Seef

Only discriminatory part is there'll probably be less blood coming out of my sons.

Bint_e_Naeem

Hopefully there won't be any need for any of this.

PSquared

Sex education is generally introduced in junior high, sometimes earlier depending upon the school, area and curriculum.

I was not allowed to take Health class in junior high and stayed out of all reproductive chapters until junior year of high school. It was my parents' choice and they made the principal aware of this.

I think awareness at an earlier age is necessary otherwise children are confused and end up making bad choices.

I think a good age is 11 or 12 but that is just a guess...Im not a mommy yet.

Niksik

I will never ever ever everrrr talk to my kids about this, never ever ever


I want my mommyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

sadzzz

colourful Eyes...i agree kids are kids and should remain that way.. having said that, it doesnt mean they should not be educated about things they should be aware of.

I have a nearly 3 year old daughter, and i also wonder the same thing. She often asks questions that i think are embarrassing, but then think she ought to know whats right and wrong. I just dont quite know how to approach the situation myself... ofcourse she's prob a little bit too young to understand... but im still thinking of teaching her a little bit because there are older boys around all the time.. and if the start touching her in places she ought to know what to do and say..

sadzzz

PSquared, my parents were the same. I didnt go to sex education classes in grade 6, but when they were mandatory in year 7, I did go.

But im more concerned about kids younger than that.. kids who dont quite know whats right and wrong. What if an adult or even another child touches them or tries doing things to them... and they dont know what to do? At what age should you educate your child?

Sahar02

Many girls are having their periods b age 8/9 these days. I'd talk to them before that.

Also, it's not the kind of talk that happens once. You address issues related to sexuality in different ways and different ages, depending on when and what seems appropriate. Don't expect the talk you had at age 8 to be on the kid's mind at age 14.

pyaare

i think 8 or 9 is too early, my daughter is 9 and i would not even consider discussing sex for a good few years....the thought of it scares me, no wonder our parents never discussed it with us.

i will discuss things like menstruation with her in the near future, she already knows what the boundaries are between boys and girls and naturally only has friends that are girls.

i think teaching children about being touched by others is something that needs to be drilled into them from age 4 onwards.
its important as parents that we maintain a healthy relationship with our kids so they have no problem communicating any worries or concerns with us.

Slickstar

My family is pretty conservative and pretty much anything that undertoned sex was squashed. Even a kiss on screen my parents would change the channel.

However, I wouldn't take it to such an extreme with my kids but I wouldn't really have the discussion either. I think education system along with the course of nature is enough to understand what is going on .

Kikoy

I would say you should at least alert your daughter about menstruation around age 9. I did have a talk with mine at that time, but she was already aware from school. And I dont mean the girls, but the teachers had a talk with the class.

I kept meaning to have the actual talk around 11/12, but somehow kept putting it off. Just about 10 days ago, there was a girl on radio who described how she got pregnant age 15 and aborted. Tried not to tell her parents, but unfortunately the abortion was back door and she was severely infected. Eventually she had to tell her parents and now she had to have her uterus removed. She was crying at how she loves children but cannot have one of her own ever. Also in the same program, another teenager described all the horrors of what happens in school. I was shocked. That same evening I talked to my daughter (now 12). She seemed to understand everything so it was not too bad. But yeah the teenagers revelations did shock her. All in all it went pretty well and I am glad I finally did it.

Sahar02

My own experience:

In 5th grade (around age 10-11), the school gave parents a notice that Sex ed would be taught in Science class. It was part of the curriculum, but parents could opt their kids out of they want. My parents gave us permission.
It wasn't too big a deal. My science teacher insisted on keeping the whole class together, not splitting up boys and girls. There were obviously awkward moments, but nothing too bad. It didn't make me want to *do* anything at all, I guarrantee it.
Now I was 10, so while I understood better how the reproductive system worked (kissing lying down was not the same thing as sex apparently), I still left with some misunderstandings (for example, I thought once boys had an erection, it was permanent). These things make me laugh now. I do remember a couple times after the unit, that when a girl got mad at a boy, she was accused of having "PMS". Boys start that blame game pretty early it seems.

At some point after this my mother had a very brief talk about menstruation with me. We never talked about sex.

We had another sex ed unit as part of health class in 7th grade (around age 13). At this point I was at an all girls school, so the focus was on the female reproductive system, menstruation, and also how to avoid pressures and make responsible decisions involving sexuality and health.

What stands out most is 9th grade biology class, in which we watched "The Miracle of Life" video. That gives you a full shot of a woman giving birth. I think that kept most of us abstinent for a while.


Oh and my cousin's little boy has been finding out "what feels nice" since he was a year old or so. He often reaches into his diaper/pants and she has to tell him to stop. Now that he's four, the pediatrician says to tell him that if he wants to do that he needs to do it in private, that there is a certain time and place for it. My cousin was horrified, but even her mother (the nani) agreed that that is the way to handle it!



Anyway, I think it's most important that this is not just a one time conversation or lesson. The desires, pressures, and questions change and grow as a child grows older. It should be a continued discussion that can begin quite young.

funguy

Thank you all for some really useful discussion and sharing of personal experiences. it's really nice to have a useful discussion in Life1.

To those who say 6,7, 8 is too young and we should let kids stay kids I think they are misguided and too naive in their thinking. If we as muslims are required to teach about religion at an early age which means 6 or 7 is an age where the kid starts to comprehend concepts, then why not throw in a bit of physical education there too?

Bint_e_Naeem

^ Ewwwwww. Ewwwwww. Ewwwwwww. No offence. Just couldn't help it.

But this just proves that kids are not oblivious to things as how we make them out to be. Awareness from a very young age is necessary. The whole thing is natural in a way & parents shouldn't hesitate. We can either make our kids learn from us parents or from the school mates or friends & let them commit horrible mistakes.

This brings me to another point. What about older siblings having such discussions with younger siblings. I have a 10 year old brother & on my last visit to parent's house. I talked a little bit about this matter. It seemed like he did know some things but def. had confusions.

NJMasti

I think sex ed is extremely difficult if it's the parents teaching. A class room setting is ideal.

For me, sex ed at home while growing up was ===> You should not have any guy friends, and start wearing longer skirts! <==== That was sex ed for me

Mamaof3

I you leave al the talk fo until the child is 10 or older then its way, way too late. They will already have learned far more from the playground than you will ever want to impart and they will have much less respect for you since you've delayed the talk for so long.

If you start the talk, keeping it casual and matter-of-fact from the time that they're 2 years old, then they will listen to you, trust you and respect the teaching that you impart to them.

pyaare

see i wouldnt know where to start..the though of having this talk with my daughter depresses me...exactly where do you start and how????

I just wish it was as innocent as it was in my school days..i remember being horrified when there was talk in the playground that every parent has had sex and babies were a direct result of sex...it shattered my image of a big pile of baskets in the hospital where mum and dad would go and pick up a baby...i wanted to shoot the person who told me...i was horrfied that my parents would partake in such indecency and more so when i remembered that maulana sahib had kids.

NJMasti

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