So your wife is expecting but you feel pregnant

TLK · Nov 2nd, 2009, 04:55 PM

have you seen guys like that? Following trimesters, reading "what to expect when you're expecting", gaining weight ..

I mean I am all for a guy learning more about the body changes that his wife is going through, attending those classes with is wife (what are they called? Lamaze?), but I've seen guys going through the same emotional phases that pregnant wife is going through.

What do you ladies want to see your hubby to behave like? You want a man of steel or man of velvet to be by your bedside when you are giving birth?

Hey, no disrespect if you are a guy like that (or your hubby is). I am a proud father of two and cut both umbilical cords myself without fainting but I know its tough on guys too.

khawateen · Nov 3rd, 2009, 01:09 AM

i have yet to see such a guy.. my husband, though the 'i will tie ure shoelaces cuz u cant reach past ure knees' kinda guy during pregnancy, remained his usual self when i was pregnant.. ya he became more caring and kind and all that nice blah blah blah.. but he was the voice of reason when i would worry bout the littlest of things about the unborn child.. sometimes it would piss me off as to why he wouldnt get worried.. but he just wasnt like that.. even with the scares ...

when it came time for the actual delivery, and a long long one it was, i was waiting for him to break down.. but he kept going.. and finally when we had the baby.. and i was settled.. he just deflated like a balloon let out of air

now that i think back... it was a perfect blend of strong and sensitive.. both when needed.

Niksik · Nov 3rd, 2009, 01:13 AM

omg, I know 3 such men. They are more pregnant than their wives. They even feel the contractions. Wow.

khawateen · Nov 3rd, 2009, 01:35 AM

haha...

man i find such men irritating.. i know this one friend, though not as bad as feeling the blues liek his wife did during pregnancy.... but jeez he had more info on pregnancy and labour and delivery than i think all of us pregnant women combined...

YES.. take interest.. but jeez calm down guy!

Niksik · Nov 3rd, 2009, 01:41 AM

i know, haha. This guy I know, his wife wasn't keeping well, I asked, he told me measurements

It just sounded odd...

UZ · Nov 3rd, 2009, 11:51 AM

Hahaa funny thread actually there is a book for guy to what to expect when your wife is expecting

nikki contractions

Niksik · Nov 3rd, 2009, 11:54 AM

UZ, and you know what he said to me when he was telling me stuff? He said :"bhabhi, aap ko andaza nahi hai ki woh kaisa feel kerti hai. Bohot taqleef hotee hai..."

I was like, hon, brother Joe, I've delivered 2, been pregnant thrice. Trust me I know. You however, don't.

Khair, what a sweetie...

maroush · Nov 3rd, 2009, 11:56 AM

It's called couvade syndrome...

Sara516 · Nov 3rd, 2009, 12:23 PM

Hmmm my husband was never interested in the details.

Niksik · Nov 3rd, 2009, 12:24 PM

Husband's usually are not.

TLK · Nov 3rd, 2009, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maroush

It's called couvade syndrome...

did we hit the nail too close to the home Maroush ...

Ok I am just kidding.

Bint_e_Naeem · Nov 3rd, 2009, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niksik

omg, I know 3 such men. They are more pregnant than their wives. They even feel the contractions. Wow.

Lol. Now THAT's something.

Man of steel AND velvet.

Steel so he can think rationally when I am not. Velvet so he can be more considerate of what I am going through.

So far he has been really nice & I sometimes feel bad for him. I have cried & whined & what not in the past 4 months & he hasn't shown his frustration once & I know he IS getting frustrated. Maybe even more than me.

Men gotta be strong for us women.

maroush · Nov 3rd, 2009, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TLK

did we hit the nail too close to the home Maroush ...

Ok I am just kidding.

No you're quite right. The first pregnancy was rough on him... he was experiencing most of the ups and downs that i was (cravings, nausea, indigestion)...i know he wasn't pretending to do this because when it came to the labour, even though he's a surgeon, he was feeling "faint and nauseous" ...

So, ladies....take it easy on the fellas....

TLK · Nov 3rd, 2009, 03:37 PM

Did he feel helpless sometimes (or does he as you are in this situation again). I did feel quite helpless when she was hit by the pregnancy blues during the 2nd trimester.

maroush · Nov 3rd, 2009, 04:33 PM

I think all men feel like that at some/most/all [delete as appropriate] stages of the pregnancy; a woman has a very unique bond with the child... so it's very difficult for a man to understand exactly what she is going through...

Anyway, i think everyone has been exposed to my moodswings, preggo blues etc, so imagine how it must be for Mr Maroush!.... I think it's vital that, whilst the man may not know what to do or how to help her, he should focus on his role of protecting, supporting and loving her whilst she is going through all this

TLK · Nov 3rd, 2009, 06:27 PM

I know a totally off topic comment but can what a hubby can/should do, can that be expected from a boyfriend if he is the father of pregnant girl's child. It seems that that care and affection that is needed takes more than just the love that a guy has for his wife/girlfriend. I know that its not an issue in our culture but what happens when an unmarried woman is going through that. Who is there to take care of her emotions? Even if she is living with her boyfriend, will he be able to do what a legal husband can do?

Bint_e_Naeem · Nov 3rd, 2009, 06:37 PM

Depending on the situation sometimes no one is there at all. Most boyfriends find it shocking & kind of hard to grasp. But then there are a couple who are really supportive like many husbands out there

But if she is living 'in" with the boyfriend then yes he will able to do what a legal husband does. The term legal husband sounds kind of funny. Isn't the word husband legal enough.

It also comes down to how ready the couple or the father involved was for a baby. Not all husbands prove to be supportive either.

TLK · Nov 3rd, 2009, 06:50 PM

Lol, yes just "husband" should be legal enough. My point is, I may do many things for my wife, not just out of love but because of the responsibilty I have as a husband, meaning that the legal marriage license would add an extra layer of responsibilty on me and many acts of mine would be a result of that extra layer. A live in boyfriend is a boyfriend. Not ties to that lady through a marriage licence, Would he feel that respsonsibility at all? To me, if he was responsible enough, he would never be bringing a child in to this world out of wedlock to begin with. No?

Bint_e_Naeem · Nov 3rd, 2009, 07:22 PM

Now there is a confusion here. If we talk about gora people then child out of wedlock wouldn't always be consider irresponsibility. There are a lot of couples who are in the 25-35 age group. They are not married but are equally devoted to one another & even have children. For some reason they are technically living like a family but the term marriage freaks them out.

Also bringing a child into this world has a little to do with luck I guess. Good or bad that depends.

aahmed · Nov 4th, 2009, 07:03 AM

I was well informed throughout the pregnancy but now gay. I didn't experience cramps or the blues. I was just there making sure she was comfortable. I clipped her toenails once cuz she couldn't reach. I routinely helped her put her socks on.

But I was also the SANE one when she went nuts and decided that the crib had to be put together NOW! We make a good team, when one of us is freaking out, the other one jumps in and vice versa.