Muzna

Have you ever come across a family where you thought it would be better for the kids to be raised by caregivers in a daycare than to be with their stay-at-home mom?

ahmadjee

all the time!

njgal

yes but I am still anti daycare for kids under the age of 2.

In this country you have no alternatives but I don't know why heart sinks at the thought

Niksik

Unless the stay home mom is an ill-tempered out of control verbally and physically abusive psychologically upset woman, no. I don't think anyone can give the unconditional love, time, care, energy and values to a child than the mother.

In cases where the mother isn't a stay home mom, obviously daycares/other are the way to go.

Pink'd Out

yes I have, one family in particular. some kids can really use some time away from emotional abuse parents throw at them. but obviously it is not anyone's call but the parent's. and even if you would like to help someone. what do you say? I really wanted to help these kids and on my own I tried to be a good role model for them. but unfortunately the family moved away to pakistan
I wonder about them from time to time. I pray to Allah all is well with them. Insh'Allah

s_mk

That's not very nice Muzna
Can you please specify what KIND of stay-at-home moms you're talking about?

ahmadjee

I have had encounters with many parents who home school their kids and they give the same reason for not sending their teens to school.

Niksik

There's a difference between school and daycare,

s_mk

ahmadjee, I know where your coming from , but I don't think its our place to question what the parents think is best for their children.
Unless of-course, we're talking about out-right abuse or neglect.

ahmadjee

Niksik, in your mind their might be but in their's they can give you a hundred reasons not to send your kids to school.

s_mk, I totally agree. I am more of a libertarian (i.e. individual liberty) when it comes to social issues.

Decent 6Chora

but as they say first 5 years of kids's life are key and he/she better be with parents (mom or dad whoever) than be with x,y,z who are loving them to make earning! (well mostly).

So love/care theory does not hold much once they are over 5 and are in school. After 5, another training starts and for that they SHOULD go to school.....

ahmadjee

Again, in your opinion.

I have thought about it a lot and it's all our cultural perceptions. We used to get married in our early teens about a century ago and now everyone gasps at the thought. It's the same concept.

Niksik

See I'm a stay home mom. Gave up my career to be home with my kids. I made the best use of the opportunity, spent great quality time with them, still do, and I wouldn't give it up for anything. I've asked my older kid several times about her thoughts on my returning to work and she's always very openly told me she cannot go to a daycare after she comes back from school because she loves me to be the one picking her up and walking back with her from the busstop and the laying out a fresh warm meal for her. Heck why not. Alhamdullilah I can afford it. I love to be around these kids of mine. I also know that if I did decide to go back to work, we will manage just fine. But I have the option and I take it.

So I'm a stay home mom, why the heck would I send my kids to a daycare if I am anyways at home? I am a healthy, sane, educated woman and I can offer the best care to my kids.

With homeschooling... I have my reservations because I don't think I can provide a disciplined instructional environment, day after day. That's just me. Some people are up to it and do a great job at it.

Muzna

I am talking about those moms that really are not cut out for parenting.
They have no schedule, no concept of discipline. Not a thought towards stimulating and growing their children's minds. Nothing. Nada.

Niksik

Lol, yes sadly I have seen such moms .

ahmadjee

Niksik, if you think I am objecting to stay at home mom's, I am not. I am marely pointing out that it comes down to our own opinions on how disciplined is disciplined, how one measures 'quality time', what is love, what is self-sacrifice.

To be clear ... do I come across parents who's kids in my opinion will be better served being in day care, absolutely, all the time. Do I think I or the state has the right to force them to send their kids to day care ... no.

ahmadjee

And by the way, I have talked to some home schooling parents and think their kids will be better served in school.

sadzzz

damn... depressed again

Decent 6Chora

Home schooling is definitely a NO. Just makes kid a social outlier/outcast

njgal

At time I know that a daycare can provide my children a more "structured" day.

Most kids that go to daycare are very disciplined. I see them being more individual - where they can feed themselves at an early age, clean up even communicate better.

But in my heart of heart - I don't believe in it for kids younger than 2. Even after that age, I would only send them part time and not for the whole day.

Call it "desi parenting" but for my girls I think what I (as their mom) can give them - in my non structured, scheduled free, willy nilly, hoopla fun times is more valuable than any daycare.