UZ

Do you celebrate those? or how do you tell children that its not part of our religion but we can still celebrate them,is this right or wrong?

njgal

UZ - I don't CELEBRATE them - meaning I don't decorate my house or anything but I do acknowledge the traditions in my house.

I personally find it annoying when people shove THE RELIGION DEBATE into everthing.

TLK

shove is such a non-religious word .. toba toba

Muzna

Excellent subject.

We have major debates about this amongst my siblings and more often than not we are divided on the issue of how religion plays a role in these occassions.

Do we celebrate them? If that means do I let the kids dress up and go trick-or-treating? Yes. I do. Until they are old enough to understand the relationship/difference between religion and traditions and customs.

Do I hand out candy to the kids that come by? Absolutely.
Do I do it with a smile and without judgement? Absolutely.
Do I let the older kids dress up to hand out candy since they are not going out? Yes....if they want to.

Sara516

valentines and halloween aren't part of any modern day religion.

TLK

Forget about Halloween and Valentines, even Christmas is no longer a religious holiday in USA. That is why in offices, we have Holiday Parties, not Christmas Parties. I dont see any reason why we cant expose the diversification of this culture to our kids that we are voluntarily part of, no one put a gun on my head to live in USA. If I have a problem, I should move to some Islamic county.

Mehnaz

I purchased a heart-shaped cake pan with Valentine's Day in mind. I plan on making it my own tradition to bake my honey bunny (my son) a valentine's day cake and decorate it whatever way he wants me to. In February, I might make a jungle heart. Maybe it's just a bahana I am using to eat more cake since he's just a baby ...

ANYWAY, I don't see anything wrong with Valentine's or Halloween. This year, I'm not going to dress him up for other reasons (father's barsi on same day). But since it will be a busy with guests over for the barsi, I'm going to be handing out candy too. But I normally do hand out candy every year. I think kids look ADORABLE all dressed up, especially the little ones.

I went out trick or treating every year until I was 16 years old. Then I decided I was too old.

njgal

Many Islamic countries celebrate valentines day.

wishkamar

I don't see a reason why kids cannot dress up for Halloween and go trick-or-treating, set up a Christmas tree at home etc. They are not going to convert just because they would like to join other kids on Halloween.

NYCGori

I'm a mom-in-waiting, not yet a mom... so I haven't yet had to deal with this.

But right now both my husband and I are in agreement that Halloween is fine and I plan to have fun making my kids' costumes. We also celebrate Valentine's between ourselves but when it comes to the kids going to school I think we may be cautious about things if our children are in mixed-gender classes and the teachers have the kids exchange valentine cards.

As for Christmas, my family is Christian and we both want the kids to be able to experience family celebrations on both sides. It's not as much of a dilemma in our case because my family's observance of Christmas is cultural but not religious, so there won't be any staying home from midnight Mass or any of that while the rest of the family goes out. I think we agree that if we give our children a strong Islamic education and observance in our own home, they will mature to understand the distinction between sharing a happy occasion with people we love and believing everything they believe.

Muzna

Very, very well said.

Sehrysh

Total aside - but this reminded me - I don't know if you heard what happened Valentine's Day.

In the Defence area of Karachi, a lot of couples were celebrating Valentine's Day at the park. One of the religious groups came in and danda kai zor sai made everyone disperse.

MIAinVA

^Yeah, I believe it was Nisar Shaheed Park in DHA Phase IV, my mom told me about that since she used to go there for her evening walks.

somegroovychick

^ ridiculous!

also, NYCGori, very well said! i completely agree. my husband's family also celebrate Christmas but from a cultural standpoint, so we do go all out in terms of presents for the family, and his parents have a tree and host a christmas dinner too. its their "Eid", after all! it wouldn't be fair to them, my hubby, or our future kids to eliminate the experience. and then we do the same for both Eid's too in terms of celebrating on a large scale and as a special occasion with its own traditions. i guess i'm more sensitive since my children will be mixed-race kids and i'd ideally like them to have the benefit of both cultures in as many things as possible.

for the others, yes we go out for Halloween and dress up, and my dad especially loves to hand out candy to the neighborhood kids and see everyone's costumes.
V-Day is just between us for now but i think you can easily make it a day to celebrate love between family members and not necessarily romantic love between two people. its kind of hard to escape that particular holiday haha

cricketplaya

Good! I am sure they didn't hit the womenfolk..

