• Accomplished
  • Aggravated
  • Amused
  • Angry
  • Annoyed
  • Anxious
  • Apathetic
  • Artistic
  • Awake
  • Bitchy
  • Blah
  • Blank
  • Bored
  • Bouncy
  • Busy
  • Calm
  • Cheerful
  • Chipper
  • Cold
  • Complacent
  • Confused
  • Contemplative
  • Content
  • Cranky
  • Crappy
  • Crazy
  • Creative
  • Crushed
  • Curious
  • Cynical
  • Depressed
  • Determined
  • Devious
  • Dirty
  • Disappointed
  • Discontent
  • Disgusted
  • Distressed
  • Ditzy
  • Dorky
  • Drained
  • Drunk
  • Ecstatic
  • Embarrassed
  • Energetic
  • Enraged
  • Enthralled
  • Envious
  • Exanimate
  • Excited
  • Exhausted
  • Flirty
  • Frustrated
  • Full
  • Geeky
  • Giddy
  • Giggly
  • Gloomy
  • Good
  • Grateful
  • Groggy
  • Grumpy
  • Guilty
  • Happy
  • High
  • Hopeful
  • Horny
  • Hot
  • Hungry
  • Hyper
  • Impressed
  • Indescribable
  • Indifferent
  • Infuriated
  • Intimidated
  • Irate
  • Irritated
  • Jealous
  • Jubilant
  • Lazy
  • Lethargic
  • Listless
  • Lonely
  • Loved
  • Melancholy
  • Mellow
  • Mischievous
  • Moody
  • Morose
  • Naughty
  • Nauseated
  • Nerdy
  • Nervous
  • Nostalgic
  • Numb
  • Okay
  • Optimistic
  • Pakistan
  • Peaceful
  • Pensive
  • Pessimistic
  • Pissedoff
  • Pleased
  • Predatory
  • Productive
  • Quixotic
  • Recumbent
  • Refreshed
  • Rejected
  • Rejuvenated
  • Relaxed
  • Relieved
  • Restless
  • Rushed
  • Sad
  • Satisfied
  • Scared
  • Shocked
  • Sick
  • Silly
  • Sleepy
  • Sore
  • Stressed
  • Surprised
  • Sympathetic
  • Thankful
  • Thirsty
  • Thoughtful
  • Tired
  • Touched
  • Uncomfortable
  • Weird
  • Working
  • Worried
  • User Tag List

    Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
    Results 1 to 18 of 26
    1. #1
      Senior Member
      ----
       

      mama ki dua's Avatar
      Join Date
      Feb 28, 2008
      Location
      Dunia main
      Posts
      11,811
      Blogs
      77
      Mentioned
      1 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      A sikh friend's sister of mine (S) got married about a year ago. The marriage was totally arranged and the couple were engaged prior to their marriage. Her mom noticed a few things about the other side and advised her daughter not to go ahead with the marriage. However, the daughter was adamant that this was the guy who was going to be her husband.

      The wedding ( rukhsati day) costs of the wedding are supposed to be shared by both parrties in the Sikh culture. The guy's side were not prepared to pay more than 300- 500 for a hall. You can't actually get a decent hall for that price. The one that my friend liked was costing about 5000. Her dad agreed to pay for that. The other side also did not bother paying for anything except the Scottish band they had at the wedding so food, hall, Dj was all paid by my friend's parents. Her husband's side was supposed to pay for a stage but they didn't even bother with it.

      She was happy with him and wasn't bothered about anything. A month later her mother in law took all her clothes away saying i'm going to keep them fo you. Whenever you need them you can ask me. S happily handed them over but whever she used to ask for hem her mil wouldn't give them to her. She actually kept them for her younger son's wife to be.

      Whenever S comes home to see her parents her mil gives her a huge list of things to bring from home and whenever she asked for money. Her husband looks away and her mil says " ask your parents for it. We don't have any".

      The mil is so greedy that she charges her son rent to stay in the house and she won't even let them move out. S's parents had given her 10,000 to keep for as a deposit for her house ( for whenever she got one). Stupidly they didn't put it in their daughter's account and just handed it over to the mil. MIL took the money and refuses to give her son the money.

