soni27

who do you think is behind all those our jawans acting like wannabes gangsters and acting like scumbugs?..whos behind ruingin our paksitani childrne in the highschools?..turning them to drink, use, disrespect and treat girlz like animals..to do drugs, fornicate an d go clubbing and do ayeshashi and not concentrate in studies and amoutn to nothing?..

well i saw the culprits being the west indian kidz..when i have kidz i am not ogign to let them have any west indian friends, espically if i have sons bcs that is the rasta athey will put them on that ill send them to jahanum..the rasta of behayeie begairthi and shamelessness..

..i have seen this first hand when i was in highschool and resent thier influence on our kidz..

..so when u were in highschool or are who did u see ruining some of our children and putting them to the path of doom?..

redvelvet

OMG! Do keep in mind that much of a child's influence comes from the HOME. I've seen that Desi parents can sometimes be inconsistent in their parenting and preaching and are often times not even aware of the conflicting messages that they send their children. A classic example is putting several restraints on daughters because it might "tarnish her reputatation".......and "log kya kahain gay?"........and "rishtay nahin milay gain".............but then they allow their sons more freedom with little accountability.

From my experience as a teacher (i've taught teenagers)....students who are more stable........have supportive parents who are not only involved in their education......but are also involved in their social life.......and make the effort to model positive communication and decision-making skills for their children. And this applies not only to the desi race...............but to students/children of various races.

To blame "other kids of other races" for corrupting your baby.........is like sending your kid the indirect message that he/she is exempt from responsibility of using common sense when making decisions.

Give your kids a strong Islamic/moral foundation and be involved in their life and they're more likely to stay on the right path. It is WRONG to teach your child that a particular race is "the culprit". Stereotyping won't solve anything.

Also..........over-protection of children is not healthy either. I understand that parents want to protect their kids. But there is a beauty in making your own mistakes.....because it provides you experience. And experience.....even negative experience.......teaches you a lesson that might not be learned from simply a warning. A certain amount of independence is healthy for children.......it can provide confidence and decision-making skills. OVER-PROTECTION can sometimes cause kids to feel stifled and in turn become rebellious and resentful toward parents.

I predict that this thread (based on the way that it is worded) is going to receive heated responses.

redvelvet

I would also like to add.......speaking from personal experience..........that kids (especially teens) get angry when their parents make comments like "You were never like this. It's your African America/Hispanic/Jewish/Italian/Hindu/Non-Muslim friends that are making you a bad person." Such a comment sends the message that the parents are invalidating the child's individuality and doubting his/her capability and intelligence when it comes to making decisions. Also, kids at that age, associate their peers with their own identity. And criticizing their peers can be seen as a personal attack.

Also, there are certain general behaviors that are associated with a various age groups. Teenagers.......regardless of race.........by nature........tend to be more curious......a bit rebellious, etc.

For example.....if your son/daughter in middle or high school has begun taking an interest in the opposite sex..........it doesn't mean that "another race".....is the "culprit". More likely the child is at that age....where hormones are going crazy.......and such behaviors and emotions are natural. Instead of blaming someone else.........parents should equip their children with a good Islamic and moral foundation from a young age..........and they should try to demonstrate Islamic values consistently. It's easy to look for a scapegoat.......but it takes hard work to take individual and parental responsibility.

ArchitectTrader

WOW
soni ji - with all respect to u - i think you are TOTALLY WRONG - youre blaming west indian children for the way your own are developing and behaving.................. i havent heard such a blatantly misguided and prejudiced idea in a long time ..

and redvelevt - i agree - stereotyping is absolutely wrong..

my opinion only - We as parents are to blame if our children follow a wrong path - but then we have responsibility to kids only so far beyond that it is theri life and their choices, and we can only influence as much as we can , and be supportive till they enter adulthood.... the other major element in the childrens development is theri environment which unfortunately is linked to social fabric, culture, and lesser degree, affluence.

I like this bit of redv response - it is so accurate -
Instead of blaming someone else.........parents should equip their children with a good Islamic and moral foundation from a young age..........and they should try to demonstrate Islamic ( and worldly ) values consistently. It's easy to look for a scapegoat.......but it takes hard work to take individual and parental responsibility.

soni27

i dont have any kidz YeT..i said If this happens bcs i have seen it happen in front of my eyes..its onlybeen couple years since iv been out of highschool..

