Lusi

How would you handle your 4/5 yr old who continues to call his/her friends at school "poop face" "butt head", etc? What would you do to stop them?

Niksik

Hmm, can't say because I haven't been in that exact situation.

But whenever I had to discipline my child with regards to social etiquettes, her dad and I have sat down with her and explained the purpose and consequences very clearly, and then asked her to repeat what we said.

A 4/5 year old can understand very well.

I would probably explain to him how he/she will end up hurting people's feelings and get punished for his behavior. Tell the child how he/she has so much good in them. Also ask them how they would feel if someone said that to them.

Also, as a parent I would really control what he/she is watching on TV and the kind of friends he/she has in and after school.

Lusi

what would/should be the consequence?

Niksik

Well I'm not sure how kids are reprimanded at school..at the end they usually have to meet up with the parents I suppose.

But at home, consequences could involve cutting off TV time, playing outside with friends, sending to the room with limited access to favorite activities...stuff like that....

Hashmat Usmani

Lusi

^^ yeah, exactly!! I told the parents and they said they will work with her but apparently whatever they are doing is not helping. Everyday this little girl comes to school and starts calling other kids butt head and poop face.

That is why I am curious what would be an appropriate consequence of such a thing at home.

Niksik

This kid is definitely in wrong company.

Lusi

I am not sure what is the home environment but both parents are quite educated and they both apparently look pretty decent ppl. I know she hasn't picked these word from the class, probably from kids/people she socialize with at home or maybe at previous child care. I was thinking if she does it tomorrow again then I will just send her to the office, maybe that will help.

but please, keeps your thoughts coming, i am just curious how different parebts deal with such issues.

Hashmat Usmani

if she is my child i'll make sure she learns manners b4 she sees any other kid, even if it means weeks of staying home alone. the kid needs some serious desciplining.

Niksik

See most of my neighbors are very educated Lusi. Both parents are professionals and have a pretty decent environment at home. But their kids and a bunch of other kids play outside a lot and they pick up words that are crazy! My daughter happened to play with them a few times this summer and for the first time she rolled her eyes at me. Totally shocking. That's when her dad and I sat her down and explained how that was totally unacceptable and she admitted that one of those kids did with with her parents and her mom was cool with it.

I told her that our rules are different and we don't do that in our family. We told her about respecting each other's feelings and she apologized and has never done that again.

Then school started and she hasn't played with those kids again. But see how something little if unchecked can become a habit.

Mamaof3

I'd give a time-out or loss-of-privelege or favorite toy once or twice. If it continued, I'd give ONE warning that it stops because the next time, I wash the dirty words out of your mouth with soap. And I'd do it.

Muzna

I have seen parents actually put soap on the child's tongue to enforce this ^

Mamaof3

Just the threat of it worked for mine...but I'd have done it if the warning didnt work (one was using the "sheet" word). Soap is non-toxic - it tastes horrible but wont harm.

llxxll

soap works if other discipline techniques dont pehel pyar se samjhaanke dekho phir munh dho daalo lolz

llxxll

my mother has often done the silent treatment to bring me on the "right path" that alwasy worked for me. pehle woh pyar se samjhaane ki try karti thi usually that worked n agar main phir bhi baaz nahi aati thi toh she would give me silent treatment and not be her usual loving self mujeh hug aur kissy bhi nahi deti thi that was torture so I would quit whatever behavior she didnt like cuz my mother's love was more important to me than my own ego

Mamaof3

ack! I did this only once to my middle son. And it had such an impact on him, I cant tell you. He thought that I didnt love him anymore because he misbehaved! It made me feel just awful....I explained that it was the behavior that I dont love but that I love him and always will no matter what and that even when I'm really really angry I still love him....it took a few times of me telling him this before he actually accepted it.

NYCGori

LOL

My parents never did this to me but my younger sister will never forgive me for the time I did it to her! I was around 12 years old and my parents went out for lunch and asked me to watch my younger siblings---she was around 7 at the time and told me to 'shut up.'

I've mellowed since then...I don't think I'd do this with my kids but I guess you don't know until you become a parent how you'll deal with situations.

Milly

I would always start with positive reinforcement, before time out and taking things away. Reward her when she doesnt do such a thing. Give her confidence and self believe that she doesnt need to say these things to get attention.

Begin with warnings, max should be 2 warnings and then she gets sent to another classroom/deputy/head teacher.

She perhaps needs to learn how best to socialise with her peers. She might not be aware that those words are not nice. Ask any 5 year old what it means to 'be good' they shrug their shoulders. Perhaps a social skills group with the SENCO or a TA.