zobia

why is this such a big deal if some nice rishta people chose your sister or your cousin over you?

if they are nice people, and they like my sister over me then i will certainly ask my mother to go for it.

Allah SWT sabar ka phel daita hai. there is nothign to be mad about or hold a grudge against my sister since you get married on the name of ALLAH SWT so you must also blindly trust HIM (SWT)

Bint_e_Naeem

Some girls might get offended especially if they saw the first person first & THEN saw the other sister/cousin & said we like her better. That's being a bit judgmental & thoughtless I guess on the guy's side's part.

No one should hold a grudge against the other girl involved as it's kismet but it might make her wonder as to what does the other person has that the first person lacks in & it can end up lowering a person's self confidence as well.

PyariCgudia

Guy comes for the purpose of seeing Girl A, then sees Girl B in the same household --> is turned on more by Girl B and then asks for HER hand instead.

And you ask Girl A to be f'ing grateful? For what? That her sis/cousin is gonna marry some judgemental swine who focuses on bodily beauty as oppose to the human being? And to top it off, has no sense of style at all? I mean, the bloody guy could just come over pretending to come calling to visit the aunty, check both of them out, then go and declare that he's there for Girl B, so Girl A never feels slighted in the first place.

He's going to basically make Girl A family, even though he's not marrying HER. And that's how he wants to start off a relationship?

Girl B, if such a thing happens, would be wise to refuse the guy entirely, because you KNOW there will be drama later.

Aisha Dubaiwali

I know what brought on this thread! lol!

I don't mind really, I will be glad if someone rejected me and married my sisters coz I don't need rishtey anymore! Not interested!

MIAinVA

Its degrading and humiliating.

dildirani

Like I said in the other thread, it can create resentment and rifts within the family.

redvelvet

U know what would make it WORSE?

IF.......one sister had genuine feelings/interest in the guy. That would hurt more.

And several months ago, there was a thread where a girl had posted that she had feelings for her cousin.........jokes were made linking their names over the years............and the guy and his mom turned her down..........and went for her sister.

Neither the guy's mom.......nor the girl's mom/younger sister........could understand why she was feeling uncomfortable/hurt. And the guy and his mom were offended that she was acting a bit out of spirits.....and encouraged her own mother and sister to give her the cold shoulder. In the end......the girl's entire family could see that the guy was a jerk because he was inconsiderate person overall with no respect even for elders. So..........they dropped him.


But.........even one's own parents might not always be mindful about the sensitivity of a situation.

dildirani

My friend has never shown an interest in any of the guys which came forward. Their mother would refuse the rishta everytime this happened. It happened with every rishta, which makes it very odd. The older sister began to resent the sister so much she refused to get married and said to the mum, that get the younger one married, no one wants me. Even know on the engagement, she does not want the younger sister to dress up as much.

If this was to happen constantly over 4 years, it would bring down one's self confidence naturally.

bigdaddy

Survival of the fittest is a law of nature. Why fight it?

hitchki

Good for you. You are great. Congrats.

zobia

nope, not your blog. its a story of every "khandan"

btw, i thought your sister is not old enough to get married.

zobia

your point is valid. but if the family seems nice then why not.
yaar kisi aik ki to ho. wo chali jayee gee to kisi or ki bari bhi ayee gee

zobia

lol. you making it sound as if the one who is letting her sister get married before her, is giving a huge "qurbani"

i think we all need to be relaxed

Aisha Dubaiwali

my sisters are 18! old enough! and it might not be my blog entry but its weird to see u reply in my blog and then start a thread here zobz

zobia

lol yeah its weird. but i have seen the similar situation in my family

snazzy

zobia, u may be a secure confident girl to not let it phase you. Or you may be the younger sister wanting to marry the guy! haha just kidding... it's like the older sister always has expected to get married first, and then she has to deal with the realization that it's not going to happen. Also, rejection in any form is hard to take, and it's the worst when they reject publicly and go to a person that you know- i.e. they liked them better than you. I've heard of people rejecting the girl and asking for the brother! not in that way ppl...

my cousin wasn't really rejected but the rishta people obviously were more interested in her brother for their own daughter...my aunt was like "oh so my daughter's not good enough for your son, but your daughter's good enough for mine???" (well not to her face lol, she just brushed them off). which was weird too cuz my cousin was just starting med school so he obviously wasn't going to be financially independent for like another 4 years... i think aunties just see the MD and the *rishta* lights go off in their heads.

Mabrook

its a mother's job that if something like this happens repeatedly she should keep other sisters out of sight. but it is insulting n very improper thing to do. i knew of guys who said it to their wive's face"k hum ne tumhari behan ko pehlay daikha hota tu...." how can u even say this to ur own wife.
however i'm myself like you Zobia i'll ask my mom to marry her first.

pinklove

^um wow..guys like that sadden me!

i remember going to see a rishta for my chachoo when i was like 5 and i still remember how we went to the girl's house and our family asked if the girl had any siblings..she had 2 sisters but her parents said how they weren't home. a few minutes later my mom took me upstairs in the house to use the bathroom and we saw a woman peek out from her room. my mom's like who are you?? she was like "main (my chachi) ki behen hoon"..apparently some families make their single daughters stay out of sight when rishtas for the older daughters come.

libranrulz

I think its similar to how you can't date your frnd's ex in the same way you are not suppose to ask for the girl's sister or cousin. But then again in real world people do date their frnd's exes and people do ask for the sister.