njgal

It's raining, cold and bleak outside so here comes the morbid thread.....

Have you thought about if you or your spouse wasn't here - who would be the best person to take care of your children?

Who do you trust? grandparents? (if they are too old) Relatives? Family friends?

Have you had this discussion with the potential guardians?

Do you have a will drafted and submitted to your lawyers or registered with the county?

Do you know in some states - the state will get your children if you don't have someone specified in your will. The relatives would have to fight the state to get rights to your children.

What about assets - have you identified how the assets would be given to your children.

Thoughts?

Niksik

Yes, my husband and I discussed this a few days ago.

We haven't yet but are planning to prepare a will where everything is clearly laid out. In the case of death, of both of us, our children will be taken care of by my husband's older sister and her husband. We are also the assigned guardians of their children. The reason, well first of all we trust their parenting style, their lifestyle and sincerity. My MIL is alone so she will not be able to do this on her own, and my parents are back home and I want our kids to remain in the US. However, every relative's rights over the kids such as time spent, etc, will be clearly laid out.

Regarding assets, we will assign a power of attorney to whatever funds we have set aside for them...again, we trust the guardians we have selected without a shadow of doubt.

May Allah keep us all in his protection and keep us safe and healthy for our children so this situation doesn't arise. Ameen.

njgal

Niksik - good answer. Have you put it in writing with a legal document?

Niksik

No yet but plan to, soon.

Decent 6Chora

We are in the process of completing and registering our will. Although we would have liked one of the grand parents (dada&daddi or nana&nani) take the responsibility but its almost impossible because of couple of things

1- They are in Pakistan
2- They are almost at the age when they actually need support instead of they providing support.

We are naming my sister as 1st guardians and my wife's sister 2nd in line. Reasons is that they almost have a same life style as we have. Food, clothing, education everything is almost on the same thrust and on top of it they have kids almost the same age as ours (with 2-4 years age diff)

For assets we are planning to allow guardian to take a fix amount out every year that is required for kids expenses till off course kids become 18+

same

what if noone is here as relative, wht to do in that case?

njgal

samw - then a family friend or extended family

Afro-Sheen

Gosh I really have been thinking long & hard about these questions recently. Specifically because on the closing of our home, the lawyer asked us these questions & recommended really getting a will done. As morbid as it is, it makes a lot of sense to have, so children are taken care of. I still haven't figured out who would be guardian? Id love grandparents, but they are too old to really take care of kids full time. I have 2 bros and hubby has 1 bro in paki though, which leaves my bros. But unfortunately not sure that's possible with babhi issues....yeah so I am very stumped.

Pink'd Out

me and my husband discussed all this 'what-if' scenario when we got pregnant - and after our daughter was born we went to my family lawyer and got a will drawn out and appointed a close family member as a guardian in case of an accidental death

njgal

It's a hard process.

First to think of someone and both of you agree with that is the right choice. I numerous cases - the guy wants his side of the family and the gals want somone from their side.

Then actually have a conversation with them to see if they agree. I have a cousin that would be an excellent choice but she has 3 kids of her own. I know she would not agree to take care of 5.