      This is going to sound really petty but I was shocked when I heard this. One day S's husband got back from the petrol station and bought her a packet of crisps. The mil started shouting at him " Kutta %*!*! biwi ke liye laya. kabhi maa ka nahin socha hayeeeeee" as if that wasn't enough she actually ate them ( the mil and that's when she felt better. she left the empty packet and went upstairs) I'm sorry it's so stupid I know.

      S and her husband were going out once with the mil. It was freezing so the husband gave his jacket to his wife. OMG! the mil started throwing a tantrum " Maaa ko nahin dia. Biwi ko de dia Hayeeeee" *cry cry cry* "kuttay *%!" ( and some other nice words).

      It's S's wed anniversary next week and she asked her husband if they would pay for half their holiday and her parents would pay the otehr half. His mom was like yeah but a week ago she refused saying that they aren't paying anymore. Therefore, her parents decided to pay for the whole thing.

      I wouldn't entirely blame the in laws because S's husband is partly to blame too even though he was nice to her at the beginning. He expects his wife's parents to provide for everything. The guy's father is an accountant. S's husband works at a solicitor's firm and is in his final year of the Legal Practice Course at the same time so it's not like they can't afford it.

      She rings home for things like " mom can you send me some contacts" " my foundation ran out" " I need money for clothes". My friend is getting really annoyed because her sisiter won't stop asking and they have 3 other sisters whom their parents provide for too ( they're unmarried and in school). S's husband wont even let her get a job. I guess it'll be the whole superiority complex issue maybe?

      Oh on top of that S's husband wants to have kids. Thank God she's not stupid enough to agree because tomorrow she'll be rining home for things like " mom can u parcel me some pampers for my baby?" " Mom send some clothes for my baby" " Dad I need money for my kids books". She actually stood up for once and said " You can't afford to pay for little things that costs 10. How will you pay for your kids?" and to that obviously bhai saab's tone changed completely.

      S's mom had become a bit suspicious of the other side but her daughter didn't listen to her. Yes they made a few mistakes like not putting the money in their daughter's account and showing it off to people by putting it out on display ( in a basket) Stupid I know but

      I just don't understand how can a man be so greedy? If you can't afford a wife don't marry her. She is YOUR responsibility now. It's pathetic when You expect her parents to provide for both of you. You're an ADULT not a kid anymore. It's disgusting to see a guy with no self respect.
      Last edited by mama ki dua; Nov 15th, 2009 at 04:34 PM.
      Hamain maat dhondna duniya ki bheed main... Hum milein ge tumhain tumhari parchayi main



    2. #2
      Chakkar
      ----
       

      PyariCgudia's Avatar
      Join Date
      Apr 28, 2001
      Location
      A pigeon hole + Living Room
      Posts
      29,428
      Blogs
      2867
      Mentioned
      20 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      Wow.
      I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.

    3. #3
      Senior Member
      ----
       

      mama ki dua's Avatar
      Join Date
      Feb 28, 2008
      Location
      Dunia main
      Posts
      11,811
      Blogs
      77
      Mentioned
      1 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      ^
      Is it a good wow or bad one?
      Hamain maat dhondna duniya ki bheed main... Hum milein ge tumhain tumhari parchayi main



    4. #4
      Senior Member
      ----
       

      Orpheus's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jul 27, 2005
      Location
      Made in the UK.
      Posts
      8,091
      Blogs
      128
      Mentioned
      1 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      Seems like the girl including her parents got the wrong end of the stick.
      ...baat jisame, pyaar to hai, zehar bhi hai.

    5. #5
      Chakkar
      ----
       

      PyariCgudia's Avatar
      Join Date
      Apr 28, 2001
      Location
      A pigeon hole + Living Room
      Posts
      29,428
      Blogs
      2867
      Mentioned
      20 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      A pretty bad wow.
      I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures.

