Husband Rules

muniabegum · Nov 2nd, 2009, 08:59 PM

The Man Rules
Atlast a guy has taken the time to write this all down
the guys' side of the story.
( must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear
the Rules From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.

Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes or No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
And if you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus didnot need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question that you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer that you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as FOOTball, CRICKET
or CARS.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape.Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

i got it in e-mail n guess maybe not 100% but 99.9% is currect......hehe

NJMasti · Nov 2nd, 2009, 09:24 PM

^huh?

Who has time to read all that?

skip skip ... hopping away ... bye bye

redvelvet · Nov 2nd, 2009, 09:52 PM

Men are NOT mind readers.

Well, DUH, of course they're not. You'd need a MIND to do that.

Learn to work the toilet seat.

If you've learned to put it up.....then learn to put it down.

You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.

We ARE big girls. You're ego is going UP......time to bring it down.

Crying is blackmail.

Only if it's working. If it's working........you're pretty weak then. Or too gullible.

Ask for what you want.

Ask........tell........demand..........tomato..... ...tomaato. Neither guarantees delivery.

Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!

Yikes, you poor souls. Not the brightest tools in the shed eh?

Yes or No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

Saying "No" to all questions that reflect your strongest desires will work just fine then.

Come to us with a problem if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

The problem is YOU........girlfriends to kya........the world will sympathize

In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

Khush Fahmi.....Khush Fahmi. Your minds don't last that long. Make it 7 seconds

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

Just say from the get-go........which way you meant your comment. Or learn to respond clearly.

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.

Asking.....won't work. Telling......won't work. Threatening......PERFECT

Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

Even commercials of hot women? Or cars? Okay.

I am in shape.Round IS a shape!

And lying flat is also a shape.......when round becomes unhealthy and deadly.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

You want a REAL CAMPING EXPERIENCE. Forget the couch. Sleep on the lawn.

redvelvet · Nov 2nd, 2009, 09:56 PM

Christopher Columbus didnot need directions and neither do we.

YUP.......and he sure made it to India didn't he?

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

Men can't apply concepts to multiple areas? Sad!

If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

Scratch away!!!!! But do we need to see it? No! If it's offensive.....can it be kicked?

If you ask a question that you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer that you don't want to hear.

You must have misunderstood the question then.

You have enough clothes.

You have more than enough money. Now buy more clothes.

You have too many shoes.

"The more to hit you with,".....said the big bad wolf.