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- Dec 28th, 2009, 11:05 AM #1----
- Join Date
- Sep 17, 2008
More and more women and couples are choosing to have kids later on in their lives.
Thanks to new fertility treatments it has given folks the gift of time and possibility that it not out of question. 40's is common - heck I have even seen 50 with my own eyes
Obviously age gives maturity and stability in life but do you feel older parents make better parents?A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Dec 28th, 2009, 12:21 PM #2----
- Join Date
- Jan 9, 2007
- Toronto, Canada
^ I think that's a really complicated question with no easy answer.
This is a really good article explaining the pros and cons of having kids in your 20s, 30s, and 40s.
Pregnancy in Your 20s, 30s, and 40s
I do believe though, personally, that having babies in your 40s is pretty selfish. You will not have close to the kind of energy you need to run around after babies and toddlers and deal with tweens and teens later on. By the time your children graduate, you'll be in your 60s and to be blunt, after that, how much longer will you be around, really? Will you be there at their weddings? Will you be there for grandchildren? Plus I can only imagine how hard it'll be on your body, as a woman, to have a child at that age and there are more pregnancy complications too.Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will.
- Dec 28th, 2009, 12:21 PM #3
In my experience and from what I've seen, older parents have usually had more of a struggle to attain parenthood - whether that is due to fertility troubles or due to their personal goals of wanting careers and full lives before becoming parents. So they tend to cherish their children more. This can be good and it can be bad. The kids can tend to be over-protected and over-indulged if you arent careful. And the worst thing is that man you get so darn tired. When you're in your 20s, you have SO much energy. You need that with littles. So becoming a parent in your 20s - even if you take it all for granted and dont cherish it quite as much, you still have all this energy to do creative projects with your littles and dedicate all this energy to them and they surely respond to that. So either way it works out. It should just be the thing for you, the time for you.
If I had had my kids in my 20s, it would have been with my ex. And it would have been a total disaster. I'm so very thankful that I waited. My only regret is that it didnt happen till I was an older mom.
- Dec 28th, 2009, 12:22 PM #4
SGC, the things you say may have held true years ago. But these days, people are very active even into their 70s. I have every reason to expect that hubs and I will be at the college graduations and weddings. Maybe we will not be there to greet our grandchildren which would be very sad. But there is also a good chance that we WILL.
And you know what? Sure, the whole fatigue thing is pretty big. But you work around it. I do regret sometimes that maybe I could do more if I werent so dern tired all the time. BUT my boys are happy and well-adjusted. I keep an eye on over-indulgement. And I thank my lucky stars each and every day for the blessing of having them in my life. And I think they feel the same.
Last edited by Mamaof3; Dec 28th, 2009 at 12:30 PM.
- Dec 28th, 2009, 12:38 PM #5
- Join Date
- Feb 5, 1999
- CA 90210
does emotional maturity correlate somewhat with age?
could being emotionally mature help with better parenting?
are every couple different?
- Dec 28th, 2009, 12:46 PM #6----
- Join Date
- Sep 17, 2008
Queer - I know there is no right or wrong answer. A couple had to gauge their emotional maturity.
Having a baby will shove you into being "responsible" whether you like it or not.
20 years ago - parents didn't have a choice.
Now they do. To travel, to be financially stable, to find their nitch in their career path and to perhaps live out their dreams BEFORE jumping into parenthood.
What would you do?A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Dec 28th, 2009, 01:33 PM #7
queer, emotional maturity for sure has lots to do with better parenting. Also personal goals. So you marry and have a baby with a 22 year old who really wanted a carreer and to see some of the world before having children. Will she reret? Maybe, maybe not. Same for guys. Theres some correlation between physical age and emotional age for sure but theres lots of other factors here too.
Yup every couple is different.
- Dec 28th, 2009, 09:41 PM #8----
- Join Date
- Apr 23, 2009
.. personally speaking, having older parents gave us all our moral value systems and ethics that our generation seem to have maintained and made us well grounded individuals ...........But I, being poor, have only my dreams;I have spread my dreams under your feet,Tread softly because you tread on my dreams...
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