    6. #6
      Senior Member
      ----
       

      Monk's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jun 7, 2006
      Location
      monkVille
      Posts
      20,410
      Blogs
      1
      Mentioned
      27 Post(s)
      Tagged
      1 Thread(s)
      what did she say?
      what were the highlights?
      ﺃﷲ ﻧﯣﺮ ﺇﺴﻣﺇﯣﺇﺕ ﯣﺇﻠﺄﺮﺾ_"Say, "I seek refuge in the Lord of daybreak. From the evil of that which He created "

    7. #7
      Member
      ----
       


      Join Date
      Jan 29, 2009
      Posts
      309
      Mentioned
      1 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      This is a sad story. The in laws seemed to live perfectly fine before they saw the new source of money (girl's fam). The problem seems to be the girl's side is too nice/trusting and the in-laws are taking advantage. They should have stood their ground early on. And even if the dad deposited the 10k in her account, her inlaws would probably pressure her to move the money jointly with her husband or even hand it over for "safe keeping".

    8. #8
      Member
      ----
       

      aali.m's Avatar
      Join Date
      Mar 20, 2007
      Location
      London, UK
      Posts
      475
      Blogs
      10
      Mentioned
      0 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      OMG thats so horrible, Ok I get the husbund loves and wants to respect his parents but the wife has rights too! I mean why dont they stick up for there wife, its unbeliavble...

    9. #9
      vamp1r3
      Depressed
       

      blackforest_360's Avatar
      Join Date
      Sep 29, 2005
      Location
      United States Inc.
      Posts
      9,124
      Blogs
      835
      Mentioned
      6 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      what's the girls reaction to all this

      i'm gonna use pcg's adored phrase and say the husband needs to grow some balls.

      i think the girl's parents need to stop babysitting all of them
      Last edited by blackforest_360; Nov 15th, 2009 at 06:42 PM.
      verily we all die inevitably.

    10. #10
      Senior Member
      ----
       

      mama ki dua's Avatar
      Join Date
      Feb 28, 2008
      Location
      Dunia main
      Posts
      11,811
      Blogs
      77
      Mentioned
      1 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      Quote Originally Posted by Orpheus View Post
      Seems like the girl including her parents got the wrong end of the stick.
      yup

      Quote Originally Posted by Monk View Post
      what did she say?
      what were the highlights?
      Read the short post it only takes a min

      Quote Originally Posted by snazzy View Post
      This is a sad story. The in laws seemed to live perfectly fine before they saw the new source of money (girl's fam). The problem seems to be the girl's side is too nice/trusting and the in-laws are taking advantage. They should have stood their ground early on. And even if the dad deposited the 10k in her account, her inlaws would probably pressure her to move the money jointly with her husband or even hand it over for "safe keeping".
      Yes and now her dad's had enough of this. He's spent a lot already and now he says he wont bother with S anymore.

      Quote Originally Posted by aali.m View Post
      OMG thats so horrible, Ok I get the husbund loves and wants to respect his parents but the wife has rights too! I mean why dont they stick up for there wife, its unbeliavble...
      The husband believes that the girl's parents have a right to give them everything. Recently he mentioned how his friend got a Gucci watch from his wife ( the girl's parents paid- this point was heavily emphasised on).

      Quote Originally Posted by blackforest_360 View Post
      what's the girls reaction to all this

      i'm gonna use pcg's adored phrase and say the husband needs to grow some balls.

      i think the girl's parents need to stop babysitting all of them
      The girl doesn't mind asking her parents for anything. She's quite ahppy to do that and this is the annoying part She lets them use her and doesn't really speak up.
      Hamain maat dhondna duniya ki bheed main... Hum milein ge tumhain tumhari parchayi main



    11. #11
      vamp1r3
      Depressed
       

      blackforest_360's Avatar
      Join Date
      Sep 29, 2005
      Location
      United States Inc.
      Posts
      9,124
      Blogs
      835
      Mentioned
      6 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      ok then it really isn't a problem until her mom and dad run out of money, then i guess everyone is screwed
      verily we all die inevitably.

