Submission To Peace

It seems to have become a part of our desi culture. If a boy is insisting in delaying marriage and is not mentally prepared for it, his parents might tell him that they have already crossed the average age of present times (or are suffering from a killing disease) and they don't want to take their wish (of seeing his bride) along with them to grave......*He starts thinking* If in near future my parents died without seeing my marriage, I would NEVER be able to forgive myself till my death. They have given all the sacrifices for me, why can't I just sacrifice my "aim of completing studies before marriage" because they are blinded by this wish and are not ready to understand how much studies are important for my career.

In case of a spouse or any other relationship, at times such emotional tools are used to convince people to do what they want from them. Some people might even stop their spouse from giving money in charity by showing them the innocent faces of their children and their future requirements, but at the same time wasting money in useless lavish hobbies. Even some religious people use such ways to convince a person to leave bad habits and become a good practicing person. Others use it for selling their products or taking benefit from anyone.

In your opinion, is it a good way of convincing anyone. In which cases do you think it is appropriate / inappropriate ?

dewdrops2

Emotional blackmailing is used a lot.
Its beneficial at times .In cases where it is used to make someone Stop from wrong etc.
At times it hurts the other party.
So ,well people should be able to see the pros & cons of every situation before deciding .

brother_quraysh

for someone who has been effected by emotional blackmail, it is not a nice thing at all

it just pushes you further away from your loved ones

and then they wonder what went wrong..!

Dushwari

anyone ever being deceptive, does not deserve to be with anybody who is sincere to her / him.

it is true that men are more deceptive with women.
the best thing to do is, not be deceptive your self, if you value your self respect.
there is no need to stay in a relationship and drag it, as well as cover the abnoxious behaviors of the insincere side, ever.
people do come forward with the most astonishing of all self embarassing words, feelings and thoughts.
they think that they are not obvious, but they are.

may all good hearted and honest people only run into good partners. ameen.

dewdrops2

emotional blackmailing is not bad all the time !

aqm805

I believe in being very straight forward in communication. Would prefer to give others the opportunity to analyze the options available, and decide whatever they think is best for them to do. I have always observed, that if adequate explanation is given to a person, they have not made any insensible decisions at all.

Submission To Peace

Nice sharing everyone. Thanks.

At times I feel REALLY tempted to emotionally blackmail a certain kind of people. For example, I have come across some people who are all the time complaining to their Lord for not blessing them with enough blessings, show thankless attitude for the privilege they have been blessed with and people who have helped them in the past, YET they DON'T try enough to help themselves and also DON'T obey the orders of their own LORD. They give less to people and expect too much from them.

I feel tempted to tell them indirectly, " Our Lord mostly helps those who help themselves and are obedient to HIM and serve people in every possible way to their level best instead of crying and complaining all the time and being unthankful for even the blessings which they might not deserve but were lucky to get them"

rozendeva

i think parents are right in insisting for their childen to get settled ... i have noticed that , with changing times , the more the marriages are getting delayed the more the boys and girls are getting corrupt .. and that is not good .... at all .so what ever our parents do we should think that its for our own good and accept it . however i do say that choose a life partner of your liking but dont delay marriage unnecessarily

zarra8

Agree with some of this....STP its not a bad thing for parents to insist on the son settling down....there is a hadith of Prophet Muhammed (P.B.U) which says something along the lines that when two parties agree on marriage then it should not be delayed lest shaitan causes fitna/obstruction and Allah knows best.