X2

Now I dont think it should be someone's business to discipline someone else's kids, it should be the parents' responsibility, but when you have guests who let their kids run wild and will not bother to see what the kids are doing, what they are ruining, breaking, who they are beating etc..then in my book they have passed on that disciplining to the host. Then why get mad if your kid is read the riot act and frown that it is not the way they discipline their kids etc.

How many times should someone tell a guest to sort their kid out before going and sorting the kid out oneself?

thoughts..?

UZ

After telling the child's parent and parents don't care we should go and tell the kid ourselves.

PS.Seriously if I know my child is naughty I'll try to keep him out of trouble and I don't have enough patient when other kids are breaking things at my house.

chips6

There was a thread somewhat similar about a few months ago or maybe a year..I dont remember exactly,but it was along the same lines....
It became more of a discussion that people who can't stand kids when they visit their homes,do not deserve to be parents...!!
I am no parent,but I agree that sometimes some kids do need disciplining...

Niksik

I remember that thread chips... a slightly different twist.

I've had intances where little toddlers have come over and touch stuff and parents are ever so careful... I don't really mind that because really when I see parents all concerned I try to make it easier for them and remove any dangerous or precious objects. Now when older kids who can "understand" when the are being told still don't listen, I try not to pass any taunting comments but find the first opportunity to have a little talk with that child.

sadzzz

umm my hubby always does the disciplining himself now... theres only so many times u kindly point out to the child infront of their parents not to do something. If the child consistently does the same thing over and over again.... or if they are seriously going to hurt themselves and the parent aint doing anyhing about it.... as a human being, id step in. Seriously. If u see someone in danger, why wait for someone else to do something about it first.... if they end up hurting themselves, u'll feel rather guitly. Nahin?

RupayHalwa

I don't care if the parents get upset, I get on my knees and make eye-contact with the kid, and tell them very firmly that "we don't do that bcos..." followed by "...and mummy will agree with me..." in front of the mum, shaming her into feeling like she is not taking appropriate action.

But if it's really too much for me to deal with, I ask Mr Halwa to do the honours, somehow he gets taken more seriously than me.

Once, a silly 6 year old kept trying to fire foam darts at nearly point blank range straight into my eyes, and wouldn't stop it despite being told to, the mum just sat by not saying anything. So I warned the kid, do it again and the dart gets it. She did it again right in front of her ma, SO I GRABBED THE DAMN THING AND BROKE IT IN PIECES AND TRAMPLED ON IT IN FRONT OF BOTH OF THEM. Neither was much pleased, kid had a fit, and the ma complained u broke it, I said "to be fair, she had been warned". I would do it again if I had to.

Moral of the story, kid behaves badly, BREAK THEIR TOYS.

s_mk

^ um okay, I wouldn't really go that route, breaking their toys and stomping on them, a bit extreme IMO

chips I think I remember that thread too, I don't really remember it saying that the people who cant stand kids to visit them do not deserve to be parents, 'cause that's really wrong.I do remember it saying that visiting other people who have kids is a bit more comfortable and easier than visiting people with no kids, as they don't really get it ...yet. (as was obvious from a couple of responses)

ANywayy, X2, we've had some family friends whose kids were like that.I remember hinting to the mother a couple of times, as the main issue was him hitting and bullying my son, but there was no response whatsoever. I even tried telling the kid a couple of times how 'We dont hit' or 'We share' etc etc, but...yeah..
So we totally backed off,started visiting and socializing with them less and less, as it would usually turn into an really uncomfortable situation, especially for my husband who could not stand their indifferent attitude. Sometimes thats just better, I guess, than to let the issue get between adults (as obviously no one appreciates their kids being disciplined by others.)

somegroovychick

Rupay, LOL!!! i'm sorry but that last line is hilarious and i can just picture you breaking the dart!

the kids in our family are horribly, horribly misbehaved. they come to my parent's apartment, all 10 of them, run around like banshees, throw things around, etc. etc. the parents just sort of sit there. the best my folks have been able to do is confine them to messing up one room instead of the whole place. its really frustrating.

RupayHalwa

^ Change your stance, SHOW THEM NO MERCY!!!

S_MK It's not extreme, it's necessary!

MIAinVA

Why do parents do that?? How tough is it to tell your kids to behave in other people's homes?

Is it usually boys who are harder to control and are destructive? I just have one daughter and I find her very easy to control/discipline so I get perplexed when I see kids going crazy.

Sahar02

Here's the original thread. It's a similar idea, but more ranting :
dont you hate it when parents dont tell off their kids who are rude/noisey/naughty et

But I will stop, look the kid in the eye and explain to them what they can and cannot do. If I say there are consequences for their actions, I WILL follow through on it. No matter what. This is not hurtful to the child. It is hurtful that the parents do not explain limits and expectations to their children. You aren't doing them any favors that way. I have no tolerance for that. If you're going to be a bad parent, particularly in someone else's home, then be prepared for someone disciplining your child.



OMG I'm totally going to end up with a naughty child I can't control. Karma for telling off other people's children.

redvelvet

I'm a teacher.....so.....I get to discipline other people's kids all I want for 7 hours....5 times a week. Teachers are considered to be "loco parentis"...a term which stands for "in place of parents".......still supported by many courts. Muawhahahahaha, LOL....:P

Obama

Yes I know what you mean............

We let the White House Staff take care of that problem.........

*HNK*

i get so annoyed at parents whose kids are messing around and breaking stuff, yet they themselves don't care about it! I mean they could at least tell them to stop if they're too lazy getting up and talking to them face to face!

funguy

We have used kids/parents behavior as benchmark for our social circle. We have filtered off many "misbehaving families". I don't blame the kids. I blame the parents.

It's been a great learning experience. We always give them one chance.

My tipping point is when a 8 year old brat throws toys downstairs standing in the landing area of a two story home. At that force and weight of the toy, it beocmes a deadly weapon.

Sahar02

^ And while that's happening, dad is sitting there debating the Pakistani political corruption and mom is gossiping about someone else.

I would hate to think it means cutting people off, but I guess that's sometimes your only choice. Unless it's family . Before I cut people off, I will address the child.

funguy

You are a teacher??????? I won't make fun of you anymore. You have my utmost respect. Well until you start acting all loco. lol

funguy

Oh family kids have already been disciplined, and if one acts all weird after returning from Pakistan then he is sent for a repeat crash course.

Family doesn't mind my disciplining of their kids.

Sahar02

^ Yeah, none of my aunts or uncles ever say anything to me. At some point, I'm sure they mind, but really, if they aren't going to address it, someone has to.

X2

some comments gere missed the point already, it is not about not being able to stand kids visiting, but kids not behaving properly. Kids will be kids sure but there are limits, kids running all over someone's house slamming doors and all is simply not cool because someone is going to get their face smashed or fingers caught in that. If I can see it, so can the parents, yet they choose nothing to do about it. Kids get into fights and parents dont get up etc. That sort of stuff.