Afshi

Parents,

would you be offended if you were invited to a wedding in which your children were not invited? Would you even go? Would you ask them why? Would you bring them along anyways?

The reason I'm asking is that I was at a wedding this past weekend, and the children were just insane - running around, spilling food on the floor, budding in lines for appetizers/dinner, taking up a lot of the tables. It was like the parents brought them to hall and told them: "this is your playground, feel free what you like and dont bother me while im with my friends"

Is it the parent's fault or the child?

Mamaof3

Its absoulely the parents fault. We've been invited to some weddings without the kids, these we do not attend. It would be very improper to bring the kids if they are not invited! If the kids are invited, we all go. And I keep a very watchful eye on them. Its necessary because of course they're excited and want to be in all the fun. Its not like I can sit and chat and visit with the adults because I'm too busy making sure they behave properly. Its a great learning experience for kids, to learn how to behave in all different kinds of social settings but I surely understand those who do not want children at their wedding. Many times, the parents feel that their kids are in a contained environment so they wont get lost and they're surrounded by family and friends so the parents feel free to sit and talk and not keep an eye on what their littles are getting themselves into. Thats wrong because the kids are not learning how to behave at functions and they're likely annoying to the wedding guests - and more importantly the bridal couple!

Muzna

If the children are not invited then we do not take them.

If children are invited then we make sure that she behaves as she should in a formal setting. She is not permitted to run around as if she is in a playground. We see the invitation as an opportunity for her to learn the proper protocol for such occasions and use it that way.

While I believe that our children should be welcome at all social functions from births to weddings to funerals, I do understand when some folks exclude them as not every parent is diligent in managing their kids' behaviour and unruly, noisy kids can completely destroy the atmosphere that someone may have spent days planning and creating.

Pink'd Out

haha hasn't happened yet. heck i have even been invited without my husband to weddings.
my daughter is almost 7 months Mash'Allah, and if that was the case, i would simply just not go. I can't handle the separation anxiety just quiet yet. and yes if the children are not invited then obviously parents should arrange a babysitter for that evening.
and if all invited, then keep a close eye on the kids. it is ONLY the parents responsibility. having said that we should keep an open mind, not all kids run around like maniacs. believe it or not some are just delightful to be around

TLK

I wont mind if the invitation is for Mr and Mrs only. Its my choice to accept the invite or not, I am not under obligation.

As a host, when we invite people over and know that they have kids, we try to arrange for some activities for them based on their age group.

Mehnaz

I took my son with me to 3 weddings over the summer (all 3 day functions). I was really weary, cause he was much younger, and I have seen other kids cry their heads off. Alhamdullilah, he was amazing, despite being seated next to speakers. He enjoyed himself and behaved. Didn't give me any problems. I just hope he stays this way.

Ira

Hasnt happened yet but if the invite said no kids, we wouldnt go unless there was someone i trust watching our baby (mainly our moms, sisters etc). That being said, if we did take her, i would amke sure she isnt causing a ruckus on someone's big day. My sister got married in Pakistan and during her mehendi, some kid kept plucking off the fresh flowers from teh garlanded decorations. It was driving me nuts watching him do that in the video, lol, i cannot imagine how my sister must be feeling. Ofcourse, in Pakistan too, the mothers are no where around the children.

mistral

I know I wouldn't be offended. It's completely up to the people hosting the wedding who they want on the guest list. And these days, it's not just a behavioral issue where hosts are concerned about the potential disruption caused by parents who don't look after their children, but a financial one. Most places charge for children over a certain age and that can add to the expense considerably.

That said, I adore kids. My wedding just wouldn't have been right without my darling nieces and nephews and friends' children being adorable as only children can. And I really appreciated how most of the parents were watching their kids and making sure that they were behaving themselves. However, I could have done without the little boy who decided to use the stage as his personal playground...more specifically, I could have done without his parents and much older siblings who were completely aware of his behavior and did nothing.

It's your child. Take care of him or her. If you want a relaxing evening out, make your own arrangements on your own dime. Don't use social events hosted by others as free babysitting. It's not fair to the hosts and it's not fair to your child who isn't going to learn how to behave properly in social settings.

Oh - and to all the parents out there (and here) who I've seen being vigilant about their young ones...a big fat thank you. It's much appreciated.

Afshi

^ i agree 110%