Marrying back home...?

fairywings85 · Dec 12th, 2008, 09:43 AM

hey guys

have a bit of a problem....hopefully u guys can help me out...

basically a few months ago i overheard my mum talking to my aunty on the phone and she was saying that she wouldnt want her daughter(me) marry a guy from back home..at the time i was over the moon cos id heard soooo many stories bout guys coming from pak and basically using the girl for a visa...so anyway i was just soo happy...

BUT then i went to pakistan in the summer and basically fell in love with a guy (doh!) and now i dont know what to do...lik i know hes genuine and he doesnt just want to be with me cos of where im from cos he actually wants to stay in pak and blah blah...hes at uni at the moment doing a degree..

but like my parents are always like why would girls from here want to marry guys from back home..they are so different they hav a different approach to life...blah blah

so basically yea...im confused

JimmyKimble · Dec 12th, 2008, 09:48 AM

You need to get rid of "blah blah blah" from your life.
Then you will be able to see things clearly.
If you do have to live with "blah" then cut that guy lose, don't make him miserable.

skausur · Dec 12th, 2008, 09:51 AM

Yeah ur parents are dif lol

Guys backhome can be really great really sweet and understanding and loving and they will remain that way even when they arrive here inshallah.

Just talk to your parents it's the only thing you can do good luck xx

Eyelashes · Dec 12th, 2008, 09:58 AM

just talk to ur parents
have them meet the guy n his family n really see that his genuine
at the end .. ur parents know wuts best for u
i left my rishta decision up to them and God and im happy with it

fairywings85 · Dec 12th, 2008, 11:13 AM

sorry bout the blah blah lol..!!! thanks for the advice guys!

uhm yea the guys fam are family friends so its not all that bad....

but is soooo true guys from back home are so sweet and sensitive...they actually want a relationship..i was so shocked cos u hear things and its the other way round..it just shows u shouldnt stereotype right?

mAd_ScIeNtIsT · Dec 12th, 2008, 11:20 AM

If you like the guy from back home I'm sure your parents wouldn't have a severe issue with it. They will sit down and warn you about seriously consider the risks of it, but from what you said it sounds more like what your mum meant was that she wouldn't go looking back home for a guy for you.

fairywings85 · Dec 12th, 2008, 11:31 AM

^ true true

so u mean she wont specificly look in pak but if there happens to be someone...the...its ok?

Amour · Dec 12th, 2008, 11:59 AM

^^ cause i have seen problems mostly cause guys from back are forced/arranged by parents. but you have different situation. your parents may prefer a guy from here they know about, but I guess they wouldnt mind a guy from back home that you really know about. you were lucky to have for 6 months there. atleast you know his nature and way he approaches life.
but mind it anyone from there will say he will stay in pak so you dont think they are after visa etc etc and plus some ego back there. once you get married it will change.

PrinceMS · Dec 12th, 2008, 12:11 PM

Marrige is a gamble, guy from there or from here has minor impact - more so of personalities / families.

Since you are in love, you are blind. Your judgement is possibly impaired, so trust others to decide.

Also - Prepare for the worst, hope for the best

fairywings85 · Dec 12th, 2008, 12:13 PM

others? as in my parents?