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Jul 1st, 2003, 12:26 PM #1
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It's my father whom I look up to when I need inspiration, goals and need approval! This doesn't mean I am closer to my father than my mother. To me, my relationship with both of them is pretty much the same.
But according to this study, those males who are not close to their mothers should have communication problems with females, which I doubt I do. So, does it mean this study is bogus, or am I an odd entity in their statistical analysis?
Great Husband? Thank Your Mother-In-Law
- Great Husband? Thank Your Mother-In-Law
By E. J. Mundell
NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Stereotypes of the nagging, critical mother-in-law may need some revising: A new study suggests that good husbands or boyfriends are often the product of great moms.
Researchers interviewing 33 young couples found "significant" correlations between men's ties to their mothers and their partners' satisfaction with the relationship.
"If he's very close to his mother he may feel very close to his partner, probably very affectionate," explained researcher Sarah Roberts, of Ferrum College in Virginia.
Roberts co-authored the study with psychologist Sharon Stein while an undergraduate at Ferrum. She presented the findings at the recent annual meeting of the American Psychological Society, in Atlanta.
Although much research has been conducted into the parent-child relationship, Roberts and Stein say the impact of the mother-son relationship on a son's significant other has been "overlooked."
In their study -- titled "Mama's Boy or Lady's Man?" -- the two researchers had each male and female partner in 33 couples fill out separate questionnaires.
"The questionnaire that was given to the women was about relationship satisfaction," Roberts said, "and that given to the men was about their perceived closeness to their mothers."
The researchers found that, in general, men who said they had moms who "understood their needs" had mates who described them as "affectionate." Men who had a strong love for their mothers also tended to date women who described them as not only their lover, but also "their best friend," the authors report.
Finally, men who said they sought to "make their mother proud" ranked high in terms of their ability to communicate with their female partner.
How might mothers mold the attitudes and conduct of their male offspring when it comes to adult romantic relationships?
"In traditional homes, the mother is the very first person that the children have (as their) introduction to femininity," Roberts said in an interview with Reuters Health. "Their mother is, for the male child, their first study of what a woman is. So of course they watch her behaviors, they watch certain things coming from her, and of course are influenced by everything she may teach them."
Besides influencing him to be more open and gentle with others, an attentive mother may even influence her son's choice of mate in later life.
"If the mother is very loving, very caring, and displays this to her son, he may be in a position where he's thinking, 'Well, I want a woman like my mother,' or 'I don't want a woman like my mother,"' Roberts said.
But of course this influence can go overboard, too. For example, in a surprise finding, men who claimed mom as "their best friend" or said they "enjoyed spending time with mom" also tended to be labeled as less-than-considerate by many of their mates.
So a mom's love can backfire, too.
"I think it's clear it can go either way," Roberts said. "There's the question of 'how much is too much?' If he's too close to his mother, might not that be an obstacle for his spouse?"
Jul 1st, 2003, 12:38 PM #2Matsui----
AJ, you are odd as a three legged kangaroo.
Jul 1st, 2003, 01:03 PM #3----
Originally posted by ahmadjee:
It's my father whom I look up to when I need inspiration, goals and need approval!
and I have to agree with matsui ofcourseThere is no more pleasant food for the soul than the knowledge of truth. - Lactantius
Jul 4th, 2003, 06:59 AM #4----
He is not Odd but I think here it does come slight difference in research where it have been carried out. culture, etc also impact people
in our culture somehow its devided more or less like this
you are not odd. most of the career goals objectives, inspiration do come from father.
caring, loving, sincerity, emotions more or less comes from mother, as its natural I guess atleast in mycase.
and in this particular case I guess the writer is right, and I feel thats true. and i do like qualities of my mom in my partner.
put it this way, we want to be like our dad, and want partners like to be our moms
thats only if some of us like our parents.