Your Wife's Parents

PyariCgudia · Nov 15th, 2009, 03:34 PM

Say your wife doesn't have any brothers or siblings to take her parents. So her parents are living alone, and want to move in with you. Joint family system, na

So, gents, what is your reaction when your wife sits you down and announces her family would like to move in with you?

Naabigh · Nov 15th, 2009, 03:39 PM

Joint family - sure why not ! lets get the parents from both sides in your home and live like a big happy family

Maham S · Nov 15th, 2009, 03:39 PM

I am sure 95% will faint or get the shockest (lol) shock of their life :P

Shak09 · Nov 15th, 2009, 03:41 PM

If it would be important for my future wife then it would be important to me too!

Orpheus · Nov 15th, 2009, 03:46 PM

Naabigh · Nov 15th, 2009, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maham S

I am sure 95% will faint or get the shockest (lol) shock of their life :P

yes sure - may be because of the hypocrisy of your clan ! where there is a privacy issue/objection attached when living with Guy's parents

Same should goes for yours , should it not?

PyariCgudia · Nov 15th, 2009, 03:52 PM

Really, orphy???

Haha, interesting replies. Naabigh, reply honestly, not what you're expecting I expect to hear.

Mamaof3 · Nov 15th, 2009, 04:00 PM

My hubby is JUST amazing about this. My mom is alone now and he would welcome her into our house, as difficult as she can be. He's got a heart of gold for sure. It would be more difficult for me than for him since he works such long hours and is not home much...but still, its a huge decision and a huge difference in lifestyle. You have to both be on the same page when undertaking a joint family system for sure.

Naabigh · Nov 15th, 2009, 04:04 PM

PCG - Well I play fair - and expect others to do same !

you need to wrap few scenarios around you question - Then it would be easy for people answering

what if the husband was living with his parents - when he got wedlock - and the girl made him moved away - so they can enjoy a bit of privacy gal - fair enough

But than should she be asking about her parents moving in with the couple ?

Another Scenario - lets say the guy's have no one left among his family - i mean no parents - so on such request should he be moaning ?

Like my father died when i was a kid - and throughout the journey of me life i have missed him alot .. considering my personal situation - I would love to have a fatherly figure at my home !

They can live in our annexe - I wouldnt mind that for sure

kaun · Nov 15th, 2009, 04:19 PM

you got to weigh in a few things before you respond, if your wife is the only child and that her parents require help i mean for sure i would do that but considering a few factors, can we afford the addition of 2 ppl, do we have a big enough place to accomodate and if we can as a couple then why not because this can be any parents situation, mine too and Allah na karey if it comes to that point where i would need to do the same and bring in my parents wife can`t say n e thing either

Maham S · Nov 15th, 2009, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Naabigh

yes sure - may be because of the hypocrisy of your clan ! where there is a privacy issue/objection attached when living with Guy's parents

Same should goes for yours , should it not?

well the case that is mentioned here then yah sure i think the guy should accomodate. However in any normal case i dont think so even though i m a girl myself n wud luv to have my parents live with me or vice versa but God has made this set up for some reasons and i dont think we shud go against it.

mama ki dua · Nov 15th, 2009, 04:39 PM

PCG many girls wouldn't be happy if the husband's parents come to live with them so why question guys about it? I'm pretty sure the answer would be same for them. If the girl wouldn't allow it then it should be fair not to let the girl's parents to live with them

Guys aren't always wrong. We can be wrong too

As for myself I wouldn't mind living with my in laws

Hassan007 · Nov 15th, 2009, 04:43 PM

Nope don't mind at all. Her parents are my parents and this should be shown by our actions and not just talk. If my wife's parents do need their daughter's or my assistance, i would be willing to do anything inshaallah. Allah will judge me in Qayamat for everything and may be because of this..Allah would forgive my sins as i am very sinful fellow.

Orpheus · Nov 15th, 2009, 04:55 PM

Its just something about needing my space and privacy. With elders in the place i feel i just would'nt get that.

snazzy · Nov 15th, 2009, 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mama ki dua

PCG many girls wouldn't be happy if the husband's parents come to live with them so why question guys about it? I'm pretty sure the answer would be same for them. If the girl wouldn't allow it then it should be fair not to let the girl's parents to live with them

Guys aren't always wrong. We can be wrong too

As for myself I wouldn't mind living with my in laws

i agree. Many girls wouldn't be happy with having to live with in-laws. but i think guys usually don't mind as much when it comes to her parents. They might feel a bit hesitant, but I don't think they have a huge problem with it, especially if the parents are pretty old and keep to themselves. I mean it's the daughter that's really taking care of them. I guess it also depends on how financially stable the guy is and if the parents need his help financially, he might mind a bit more.

clothesmad · Nov 15th, 2009, 11:33 PM

Although my hubby has a great relationship with my parents, i dont think he would welcome the thougth of them living with us, thats not because they are my parents, jsut because he likes his privacy.

Even when his own parents come to stay at ours, after a few weeks he's itching for his own space again.

Sara516 · Nov 16th, 2009, 10:08 AM

if it were necessary i am sure he would allow it but i know it would make things somewhat tense for a while. same if it were opposite.

Cheegum · Nov 16th, 2009, 10:20 AM

This is something that should be discussed before the marriage, not after.

MIAinVA · Nov 16th, 2009, 10:21 AM

I know a guy whose own parents do not live in USA, the wife's dad passed away and the mom lives with her daughter now. I find it very sweet that he's fine with it.

They recently had a baby and now its so easy for the wife to keep working as her mom takes care of the baby. So it worked out really well for them.

Its sometimes a blessing to have any of the parents living with you, be it the husband's or the wife's.

Gemini the Great · Nov 16th, 2009, 10:37 AM

My husband knew about my mom living with us even before we got married.. after my dad passed away, it was understood that she will be staying with us sisters.. for now she prefers living with my older sister since she got three boys and nano loves spending time with them.. Alhamdulillah my brother in law respects her like his own mother... but now, we have a deal that mommy spends winter with baji in Pakistan and summer with me in the US... my husband and I are anxiously waiting for summer 2010. :-)

and by the way these things need to be talked about before marriage not after!