kakaballi

I'm living at a place where it is hard (maybe for me) to find Pakistani girls and would continue to live here for the coming few years. The local girls here are mostly nice but would never contemplate living in Pakistan where I intend to move eventually (in 3,4 years time). This has kept me from getting 'close' to any of them.

It would be hard for me to find someone in Pakistan when I move back, approaching mid thirties. Things didn't work out with 'prospective' girls before I came here and now I am mulling over letting my parents find a rishta for me! Is that a good idea? How effective are distance online/telephonic meetings if they do find someone?

NJMasti

- not a very serious reply - but still - just wondering, why would you want to ruin a girls life - here or there? Reading from your past posts - the impression is that you are a player. Beats me - if a player can play well - then why the need of parents interference? Why do men turn into boyz when it's about marriage - that they need "adult supervision"...

kakaballi

You started well, but I am not looking for replies from someone who,

1. judges people by misinterpreting a couple of posts,

2. keeps acrimony in her heart for weeks ( I had to dig back to see what tripped you cuz i don't post in life1 often),

3. thinks a 'playgirl' is being 'smart',

4. does not read before replying.


Thanks.

Monk

NJMasti

lol - hey don't take this too personal and kill the character "kakaballi"

1. we know each other only through some posts - but our "character" in those post stay the same through out - so ye it could definately be misinterpreted of your "true" character - sovyy ji -

2. Even MORE LOL - no way - I have no ill feeling about you and I did not keep anything in my heart - so it was a waste of your time going back digging on those posts

3.

4. Hey this time I swear I read your post

Decent 6Chora

If you plan to live in Pakistan, I'd suggests that you marry someone in Pakistan. Mid 30s is not taboo age to get married in fact most of the guys get married around 30/32 anyway.

kakaballi

^ Yes, that's the idea but the question is that while I'm here and someone suggests a girl, is telephonic/online communication effective in judging compatibility?

Decent 6Chora

Are you looking to pass time or what? If you are serious, ask your relatives in Pakistan to find someone for you. I have seen over years that telephonic/online communication almost account for nothing in understanding (dont use judging...what are you credentials??) someone.

kakaballi

^ I am not judging the person, just compatibility. Its not the issue with only me, but a couple of girls suggested some time ago by my ex-colleagues in Pakistan also wanted to have some sort of communication before the thing is forwarded to the respective families.

So, what I get from you is the it online/long distance communication doesn't help much and I should rely on descriptions from my family/friends. Right?

Little Princess

Try to find someone in ur area..but tell shuruwaat se he tht u plan on moving back to pak..if they r ok with it n things work out then good...n side by side ask u r parents to search too.

kakaballi

^ searching here is sort of impossible as I am not in touch with any Pakistani family. Having family search in Pakistan is no issue but the issue is whether a long distance communication helps in ascertaining compatibility. Should she and I go with our descriptions from the referrer or should I wait till I go back?

zobia

why do u want to move back to pakistan?
if you want to live there permanently, then its better to marry a girl from there and yeah arranged marriages are always less hectic then tele-online ones

PSquared

I think if you plan on marrying in Pakistan, you are better off finding someone that lives there.

As far as online communication or telephones for judging compatibility...you have to do something to get to know a little bit about these girls. Whatever means is necessary or available, use it.

Its an investment in your own future.

PyariCgudia

Can you make it over to Pakistan for one or two trips?

Why not look once you're back in Pakistan? It takes like 6-12 months to find a suitable rishta, especially if your entire family is helping you out.

X2

kakay

so lets make it simple, have people in Pak find some prospects for you, find out about them, then go to Pakistan for a few weeks, meet the girls, you may click with someone enough that you are sure about it, or you may find someone very interesting, and then when you go back keep in touch, but set a timeframe to make a decision..or to extend the timeframe.

distant communication/interaction works, but if you have met her in person even for one or two times before it would make it easier i think.

early 30s is not too late at all, I mean most guys get married late 20's anyways, most ppl I know were married in the 26-32 age range, some older, some younger, so if this approach i noted does not work, just wait until u move back and then the long distance thing will not be a factor.

diwana

It is true dilemma for anyone who is not in touch with similar people around.

I am not sure yet what type of 'compatibility' is being sought here?

It needs to be defined.

Culture, religion, language, physical looks, age, education, perhaps job, mental level, general ideas of life? Even political views some think of a big issue, which is mostly a silly issue.

Not everyone gets all of these.

Even people who spend some time together before marriage may become totally incompatible AFTER marriage.

I have witnessed great successful marriages even after few conversations over phone (or none whatsoever communication) if family found otherwise 'compatible' person.

If someone asks and emphasizes too much on compatibility, either the person is just afraid or is not ready to commit and be flexible. In both situations, the person is not yet ready!

kakaballi

Because that’s where my home and heart is.

Yeah, that’s the idea.

This is what’s coming out now.

Compatibility in terms of at least expectations.

Thanks guys. Might just wait till I move back. Its just that I met this girl here with a pure heart and lovely personality. We clicked from the start but eventually had to part because I cannot live out of Pakistan and she cannot live there. It could as well be that I am afraid of commitment a diwana suggested.

AzJaKa

Where do you live?

~Iraj~

its with mostof times that one cannot find the right person by ones own self. searching for the person having particular traits would be easier with parents help.

MIAinVA

Not really unless you're looking for a kamsin 18 year old.
In fact, you'll be able to find better girls, in terms of education and maturity. I would recommend waiting till you go back to Pakistan. Good luck!!