    12. #12
      Senior Member
      ----
       

      mama ki dua's Avatar
      Join Date
      Feb 28, 2008
      Location
      Dunia main
      Posts
      11,811
      Blogs
      77
      Mentioned
      1 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      There is a prob because her dad doesnt like it. He gave her what he could. She goes home and starts taking my friend's things that her mom bought for her wedding. Her mom can't even say no but it's annoying for the sisters who don't want to give their things to her.
      Hamain maat dhondna duniya ki bheed main... Hum milein ge tumhain tumhari parchayi main



    13. #13
      Senior Member
      ----
       


      Join Date
      Mar 19, 2009
      Posts
      519
      Mentioned
      0 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      ^ funny isn't it? I've noticed that desi men, and this is evident in the movies as well, feel so strongly about their "mardaangi" or masculinity and manliness. Yet, pressuring your wife and her parents to buy you the necessities of a household is NOT manly, let alone respectable.

      Ironic isn't it that guys in general feel it's a blow to their manly ego if the girl dares to even suggest paying for the meal on a date. Yet, they won't hesitate to bully their wives into pressuring her parents to buy things for him and his greedy parents. Forget character, where is your damn pride? And it's sad that the parents of such guys don't sit down and think how they'd feel if their own daughter was being pressured in this way. It's despicable. Asking your wife to maybe get a job to support the expenses is okay. Bullying is not. For such unmanly desi guys, the insult, "Ghar main baith kar chooriyan pehan lo" is a fitting slap in the face.

    14. #14
      vamp1r3
      Depressed
       

      blackforest_360's Avatar
      Join Date
      Sep 29, 2005
      Location
      United States Inc.
      Posts
      9,124
      Blogs
      835
      Mentioned
      6 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      Quote Originally Posted by mama ki dua View Post
      There is a prob because her dad doesnt like it. He gave her what he could. She goes home and starts taking my friend's things that her mom bought for her wedding. Her mom can't even say no but it's annoying for the sisters who don't want to give their things to her.
      then her parents need to speak up and lay down the law

      explain to the couple that they are now grown ups and should own up to responsibilities, and not give them any money
      verily we all die inevitably.

    15. #15
      Senior Member
      ----
       

      mama ki dua's Avatar
      Join Date
      Feb 28, 2008
      Location
      Dunia main
      Posts
      11,811
      Blogs
      77
      Mentioned
      1 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      Magic: I so agree with you.
      Hamain maat dhondna duniya ki bheed main... Hum milein ge tumhain tumhari parchayi main



    16. #16
      Senior Member
      ----
       

      mama ki dua's Avatar
      Join Date
      Feb 28, 2008
      Location
      Dunia main
      Posts
      11,811
      Blogs
      77
      Mentioned
      1 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      Blackforest: The mother doesn't understand. She sends stuff without the father's knowledge.
      Hamain maat dhondna duniya ki bheed main... Hum milein ge tumhain tumhari parchayi main



    17. #17
      Senior Member
      ----
       

      Brit Chick's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jan 14, 2004
      Posts
      1,377
      Blogs
      45
      Mentioned
      3 Post(s)
      Tagged
      1 Thread(s)
      And you're posting your friends problems online because..........?

    18. #18
      Senior Member
      ----
       


      Join Date
      Mar 19, 2009
      Posts
      519
      Mentioned
      0 Post(s)
      Tagged
      0 Thread(s)
      ^ So? Are problems not based upon real life scenarios? Aren't dramas, books, and movies based on real life situations? Has MKD mentioned the name of this friend? If we were to run into this friend, by some strange miracle, would we know with 100% certainty that she is MKD's friend? No, we wouldn't. If "backbiting" is your issue, then wouldn't ALL the threads in the Life and Relationships forum be considered as "backbiting" then? And if one is going to deem the creators of these problem-ridden threads as morally wrong, then shouldn't the ones who visit and READ the threads also be deemed guilty? Because listening or reading would be just as wrong wouldn't it? If we're going to start admonishing for such things, then where should we draw the line? In that case, you could pose the question "what's the need to talk about your husband, parents, friend?" about every other thread in this forum.

      She posted simply to get perspectives and to provide food for thought.
      Last edited by Magic 8 Ball; Nov 15th, 2009 at 08:00 PM.

    Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast