i have lost my sleep coz ov dis - Page 2

mehroze · Jul 1st, 2009, 05:37 AM

fairytale

thanksss

thats so sweet ov u

mehroze · Jul 1st, 2009, 05:39 AM

mashallah im happy and really lucky to have such a MIL...i get very surprised to see MILs treat their DILs bad...

Jaanwar · Jul 1st, 2009, 05:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Slickstar

try to get this off your mind by going to some English classes.

^ dat!

RupayHalwa · Jul 1st, 2009, 06:15 AM

Much ado about nothing... (BTW your husband and MIL sound cool).

redvelvet · Jul 1st, 2009, 06:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mehroze

thank u guys for all ur sugesstions MIL made both of us me and hubby sit down and talked to us about the outfit issue.....he just said to me i am really sorry if i made you feel this way....why dont u gave friends wife a call...so MIL said yes go and call her...and i did she was really happy with the fact that we sent her the outfit n so on i just said bhabhi you will be getting it delievered soon please do let me know if you like it or not. i felt so guilty after all this...

Mehroze, I agree with the above posters that if your husband was really having an affair, he would do his best to keep his affair a secret from you. The fact that he is being open with you about this gift suggests that he is not having an affair with this woman.

There is one thing to consider. Your MIL and husband behaved in a very caring and understanding manner toward you this time. But.......if you continue having suspicions about your husband for every little thing...........then the next time your MIL and husband may NOT be patient with you. Your husband knows you love him so try to have more faith in him and your relationship. You don't want to drive him away with constant suspicions because that reflects a lack of trust and confidence. So, strengthen your relationship with some trust in your partner

mehroze · Jul 1st, 2009, 07:26 AM

hmmmm u guys are rite....its just that so much cheating wives and all is going on dese days that i get scared my friends are always saying their hubbies did this n that and MRS...bla bla s hubby was dating anothe woman and mrs.....did dis im just scared as i love him way to much and i just wont be able to bare it

Pakilarka · Jul 1st, 2009, 07:36 AM

Poor Husband

.....

1. His wife is being very suspicious abt his character....
2. She thinks he is stupid, which is worst

I really feel bad for him.

mehroze · Jul 1st, 2009, 07:39 AM

lol i neva said he is stupid NJdude

redvelvet · Jul 1st, 2009, 07:44 AM

Mehroz, God Forbid.........but if your husband did cheat on you........you will figure out how to handle that situation if and when that happens.

But if you start worrying about things that might never happen.......you are hurting the good relationship that you have now. If you worry too much about what will happen tomorrow.......you won't be able to enjoy the present/today. Spend the present time in a positive way and make your relationship strong so that your husband won't even dream of cheating tomorrow.

Pakilarka · Jul 1st, 2009, 07:46 AM

Oh true u never said it.

However if someone is having affair and gets his mistress something from his wife's outlet and moreover he is telling his wife to pick the dress for her.... Then someone clearly is stupid.

Oh by the way ... i think ur husband is the "someone" in ur short story.

Okay something on serious note... If he isnt cheating (which is most likely the case), one day u will figure how faith full ur hubby is and u will feel guilty for a long time coz u had doubts abt his character.

mehroze · Jul 1st, 2009, 10:11 AM

i do feel bad

amir_pindi · Jul 1st, 2009, 02:30 PM

hey mehroze Im happy for you things turned out alrite.

But possesiveness is a natural thing, dont make yoru self feel too bad. If it were your husband in your place he could have thoguht the same.

Just take this as a new experiecne and a learning block.

From now on, take care of your husband so well so he never even needs to think of another girl.
And a men like women also have emotional as well as physical needs. Give him full attention, and more on the things that are important to him.

queer · Jul 1st, 2009, 02:48 PM

well why don't you trust your husband? has he done anything funky before?

Straight_up · Jul 1st, 2009, 07:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sadzzz

Straight_Up, u reckon he may be cheating?

hmm i dunno.

Sometimes i think when us wives are overworked and when husband's are spending more time at work (for real reasons) we get a bit psychotic... seriously.

I don't know either sadzzz, but having read her previous thread - it seems like the husband is just super-duper-over-the-top busy. She gets stood up on quite often. Plus, why is he asking her for a woman's outfit and saying "she" won't wear it if it's sleevless or whatever. Shouldn't he get his 'friend's wife' or whatever the story is, to call his wife and get that outfit arranged? I don't know sadzzz, many men display the 'offence is the best defense' strategy when it comes to cheating - which includes just this: make her think she's going insane for even doubting him.

