clothesmad

ok, here goes, he loves me, in fact adores me, praises me, cares for me, makes me laugh in fact one might say a perfect partner (some friends actually say exactly that). WHy do i feel so suffocated?? his love is genuine but to the point of obsession. i feel i dont have my own life since being married to him, i cant do anything on my own cause he always wants to be around me. when we are at a social gathering our biggest arguments are that i didnt pay him enough attention. he has to have a say when i buy clothes, shoes, make up, everything- his reason " I care and show interest".

in arguments he can be unreasonable and when i finally corner him he pulls out the religous card, your the wife your supposed to do that.

my friends and family are whispering that he is a bully because i look terrified of him (true) never physically bullied me, emotionally yes, its always my fault always and he makes me feel like i was the one that was in the wrong (many times i am) but not always.

getting unhappier by the day, please give me your thoughts

hareem01

This is our story....the only difference is i'm more like your hubby. my hubby's parents think i'm a bully when in reality i'm not. lolz

Whatever your life gives you, take it.

Fbi786

You decided to marry the dude, now live with it, its a commitment you decided to take and in married life. theres something called sabr azwel where you gotta give to take.. hw long you been married for.. sometimes it depends if your newly married then .. dont worry his Currents actions will soon ware out ..cos new new shadi hai and uss se sheyd tum se Junoon hai ... thori porani honey do then you ll be complaining that he dont pay attention to me ..or maybe this was vice versa untill now its his turn to be junooni

clothesmad

sometimes it depends if your newly married then .. dont worry his Currents actions will soon ware out ..cos new new shadi hai and uss se sheyd tum se Junoon hai

thats what i thought at the beginning and thought it would decrease, but its been over 4 years now, no longer newly weds. i know its a commitment and i have to put up with it, but its begining to take its toll, its making me so miserable and im slowly starting to hate him......

FairyTale

Take a break from him. Go on vacation some where alone. Spend a month or so with your parents or any of sis's house. A break will help inshAllah... take it easy

geek

Do yourself a favor- register on this website and spend at least a couple of hours on it.

Facing the facts

This might help you make sense of it all.

chanda_kh

do shukrana nafal and give sadka!

arguments are tricky....once you know his pattern, avoid going that direction and get your point across using something visual as opposed to vague.

RupayHalwa

What would happen if you stood up to him firmly? Say I know you believe it's bcos u care and show interest, BUT I DON'T LIKE IT AT ALL SO PLEASE STOP.

And then go and do your own thing, without asking him.

What would happen then?

prototype

O larki...You are so ungrateful !

Mirch

That is just a band aid , it is not a permanent solution. She is looking for some permanent solution.

Permanent solution is intervention and marriage counseling.

Reha

He sounds suffocating...he needs to understand you arent going anywhere.

He has insecurities and needs to feel loved in order to get rid of them...but he also needs marriage counseling.

Thats not to say you dont do that...but he needs A LOT of it in order to drive away his feelings of insecurity, jealousy, OTP behavior.

carpool

Know clearly what is right and what is wrong and then have effective communication with him. Let him know u need ur space. Eitehr by action or by talk.

Make your ground and stick to it. Maybe tell him you need a gal's nite out a certain day of the week (u can go shpping, dining or watever) n then do tat. try to take time out for urself n eventually he'll realized or get in the habit of giving u space.

If u dont talk to him chances are u'll start hating him (which u said u laready have) n feel more suffocated. It's now or never.

Talk!! and ACT!!!!

RupayHalwa

Yes, indeed!

bebo

This is not love and normal , its obsession. Obsessive behaviour stems from variety of underline psychological issues. You need to talk to him and if necessary seek professional help.
Most people will not understand what you are going through and tell you that you should be thankful for such a caring and loving husband. It is ignorence on their part since psychological issues are often dismissed in our culture.

McPendo

So leave his loving ass! And find a person who takes your for granted then you can complain about how he takes you for granted! Gal thahiyon bandi jadon "meh" nu dilon gawaiyeh- bulleh shah

Straight_up

Hmmm, think about this: does he ever (for short periods of time) stop paying attention to you? Or showing extreme interest in all aspects of your life? If so, how does that make you feel? If not, then I truly think he doesn't know any better way of being with you, he must think that's how he is supposed to be.

Another thing, some men freak out if they feel like their women can actually breath on their own, she is apparently supposed to be completely dependent on him so they stick to them more to ensure they have the feeling of watching over them. If your husband is one of those, then my sympathies.

The Voice

y do women constantly complain about their husbands?

McPendo

ahahahaahahah!

Little Princess

Its just that men are not upto their expectations thats all .
:whistling

The Voice

and women always are up to our expectations?
or maybe we're just really tolerant