..they are a disgusting influence on our youth..

ArchitectTrader

the challenges will come soni inshallah ..... i think at the moment you are just being totally judgemental on a narrow set of facts...
its a pretty broad statement to make if, as i suspect, you are around 20 or so, with no children.....

redvelvet

You don't even have kids yet and already you're searching for future culprits who might corrupt your precious unborn baby????????

they who? they who? Soni Ji..........Allah ne har banday ko aqal di hai. Aqal k saath zameer bhi diya hai.

And in Islam.........we're held accountable for our OWN mistakes. No matter how much another person.........or even the shaitan..........tries to misguide you........in the end it is UP TO YOU to use your brain and do what is right/good for you.

Your kid will encounter negative influences in school........in the work place..........on the streets..........on tv.............in books/magazines/radio/music/media....from his own nafs/shaitan.

So are you going to lock your kid up from the outside world in some cave that is far removed from civilization...........or will you do your job as a parent and equip your kid with guidance/confidence/common sense so that he or she'll be able to face life's temptations and challenges?

ArchitectTrader

chill RV..... he /she doesnt know what they are talking about yet.... but they will find out ....... itna ghusa???!!!!!!!!!!!

soni27

agir parents ka itna influence kaam karta unke bachohns par to meri ankohns ke samne apne hi paksitani fellow youth espeically larkohns ko me barbaad hotewe na dekhti us waqt..those who were ruined in highschool i see there life now a couple years after and it si sad..they families are crying they have bcome drug addicts, bums, disobey theyre parents, r not fit for society, cant get along with their own, cant stop their wayz to settle down, ayash, making thteir parents more and more parashan who r agin by the day..

one igrl i knew she was contaminated by disgusting west indian boy adn shse got humilated in fornt of whole community astagfirullah..adn when she got arranged marraige her husband left her cause she as already barbaad..even her peronsalityu was..tauba tauba..

hamaredesi famliies ko kia faida hua yahan ane ka jab unki ane wale naslein barbadi aur tabahi ke raste par chlare heh..

redvelvet

No, there's no ghussa.

It's just baffling and shocking when fundamental and logical points....don't register. To believe that another race is going to contaminate you is rather strong. There's no room of individual accountability in such thinking.

Also, Islam encourages us to take the middle path, not to follow extremes.

Sara516

i guess some people dont' understand being "cheeky"

ArchitectTrader

i know.... probably 90% of people reading this will think the same.... unfortunately there has to be a background for this thinking to occur in Soni .... i wonder what it is.
I have many west indian and african friends have lived and grown up with them thru the years and my children mix and play with all races and nationalities today..... to blame a race or a nationality specifically for the wrong decision of an individual ( pakistani or muslim or not ) ..... that is a monumnetally flawed concept.

redvelvet

^ I'm aware of the meaning of "cheeky." And I noticed that it is the poster's current state of mood.

I'm not addressing the mood of the poster. I was addressing the ideas in the post because they can carry serious consequences.

ArchitectTrader

hey RV ... you must be really really stupid , stupid, stupid, stupid to have missed the fact that Soni was just being cheeky and didnt really mean al those things he/she said in her post ...... i did and Im like the King of Stupido's !!!!!!!

Jaanwar

You make it sound like its a bad thing!

redvelvet

King of Stupidos,

One can be cheeky and still sincerely mean the illogical things they are saying. Yes we both must be tremendously, immensely, outrageously, extraordinarily, unfrickenbelievably STUPID to not notice Soni's cheeky mood. And here we are deterring the poor girl. Carry on, Soni!

ArchitectTrader

SORTED!!!
and yes i can be all those things when i want to be !!!!

ArchitectTrader

hey jaanwar
remind me to call on you to provide the real thinking man's input to any of my posts....
your welcome anytime!
geeza!!

Jaanwar

Cheers AT!

My comments normally have a stubble and sweaty bollocks. Thats what I call 'The Man's perspective'.

Anytime my man.

soni27

hahaaaaaaa..its so funny how rv gets so worked up on gs to deliver her long politically correct sermons..