Shaadi & leaving family...

shona09 · Jul 1st, 2009, 07:31 AM

All you girls, when u got married and esp went to a different country.. How did u feel..?
Leaving ur parents and siblings........its soooo Hard!
As time is coming close it bothers me alot... I try not to think about it...
I love my fiance' to bits... but im sure u guys understand what im going thru...
INSHALLAH all will be good.....

but i'd love to hear abt ur experiences. When did u first come back home to meet ur parents..

DigitalDomain · Jul 1st, 2009, 10:42 AM

I'm in the same boat as you Shona. Only 5 months till my wedding, inshaAllah and it's getting worse- the thought of leaving my family/friends and everything I've ever known behind

I want to hear other girls experiences as well.

sazzie · Jul 1st, 2009, 11:55 AM

i feel sad for you both

, im not in the same boat as you, but my hubby had to move countries to be with me after we married. he was really homesick and sad, but we went back together to pakistan to see family and friends after 3 months. after we returned, i noticed he was a lot more ok on being here, and less homesick. we are gonna try and go back as often as poss.
once you move to your new homes, i suggest you try and get to know the city/town etc you'll be living in, make friends,get involved in local activities and be sociable even if you dont want to, itll help you to settle into your new homes and distract you a little from homesickness.
best of luck to you both

Slickstar · Jul 1st, 2009, 12:20 PM

Dont get married.

DigitalDomain · Jul 1st, 2009, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sazzie

i feel sad for you both

, im not in the same boat as you, but my hubby had to move countries to be with me after we married. he was really homesick and sad, but we went back together to pakistan to see family and friends after 3 months. after we returned, i noticed he was a lot more ok on being here, and less homesick. we are gonna try and go back as often as poss.
once you move to your new homes, i suggest you try and get to know the city/town etc you'll be living in, make friends,get involved in local activities and be sociable even if you dont want to, itll help you to settle into your new homes and distract you a little from homesickness.
best of luck to you both

Thanks a lot sazzie, some great suggestions

shona09 · Jul 1st, 2009, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sazzie

i feel sad for you both

, im not in the same boat as you, but my hubby had to move countries to be with me after we married. he was really homesick and sad, but we went back together to pakistan to see family and friends after 3 months. after we returned, i noticed he was a lot more ok on being here, and less homesick. we are gonna try and go back as often as poss.
once you move to your new homes, i suggest you try and get to know the city/town etc you'll be living in, make friends,get involved in local activities and be sociable even if you dont want to, itll help you to settle into your new homes and distract you a little from homesickness.
best of luck to you both

awww, thanku soooo much! it really helps. InshAllah hope goes fine...

shona09 · Jul 1st, 2009, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DigitalDomain

I'm in the same boat as you Shona. Only 5 months till my wedding, inshaAllah and it's getting worse- the thought of leaving my family/friends and everything I've ever known behind

I want to hear other girls experiences as well.

awww, All the best for everything. May Allah bless you with lots of happiness... May u have a prosperous married life...

where about will you b moving after wedding...???

muneebajadoon · Jul 1st, 2009, 04:58 PM

hey dear gud gud luck 4ur marriage

soni27 · Jul 1st, 2009, 05:04 PM

no pain no gain..

Dua_G · Jul 1st, 2009, 05:45 PM

its really to hard to leave parents/siblings especially if you are going to some other country after marriage. i was also in that situation before 2 yrs but now life is setteled. in early days i used to cry a lot and it seems that i can never adjust but now its ok. Inshallah every thing will be ok with time.

DigitalDomain · Jul 1st, 2009, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shona09

awww, All the best for everything. May Allah bless you with lots of happiness... May u have a prosperous married life...

where about will you b moving after wedding...???

Thank you very much Shona

I'm moving to Dubai.

Where will you be moving? When is your wedding?

Wish you all the best and a very happy and successful married life

shona09 · Jul 2nd, 2009, 09:30 AM

^ Thankyou soo much!
i'll b going to America InshAllah... really need prayers.
Hope all goes well..

Sahar02 · Jul 2nd, 2009, 10:33 AM

I didn't go very far actually. We live ten minutes from my parents', and his parents also moved close by soon after, so mashAllah we have a lot of support in the area. I don't miss being in the house itself. But I see my family pretty regularly, so maybe that is why. I also went away for college and graduate school, so I had become more comfortable with living independently.

shona09 · Jul 5th, 2009, 10:04 AM

Sahar, Lucky u.......
how do u feel.. is this good or living far away would have been better. cz sumtimes i see grls living in the same area, or city can't come for sleep overs to their parents..?

Sahar02 · Jul 5th, 2009, 10:40 AM

^ Yeah, that's true. We don't often stay over, unless there's a specific reason to. But I also don't usually want to. It's nice to be able to go home and sleep in my own space. But there's no rule saying you can't stay over!

tashfeen · Jul 5th, 2009, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shona09

All you girls, when u got married and esp went to a different country.. How did u feel..?
Leaving ur parents and siblings........its soooo Hard!
As time is coming close it bothers me alot... I try not to think about it...
I love my fiance' to bits... but im sure u guys understand what im going thru...
INSHALLAH all will be good.....

but i'd love to hear abt ur experiences. When did u first come back home to meet ur parents..

I was in the same boat some three months back.. but trust me its NOT that 'hard' you are thinking once you have a cooperative and loving husband.

The feelings you are going through is pretty normal... excited to start a new life, sad for leaving back your beloveds... for me the good part is we used to talk and develop pretty much understand after our engagement and Nikkah..

Crying and missing yor parents and siblngs too is pretty normal... I cried alot and I still cry... though now I have overcome that extreme abnormal feeling! Lol... Yet in the evenings when no one is around (my hubby's job timings are pretty hard) and in nights I still used to yell... mamaaaaaaaaaaaaa... in dreams I still used to talk with my siblings. Lol

Alhamdolilah he's cooperative enough... Remember leaving parents house isnt easy enough, you cant go together away with crying and not missing your family... BUT try to adjust as soon as you can... thats better for you both...

As far as coming back to meet parents is concerned.. I got married some 3 months back, came here (dubai) some coiple of months ago.. haven't planned any Pakistan trip yet, maybe my sis wedding.. and thats so exciting idea...

But when I was back in pakistan right after shadi... its such a BIGGGGGG treat to visit parents place! Though I didnt have enough time to spent a day with them!

shona09 · Jul 5th, 2009, 04:57 PM

awww...
i know its hard, but you've said really well... it's better to adjust asap!

chalphutoye · Jul 6th, 2009, 12:03 AM

i am getting married in less then 2 weeks inshallah andd the idea of leaving my parents houseee is just so SCARYYYYY.. its so freakin hard to not cry.. i hav been tryn to keep my mind busy in other things yet i end up crying almst every time i think abt it.. as the days r passing the strange feeling of loss is getting stronger n stronger and it kinda makes me irritated at times

.

shona09 · Jul 7th, 2009, 08:32 AM

awww. i totally understand what ur going thru... but really don't cry and try to spend maximum time with ur family...
Are you going faaaaaaar away..?
All the best good luck for the wedding..