PyariCgudia

If my future husband makes me go through THAT, I'm going to thrash him with some random chair I pick up from the nikkah hall.

Publicly.

CuteGurl

haha i agree

sadzzz

totally

mistral

Ok...I don't get it. Explain please? I thought the rukhsati, from an Islamic point of view, is essentially the sending off of the bride and groom together so they can consummate the marriage. It can happen soon after the nikah or a while after if the couple has something they need to accomplish - like studies or landing employment - before living together as man and wife. So eventually, there's a Rukhsati after every Nikah...unless the couple decides to get a divorce after the Nikah in one of those arrangements where there's going to be a years long gap between Nikah and Rukhsati.

Or do I have that wrong?

McPendo

Thats why you'll probably [{("not")}] get ehmm..!

snazzy

i didn't think rukhsati was really an "islamic" thing, it's more of a cultural thing. It's the sending off of the bride yes, but i think it always used to be the same day as the nikka, just a few hours afterwards. People now have made it a day separate from the marriage, and do the nikka months before so the couple can start seeing each other in an islamic way. But after the nikkah, you are married, ruksati is just an extra celebration day. I personally do not like separating them, because people tend to make the nikkah (the true official wedding in our religion) minor and the 'farewell' = rukhsati a bigger celebration, whereas it should be the opposite. It makes the nikkah anticlimactic.

McPendo

^ its an Indian tradition. Even wearing of the red dress! There is no such thing like that in Islam. Once the nikkah is done its "gotcha girl"

mistral

^@Snazzy - Yeah I understand what you're saying. The separate production we've made of it isn't Islamic, it's cultural.

McPendo

lol im not snazzy^

snazzy

by indian do you mean hindu? Please don't equate the two. i think in hindu tradition they call it bidaai/vidaai (give away). I thought rukhsati is an urdu word.

mistral

I was referring to Snazzy's post.

McPendo

Well prior to partition hindus and muslims mingled happily together and they shared most of their customs. My grandmother still has her sindoor when she got married she had to apply it and she's Muslim. In Islam all you gota do is nikkah the bidai or rukhsati or whatever is secondary. Customs such as putting mehndi in the palms of the bride with Paan leaves and then all the ladies walk up and touch the mehndi its a weird custom but hindoos do it too. Ok the throwing of rice, wearing of red dress doing upton before mangani. We share a lot with hindoos!

Lusi

Why? What if the two ppl are living in different states and can't get rukhsatified at that time for school or whatever?

McPendo

^ PCG's situation is different. Imagine a bomb ticking under the Vatican on the time of the conclave Just kidding PCG.

Aisha Dubaiwali

PyariCgudia

Lusi, then what is the point of the nikkah then, if they can't live together for whatever reasons? (ex. schooling, or jobs, or immigration).

Once you are married, you are responsible for one another and you should be living together. Period. I can understand if its an immigration issue, and you get the nikkah done and then your partner has to wait until he/she can come over. But the Rukhsati can be done back home, and the marriage can be consummated as soon as the nikkah is read.

But this other nonsense - like oh, i'm here, and my spouse is there, and for what?? Either get married, and live together and be there for each other, or just hold the nikkah off until you can.

Simple.

It's too unreasonable to get someone married off and then they can't even be with their spouse.

Concept of Rukhsati is not Islamic. In Islam, the NIKKAH = Wedding. So once the nikkah is done, you are free to run off with that person, live with them, have their babies, and the whole kitten kaboodle.

mistral

^Ok. So you're referring to Rukhsati as it's done in our culture. Where it's turned into this big production separate from the Nikah itself? Because yeah, that's not Islamic. But the word, I think, literally means send off and it's the equivalent of the Shari'a concept of Zifaf. It's supposed to happen after the nikah, where the bride and groom go off together to start their married life. It's not supposed to be this whole separate event as it's turned into.

Little Princess

I hate the nikaah's withotu rukhsati....i'd want to hv my rukhsati right after the nikaah..no waiting for a huge celebration.

mall

my dear, sometimes circumstances are such u HAVE to have nikah.. due to visa reasons or whatever. nothin wrong abt it!

Shak killS

i agree with PCG here, if someone just cant be bothered to stay together anywhere after the nikkah, they do it only to save some bucks for travelling and just for visa purposes. visa can be arranged after the nikkah and rukhsati, visa is not the pre condition for rukhsati!!