not having a job

sadzzz · Jul 5th, 2009, 08:37 PM

is it REALLY important for a guy to have a job when looking for a girl?

Is this more important to the parents or to the girl?

When i got married, or met my to-be-hubby, i couldnt careless. It would have been nice for him to have a job, but it certainly was no big deal for me or for my parents.

Has time changed that much in the past 4 or so years?

And, im talking about professional jobs... most people have part-time jobs.. does that not count for being slightly responsible?

lady_lama · Jul 5th, 2009, 08:43 PM

a job is important for me, it signals security. And some parents want to make sure their daughter is going into a stable environment where her husband can take care of her. Where else will the food on the table come from??

lady_lama · Jul 5th, 2009, 08:44 PM

On the other hand if he's educated and looking for a job thts okay too in my eyes and im sure my parents wud b happy with tht. Just so he has a secure future thts what matters.

sadzzz · Jul 5th, 2009, 08:58 PM

^ ur second post made more sense

lady_lama · Jul 5th, 2009, 08:59 PM

LOL! my problem is tht i dont read what im writing. Im like thinking a million diff. things wen i am typing so probz duz cum out slightly dodgy
aslong as u understood tho lol

but wait i re read it. makes sense to me :s

sadzzz · Jul 5th, 2009, 09:05 PM

no i totally understand your first post too... its just i like the second one more

the thing is, for me, a job never meant security.

An educated person who had the potential to grow, who had the right mindset to succeed was more of a criteria for me than a job. As my mama always said, jobs come and go.. kal ka kya patha. If u base ur criteria on someone having a job... what will happen the day he loses it? will u drop him?

nadz123 · Jul 5th, 2009, 09:17 PM

im marrying someone who at the minute has no job....but hes masters educated, can get any job he wants..hes got all the skills and exp mashallah...he had to give up work to fo a 3 month software testing or blah watever course....

it doesnt bother me too much, i know we both will find jobs inshallah...

lady_lama · Jul 5th, 2009, 09:34 PM

^ yea like the situation im in currently is like my fiance's in pak and he has a job but once he leaves and comes here he wont have one so he'll have to find one so i guess he'll b kinda unemployed when we do start off life together but he has the educational background like nadz's fiance wit a master and what not along with experience out ther so inshallah it wont be so bad but what i meant by my first post is that some parents want a guy who has savings and a house seperate from his parents blah blah just for a secure mind i guess.

persoanlly im not botherd bcoz i always say whatevers in ur kismat wil come ur way.. wherever ur rozee is written like ur mum sez kal ka kya patha. even an educated person can lose thier job. my uncles an accountant and made redundant just this week and he's at the top of his [profesion

i think whats important is having the potential to stand back up and finding ur own way.

nadz123 · Jul 5th, 2009, 09:37 PM

agreed with the lady above.....

allah will always help...

PSquared · Jul 5th, 2009, 09:45 PM

If he has the potential and the drive to succeed...its all good.

Sara516 · Jul 5th, 2009, 09:53 PM

how many of you actually have a husband who hasn't worked for more than 6 months?

sadzzz · Jul 5th, 2009, 10:04 PM

^ that's slightly different sara. Im talking about the initial step when looking for a spouse (the rejecting accepting stage)

My husband has never been out of a job for too long, Alhamdulillah. But i know people who have been through it and it is really a hell of a time.

WhateverFloatsUrBoat · Jul 5th, 2009, 10:04 PM

guy needs to have a job, i mean he needs to be able to take care of his future wife...

sadzzz · Jul 5th, 2009, 10:05 PM

^ him having a job is just one minute bit of looking after a wife. I think (well i hope) there are other ways of keeping the wife happy.

sadzzz · Jul 5th, 2009, 10:06 PM

I guess in some ways, then its quite fair for the guys to ask for someone who can cook up a five star meal for him everyday

Muzna · Jul 5th, 2009, 11:05 PM

Let's put it this way......if he has a decent job, it shows that he is able to secure one in the future.

Kind of like "put your money where your mouth is" and show me.
Walk the walk; don't just talk the talk with a degree.

NaMaan · Jul 5th, 2009, 11:24 PM

Yea a man should have a job cauz women wants security and it comes with money. In simple words, women marry for money

redvelvet · Jul 5th, 2009, 11:27 PM

^ Women don't only marry for money. You can't generalize all of them. A guy's personality and other factors come into play as well.

But, yes, having a job is important because a couple needs to have some financial security in a marriage.

Muzna · Jul 5th, 2009, 11:28 PM

yes...some women do marry for money.

but most parents of a daughter will definitely look for money as a symbol of security.

NaMaan · Jul 5th, 2009, 11:32 PM

If a guy is broke but the shareefest person around, than still a woman won't marry him. At least not in today's world. But its only my observation, I might be wrong.