Domestic Abuse - Page 2

Decent 6Chora · Nov 4th, 2009, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blue_silver

Actually it's comments/attitudes that these women are pathetic and asking for it which is what keeps them back.
...........it really is one of the most terrifying things to do - stand up to an abuser, but once you do it, you feel finally feel free of these psychos

Sorry to hear about your situation but you are just stressing the point I made. Due to whatever, girls keep taking it.

ChicaGurl · Nov 4th, 2009, 01:10 PM

the guyz who pick on their partners may think they all high and mighty but the truth is the person who hits someone weaker den themself is a coward.can i just add 1 more thing its not only the case of physical abuse there also cases like mental abuse and sexual abuse which goes on in most marriages or relationships and needs to be stopped.

Pareezay · Nov 4th, 2009, 01:11 PM

Sooo if the woman is driving a man insane verbally, he cannot do the same back but should resort to physical abuse? Sorry but that is exactly the kind of mentality that makes men hit their wives.
If she's verbally abusing you, do it back if you can't control your anger.. but noone, and I mean noone should be allowed to raise their hands and hit their spouse. It's a sign of weakness, not some sort of strength, and there's absolutely no justification for that behavior. Any man who thinks he needs to raise his hand in order to get a message across or prove a point needs help.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Monk

If we are talking about men hitting women then we all know it can't more wrong.
But there are situations where we see emotional abuse going on. Or girls are treated with less then they deserve. In those situation there could be more to the story then guy being offender.

I think even in our community we can/should use marriage counseling.

I know one of my Friend's friend, she is having so much problem with her husband. To the point where she is wanting a divorce. And she see strange dream about her hubby all the time.

Funny thing is her hubby is regarded as an angel among the ppl who know him.
However I do know that girl being a deis do some things which can drive any man insane.

Monk · Nov 4th, 2009, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pareezay

Sooo if the woman is driving a man insane verbally, he cannot do the same back but should resort to physical abuse? Sorry but that is exactly the kind of mentality that makes men hit their wives.
If she's verbally abusing you, do it back if you can't control your anger.. but noone, and I mean noone should be allowed to raise their hands and hit their spouse. It's a sign of weakness, not some sort of strength, and there's absolutely no justification for that behavior. Any man who thinks he needs to raise his hand in order to get a message across or prove a point needs help.

Thats exactly what my point was. Hittin a women is sissy/wrong and every thing.
I was talking about women not being happy for their husbands not treating them like princesses.

Now that could have more reasons then guy being an idiot.

Pareezay · Nov 4th, 2009, 01:18 PM

Mhmmm.

Monk · Nov 4th, 2009, 01:20 PM

MIAinVA · Nov 4th, 2009, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tammy8604

I totally agree with this. Our society produces housewives who live off their husbands so they can't really leave their husbands regardless of how they treat them. And even if they do, life sucks without a husband since very few women get re-married and most of them don't have any qualification or job experience or skills which will enable them to be financially stable.
If you ask me, women have done this to themselves. They have made themselves worthless really.

So women who don't work/earn money are worthless??? Wow! So, the mother who decides to stay home to give quality time to her kids and raise them with all her attention & love is worthless?

Monk · Nov 4th, 2009, 02:01 PM

He is not really calling women worthless. He wants to empower them in a fincially productive way.

MIAinVA · Nov 4th, 2009, 02:07 PM

It sucks to be a working mom, let me tell you.... it totally sucks, its physically & mentally draining. I would stop working if I could, but I can't afford not to work. Plus it would give some stupid men an excuse to call me worthless

Monk · Nov 4th, 2009, 02:09 PM

ha
Calm down. Women ,if they want, should be able to stay home. Hubby should make enough.

MIAinVA · Nov 4th, 2009, 02:12 PM

^LOL, no worries .... I'm just ranting. Have a project going on at work and kind of tired these days due to me & DD being sick a lot

tammy8604 · Nov 4th, 2009, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MIAinVA

So women who don't work/earn money are worthless??? Wow! So, the mother who decides to stay home to give quality time to her kids and raise them with all her attention & love is worthless?

What I meant was that men are much more controlling in our society. Why is it that most people want to have sons rather than daughters in our society? Could it be that women are worth less than men? Why is it that women are scared to get divorced even if her husband is abusive? Why are women taking so much **** from their inlaws and are willing to live with all of them? Women here don't even consider verbal abuse as an abuse. Most women only seek divorce if their husbands beat them. They let them boss them around and treat them like **** and don't have any decision makign power.
It's because they are too scared to be independent.
Why is it that its so easy for a man to find a second wife even after a divorce? Its because he has the capability to provide shelter and food for her.
How many women have had second marriages after divorce or after becomign a widow? Very few.
Again whats the reason?

tammy8604 · Nov 4th, 2009, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Monk

ha
Calm down. Women ,if they want, should be able to stay home. Hubby should make enough.

And what if he doesn't?
And sometimes wives can earn more than husbands too. Maybe then he should stay home since shes makign enough?

Decent 6Chora · Nov 4th, 2009, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MIAinVA

It sucks to be a working mom, let me tell you.... it totally sucks, its physically & mentally draining. I would stop working if I could, but I can't afford not to work. Plus it would give some stupid men an excuse to call me worthless

:thandey pani wala icon:

Monk · Nov 4th, 2009, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tammy8604

And what if he doesn't?
And sometimes wives can earn more than husbands too. Maybe then he should stay home since shes makign enough?

Dont ask me questions I am not Einstein.. u know...

MIAinVA · Nov 4th, 2009, 02:48 PM

IMO its not all about being financially dependent.
Its just the way our society is and the way women are brought up in our culture, we are more scared of izzat and log kiya kahein gai than our happiness

. And men don't marry widows, cuz they want a kanwari larki. Why go for used goods when you can buy new (I know cheap, but I couldn't find any other term)

And IMO men do not abuse cuz they think women are worthless, most of the time the abuse is to make the men feel better about themselves, its their own insecurities and psychological issues, they feel powerful when they hurt others.... such men are cowards IMO. Just my 2 cents.

Monk · Nov 4th, 2009, 02:49 PM

next time add an "H" in IMO

blunt · Nov 4th, 2009, 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PyariCgudia

True story after true story I hear of domestic abuse. I am seeing that even on here, people admit it happened to them publicly.

What makes a guy turn into an abuser?? I mean, our deen and iman emphasizes so much on respect for women, and yet, why are so many desi guys abusers?

And its never the ones you think will do it, either!

our deen iman also imposes duties and obligations on wives so if they make it a habit to ignore them the husband can very easily loose his mind.a desi guy can also become abusive if the wife is wasting his hard earned cash.
so a wife's behaviour and atitude contributes handsomly in guys becoming abusive.
tali aik hath sai nai baja karti.