Lady Melancholy

When you are younger, if parents hit you with sticks or whatever and then they tell you that they are doing it because they are doing it out of love and for our betterment, does that make it right? Can you ever forget abusive parents or one parent?

PyariCgudia

It was common culture for them. It's not right, but it's slowly disappearing, thank God.

My mom hit me so much when I was a kid. She's forgotten all about it. If I remind her, she gets all sarcastic "Oh bhara zulm hua hai, na?"



How annoying when they selectively choose not to remember it.

mama ki dua

^
lol I saw the same to my mom

To be honest hitting someone in my opinion is a way to express their frustration. I know it's wrong but what can you do? As a child if you get hit maybe you forget but if it never ends ofcourse you can't blank that out.

tammy8604

Hitting is never right. Just because a parent is doing it doesn't make it "okay" and out of love. Abuse is abuse.

NJMasti

lol !

I agree that it's the culture... our parents hit us and look how good our generation turned out.

I look at the overall picture. One of my friend in 4 grade back home use to come to school with horrible marks on her. She was expected to get 100s in everything and she did. It was when she was just being a kid and wanted to play - those marks would appear the next day. I have never seen such abuse in my life even though I was one of the LUCKY person to get beaten up by my lovely parents.

What I mean to say is - ALL kids who were disciplined with spanking - turn out mature and responsible individual. Some dosage of spanking is a must.

In return for all the spanking my parents gave me - I would like to turn around and tell them THANK YOU your effort paid off and I turned out good. If you had not spanked me - maybe I would not have HEARD what you said and probably I would have messed up my life somehow.

lol

I think - spanking is a MUST. I do not spank my kids and I feel that I am falling short of keeping this "fear" of "mom" in my kids.

Freaking - my kids are not scared of me! They SHOULD be.


lol

diwana

Lightly spanking with hands only (no belt or any other item) to admonish without causing harm occasionally for something really bad for many people is justified depending on the child's age too.
At times first episode of spanking may work and later just a reminder of the event may be enough.

For some, any amount of hitting is wrong.

Being abusive, calling names, making them feel low is a big no no.

I think making them stand in the corner (not in the closet or dark room) and be quiet should be the best way to discipline children. Other thing is cut off TV, toys, etc.

The question is difficult to answer. It depends how much memory remains and how much and how long the abuse occurred.

NaMaan

Violence never was a solution and never will be . Most of the time parents beating children is a case of frustration at parent's end . Instead of reasoning they just use violence and think that problem is solved . Usually youngster who have been through repetitive violence turns out to be almost the same was their parents and not very good citizen . They pick up that habit of anger that effects their life at many levels . Violence should really be the last resort , either in the form of physical abuse or mental .

iShaz

Hitting your children is probably the worst mistake parents can ever make. It does'nt solve the problem, it gets worse & worse.

Thank God my parents were not like this. They never hit me. If i did something bad then they use to tell me not to do it again and warn me that if i did it again they will won't give me pocket money, won't let me play games etc etc but never came to the 'hitting part'.

They would get naraz and shout but would never hit.

Decent 6Chora

I don't remember being hit by mom or dad unless they did it before my "hosh sambhalna" but my wife has stories to tell but she discuss those incident with her mom/dad in more funny way then complain