bbbb

thanks for your suggestions

diwana

Not enough info.

Controlling in what sense?

Is he very submissive to his mother?

If she likes you then no worries.

Just 'control' her with your nice attitudes, she may beat him up for you too. ;-)

TLK

I like what diwana said in his last line .. go with it

mistral

Without knowing details, I'd say you have to undergo some serious reflection. What is it precisely that bothers you and ask yourself HONESTLY if it's truly controlling behavior or if it's you perhaps reading more into the situation than there really is.

Is she a my way or the highway type person and the son follows lock step or is it simply a matter of her wanting to know about every aspect of her son's life. If it's the latter, then that can be dealt with...it will just take time and patience and kindness. If it's the former...that can be dealt with as well and it also requires time and patience and kindness. But it's usually MUCH more difficult and requires more consideration on your part in terms of whether or not you WANT to deal with it and whether or not you are capable of dealing with it.

Did that make any sense at all?

McPendo

May God be with you!

Decent 6Chora

chalooo eik aur aa gaee apnee saas ka rona lai ker .....


aaah girls, tum loog bhee bus .. pehley tu "current saas" ka rona hota tha, aab eik naya trend yee ho gaya hai k "future saas" ka rona bhee shuru ho gaya hai


Lerkee khuda ko manoo and stop thinking all this. Unless you mix with her, live with her, its very hard to know her real nature. Give her a chance. Dont go to that house with pre-occupied mind.

bbbb

.

bbbb

I don't appreciate your comment, I am not crying about my situation here. Please leave if you have nothing constructive to say.

Decent 6Chora

aaah, I C, you are only expecting sympathatic replies? What is "constructive" ? saas ko control kerney k totkey are constructive? --- I just said it go to your house with open mind and not pre occupied

bbbb

I never got that impression from your first post. You were clearly mocking me there. I am not expecting any preferrable "totkay's", give your judgements a break!

Decent 6Chora

off course i was mocking

bbbb

Thanks pendo sahab, I agree !!

bbbb

I guess decent 6chora, is not so decent after all!

mistral

To some degree, all parents are "controlling." They can't help it because they have been in control of their children's lives for so long. It's kind of the natural order of things and most likely, we're going to be the same way with our kids. And there's nothing wrong with it really. Parents have years of wisdom and experience to offer and a lot of times, what's seen as "nosiness" and "controlling behavior" is oftentimes genuine concern and good advice that we're sometimes too stubborn to see because we're trying to be "independent." That said, there are also instances where it's extreme and it gets into "my way or the highway" territory which is healthy for nobody.

If he has his own ideas and he actually follows through with them, then I'd say you're probably worrying too much...especially if the two of you are going to have your own place. You say you've agreed with her in times past...Which means that she's got some genuine good advice to offer and you're open to hearing what she has to say. Another good point.

Bread crumbs on the floor? Did she actually say that or are you giving an example to show how specific/rigid she is? Because everybody has certain things they are rigid about. Just as an example, I don't mind clutter. But if there's so much as a microcscopic spot of grime in my bathroom, I am not a happy camper. Clutter is ok. Filth is unacceptable. We all have certain things that must be JUST SO in order for our lives to run smoothly. It's not good, it's not bad...it's just human nature.

zobia

if respect is not earned, then its a delusion, and delusion is short lived
be nice to her and her wisdom. inshaALLAH you will do fine.