is when a girl who gets married and goes to somebody else's home. I hope this way you can be more empathatic to how it is with the girls.Please make sure that you keep your eyes to the long term future GOAL, and just take all of these things as difficulties that will only make you guys stronger.
ok. first i go and see in the kitchen why the bhanday are kharking. phir roti kha ke aata hoon. jab aik bajay utay gi ko teen bajay khana banay ga na. my mother told he last week ke ye kon si aadat hai ke aik bajay tak so.
Fact is tht u are homesick and u want to go bak to ur mummy in pak! I dnt think u'll eva adjust in any foreign country, unless U urself make an effort, all these small issues ur bringing up are excuses to say thingz are really wrong between u and ur wife, wen nuthing majorly is wrong tht can't be fixed, u just want to go bak to ur old life in lahore! Mayb u shuda got married to a gal from there, n u had been to america few times before, so u must hav known and realised whether u wud b able to live here or not....
Life isnt fair, u can't alwayz get wat u want, ur new life is in america get used to it!
Nahi nahi, i do work sometimes. lekin we both know it is not the end of the world and not required. this has never been an issue for us to fight. but it was brought up by her in some fights but not the reason of the fight. she does not work, well may be a few days of consultancy work in a few months and I have never in my full life have asked her to work, never.
^that's the problem..you don't listen to her. if your fight starts off about something else and in that fight if she brings work in a fight then it is obviously an issue for her, maybe she doesn't communicate effectively either but if you listen to her then you wouldn't be in this situation. You say money isn't an issue which is fantastic and one of the biggest reasons people argue is over money. I think the issue might be that she wants you to work so that you are able to integrate into society better, understand the way the system works where you live and more importantly your working to provide for the house would make her respect you more. right now she does consultancy work and earns money..but she may be thinking of the future..what will happen if suddenly you lose your money and you haven't built up experiance to get a good job that could support you and your future children? how are you going to survive? is she going to be the sole earner, the cook, cleaner and mother? maybe she doesn't want you to cook and stay at home because she wants you to earn. she wants you to be happy in america.
You say that you've only been married a short while and your already wanting to go home...what does that say to her! that you don't want to live their..are you going to want to go back to pakistan everytime things get too difficult. as i said before you need to sit down and talk properly and if it begins to turn into an argument take a step back and calm yourself down..if you don't get angry eventually she'll have to calm down and talk about it all. an you are only thinking of this from your point of view..you need to, as i said before understand her and build trust and respect.
In my opinion there are ONLY two options:
- move back to Lahore and live off as you used to
- realize that this is america and life here is a struggle. Your wife went through it and now you are going through it. .
that's right , pick any one of these 2 options .............. as u're trying to blend these 2 in a terrible way i.e; trying to live exactly the way u used to live in lahore, in u.s without adapting anything from there(u.s) which has become frustrating for u & is effecting yr married life
Picking a fight on an internet forum is like running in the Special Olympics , win or lose , U're still retarded ....
Doing nothing is very hard to do.... You never know when you're finished... .......Come & visit me sometime..........