I agree with NYCGori, if you practice Islam as a way of life, the kids will follow, it's only natural. If you are relaxed, then they will also be the same, they will go out and celebrate all kinds of holidays. and then we complain why such kids grow up to be headaches in our community. (.. life1)

Sahar02

I agree -- no need to "celebrate" by going all out. But take the nice parts of the holiday and apply it. For example, I would allow my kids to dress up and go trick or treating, but would not decorate my house AT ALL for Halloween or spend tons of money on costumes. I would give out candy, as I feel this is a good way to build a sense of community. I don't mind kids exchanging valentines with their friends or classmates. But of course no romantic stuff or dating. I've never been a fan of the holiday and hubby and I think it's too cheesy to actually acknowledge between us.

Christmas is interesting. My family never did anything special for Christmas (in the US). Hubby grew up (in England) with a Christmas tree and exchanged presents and such. I think his parents were much more conscious of fitting in culturally there and had a much more diverse social circle. My parents were friendly with others, but mainly socialize with Pakistanis and never felt a desire or need to celebrate Christmas. We haven't had a Christmas tree in the past 4 years. If hubby really wanted one, I wouldn't stop him. Nor do I mind giving holiday presents to close friends who celebrate it. But generally, I wouldn't celebrate it.

Afro-Sheen

Nice sensible post. I used to go trick or treating when I was little, and I will take my kids as well once they are older. I think it's just a fun day to dress up, go out and have some fun, esp the candy deal is nice. We always have candy and hand out happily for so many years, that and the fact that we live right on the corner of a busy street, so ours is one of the 1st homes the neighborhood kids come too. Valentines is not a big deal, neither is X-mas, but office wise etc, i celebrate all holidays with others. It's nice to make kids aware of all holidays so they understand others as well.

McPendo

We are not suppose to celebrate those because these holidays come from greek/pagan origins and our religion warns us not to follow pagan ideologies. Valentine's day, the cupid a Greek symbol of love= Pagan. Celebrating birthday, ok this goes back to Greece too. The Greeks would go to a mountain temple belonging to a goddess and they would light candles on a cake and place the candle on the temple. If the wind blew their candles first it meant the goddess granted their wish. Christmas again not a chrisitan holiday but rather a roman holiday. This is when the Romans used to have sex with young boys!!! im not joking read upon it and exchanged gifts, this practice was later changed due the advent of Jesus Christ. No one knows when Jesus was born. If you don't believe me you gotta do your research! Stay away from these devil worshiping traditions. If you study the old cultures clearly you'll come to realize that there are a lot of aspects in them that contradict our religion and Christianity as well. Haloween we all know in Quran Allah says not to communicate with the dead and the dead are to be respected. Halloween is another greek/roman holiday when it was introduced by the Spaniards to the Mexicans which became known there as the day of the dead. The Freemasons borrowed the idea from their secret rituals and implemented those in their new found land America, which later became known as Halloween! Again if you dont believe me read upon secret societies and the Freemasons their game of masquerade that they play is very similar to Halloween

Niksik

I understand.

The thing is that while we know our niyah is not to celebrate or worship but just to participate, we can get carried away and get lost into the attraction of these holidays.

In our home we make Eid so special and huge that my kids have never really asked why we don't celebrate Christmas, etc. in our home. I do, however, allow the kids to participate in school events as I don't want them to feel isolated. Maybe that's wrong, I don't know.

McPendo

Niksik you should tell your kids why its inappropriate to follow these holidays. This is what people have done they have created a status quo around what is "right" without doing any research on it. Im sure you dont want you kids to be ridiculed but this is our religion and we must adhere to its rules.