Desi_BeauTii · Jul 1st, 2009, 08:22 PM

I'm sorry to say but.... how is his friends wife going to wear something she didn't pick out n hasn't seen herself? Did ur husband have her size who's doing the fitting? I think it's weird for a guy to go up to his friend n say ." dude can u have ur wife pick out an outfit for my wife." it wuda been a different story if they were friends or at least knew eachother, something seems fishy to me.

RupayHalwa · Jul 2nd, 2009, 03:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Straight_up

I don't know either sadzzz, but having read her previous thread - it seems like the husband is just super-duper-over-the-top busy. She gets stood up on quite often. Plus, why is he asking her for a woman's outfit and saying "she" won't wear it if it's sleevless or whatever. Shouldn't he get his 'friend's wife' or whatever the story is, to call his wife and get that outfit arranged? I don't know sadzzz, many men display the 'offence is the best defense' strategy when it comes to cheating - which includes just this: make her think she's going insane for even doubting him.

[QUOTE=Desi_BeauTii;6624069]I'm sorry to say but.... how is his friends wife going to wear something she didn't pick out n hasn't seen herself? Did ur husband have her size who's doing the fitting? I think it's weird for a guy to go up to his friend n say ." dude can u have ur wife pick out an outfit for my wife." it wuda been a different story if they were friends or at least knew eachother, something seems fishy to me.[/QUOTE]

Straight up and desi, people are DIFFERENT - not everyone is the same as everyone else. Perhaps you would never accept or wear an outfit that has been bought by some one else, according to someone else's choice bcos it doesn't match your specifics, HOWEVER, there are people in this world who think DIFFERENTLY than you and would put some trust in another's choice.

I don't see anything unusual in a man asking his friend to ask his wife to send an outfit for his wife, ESPECIALLY since she has a business that deals in outfits! My husband occasionally asks his friends to pick and choose some ready made suits to send over from Pakistan for me, his friends either rope in their wive's or sister's to go shopping and get the outfits. All they have to go on is the length of dress and salwar and width of the hem, this would give them an idea of size, and they fit ok. My husband also ask's his friend to make sure its long sleeved and doesn't have a scooped out back or an overly large neckline or I won't wear it. Whats wrong with that?

Unless I read it wrong, Mehroze's husband was asked by HIS FRIEND to ask his wife to send something for his wife, with those instructions.

Do u really think this lady who received the clothes is going to be thinking, "Oh, I am allowed to have an affair, but I'm not allowed to show my arms"???

RupayHalwa · Jul 2nd, 2009, 03:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redvelvet

Mehroze, I agree with the above posters that if your husband was really having an affair, he would do his best to keep his affair a secret from you. The fact that he is being open with you about this gift suggests that he is not having an affair with this woman.

There is one thing to consider. Your MIL and husband behaved in a very caring and understanding manner toward you this time. But.......if you continue having suspicions about your husband for every little thing...........then the next time your MIL and husband may NOT be patient with you. Your husband knows you love him so try to have more faith in him and your relationship. You don't want to drive him away with constant suspicions because that reflects a lack of trust and confidence. So, strengthen your relationship with some trust in your partner

Quote:

Originally Posted by redvelvet

Mehroz, God Forbid.........but if your husband did cheat on you........you will figure out how to handle that situation if and when that happens.

But if you start worrying about things that might never happen.......you are hurting the good relationship that you have now. If you worry too much about what will happen tomorrow.......you won't be able to enjoy the present/today. Spend the present time in a positive way and make your relationship strong so that your husband won't even dream of cheating tomorrow.

AGREE!!!

Straight_up · Jul 2nd, 2009, 12:02 PM

So in this case, it's all ifs ands or buts and differences of opinions. If she is losing her sleep over this and she is genuinely unhappy about the suit thing - she deserves to voice her concerns and be given a satisfactory explanation. So far, I see nothing satisfactory.

Chicken Biryani · Jul 2nd, 2009, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mehroze

hmmmmm i dun knw sumtymes i feel why duz life become so difficult when everything is just so perfect things just get messed up

Or perhaps sometimes WE make it even more difficult for ourselves .... ?

Trust is a very basic element in a relationship and if you are losing your sleep over it , then clearly there is a problem somewhere ...

are you not communicating enough with him? has he said something or done something in the past to let you down since you are suspecting him ?

If not , then please dont let such things ruin a perfect relationship otherwise .... when thoughts like these come to your mind , learn to brush them away before they leave a lasting impact on your life ...

Good luck , I hope positive feelings take over the negative ones ..

Desi_BeauTii · Jul 2nd, 2009, 07:56 PM

Some people think dat they can get away wit things if they r partially honest .Chup chup ke koi kaam karo ge to sab shak kar te hain but if ur more open people think he can't be doing something wrong if he was he wuda been more discreet n secrative, He's not dat stupid. I'm really not trying to be negative. I've just known lot of people wit dis mentality.