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    1. #1
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      Bathsheba's Avatar
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      I have been married 4 months , my husband is a nice person he loves me very much but my problem is that that i am a crazy , funny, party girl, i like to socialize and have fun and talk alot.. my husband on the other hand is soooo quite he just dont have anything to talk about .. currently we ar eliving in seperate states we havent started living together coz of some jobs situations but inshallah soon we will so when we talk on the phone i am the one who usually generates converstationa and if i am quite then there is nothing to talk about we just listen to each others breath on the phone and this is crazyyyyyyyyy... its annoys me sooo much.. i have cousins who ar esooo funny, crazy, my type and i love talking to them on the phone chat in person and what ever and even if there is nothing to talk about we can still generate conversations for hours but its never like that with my husband...he is 12 years older than me but i have always liked older men, but i have other cousins who are old and we get along sooo well ...i have talked to him several times about why he doesnt talk much and he bores me and blah blah blah and he thinks that he talks alot....when we are together we are fine but it just seems that he is tooo boring.. and specially when i talk to my other cousins who are awsome then i even feel worse that y cant he be like them.... what should i do to make him be like me ... i dont think he can be , he is just not the kind of person, he dont have any sense of humor,like if i dont talk he can go for hours with out talking..sometimes i think i married the wrong person he is just not like me but there is nothing else wrong with him..he is just too boring soorry people i had to Vent... suggestions or any people who feel like me .. Thanks for listening.

    2. #2
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      sorry i didnt know how did i post this thread in fashion and beauty can it be moved to relationships please. Thanks

    3. #3
      TLK
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      Quote Originally Posted by Bathsheba View Post
      I have been married 4 months , my husband is a nice person he loves me very much but my problem is that that i am a crazy , funny, party girl, i like to socialize and have fun and talk alot.. my husband on the other hand is soooo quite he just dont have anything to talk about .. currently we ar eliving in seperate states we havent started living together coz of some jobs situations but inshallah soon we will so when we talk on the phone i am the one who usually generates converstationa and if i am quite then there is nothing to talk about we just listen to each others breath on the phone and this is crazyyyyyyyyy... its annoys me sooo much.. i have cousins who ar esooo funny, crazy, my type and i love talking to them on the phone chat in person and what ever and even if there is nothing to talk about we can still generate conversations for hours but its never like that with my husband...he is 12 years older than me but i have always liked older men, but i have other cousins who are old and we get along sooo well ...i have talked to him several times about why he doesnt talk much and he bores me and blah blah blah and he thinks that he talks alot....when we are together we are fine but it just seems that he is tooo boring.. and specially when i talk to my other cousins who are awsome then i even feel worse that y cant he be like them.... what should i do to make him be like me ... i dont think he can be , he is just not the kind of person, he dont have any sense of humor,like if i dont talk he can go for hours with out talking..sometimes i think i married the wrong person he is just not like me but there is nothing else wrong with him..he is just too boring soorry people i had to Vent... suggestions or any people who feel like me .. Thanks for listening.
      I could almost see your hubby starting a thread titled 'immature wife' ...

      'I love my wife but maybe because of the age difference, i find her not mature enough. She likes to party too much and does not take things very seriously. To her, life is still a playground. I dont want to come between her and her fun but maybe she needs to understand that married life comes with certain responsibilities and requires some seriousness ....and more'
      There is no such thing as good evil or bad evil. There is only one kind. We know it as Taliban.

    4. #4
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      njgal's Avatar
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      your hubby is a boar? not nice
      A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

    5. #5
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      Nisha25's Avatar
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      how long did you spend together, getting to know each other before you two said "kabool hai" to being life partners?
      Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. 8:7

    6. #6
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      Quote Originally Posted by njgal View Post
      your hubby is a boar? not nice
      You beat me to it

    7. #7
      TLK
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      sawal ka jawaab do, spelling ka mazaaq nahi uRaa'o
      There is no such thing as good evil or bad evil. There is only one kind. We know it as Taliban.

    8. #8
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      why did you marry him?

    9. #9
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      Someone please correct the spelling before more people start making fun of the poor girl.

      Life is not all fun and games, its good for one partner to be mature and serious..... and please do not compare him with your cousins, etc.
      He's your husband, he will be there to take care of you through thick and thin, to share your sorrows and happiness..... as long as he's caring and a good man, he will keep you happy..... who cares if he can't crack jokes and make you laugh. Have you tried having any serious discussions with him? Maybe he likes talking politics or world affairs, he probably has different interests than you do.... have you tried asking him what he would like to talk about?
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    10. #10
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      well we are cousins so we knew each other from along time ..but really didnt meet too much coz of long distances... and no i am a very mature and responsible person...infact a have had alot of responsibilities in a young age...so he cannot say that i am immature... sorry for the spelling mistake loll ya he is a bore lollll

    11. #11
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      Is your "boring husband" a deal breaker for you? I don't think he's going to change at this stage in his life. Usually, people become more reserved and conservative as they grow older. I say you gotta suck it up and deal with it.
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    12. #12
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      Sighhhhhh......

    13. #13
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      Gaia's Avatar
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      One thing you have to understand is some people are just not phone people. So how he acts on the phone doesn't necessarily mean that's how he is in real life, and you even stated that in your post, "...................when we are together we are fine."

      Second thing is everyone has their own interests and activities which they think are fun. So when you guys move-in together, why not surprise him with one of his favorite activities.

      I truly think opposites attract but they have to work at it. You really don't want him to be exactly like you, then life in general will just become boring.

    14. #14
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      You are an extrovert and your husband seems more like an introvert. You may like older men......but older men come in various personalities that may or may not be compatible with yours. Did you not pick up or notice his introversion...sense of humor during the rishta meets or engagement period? At that time, you could have ended things, if you thought it wouldn't work out.

      Comparing him to your older cousins is not gong to help matters. He's an individual. You say that things are fine when the two of your are physically together......and I think that's more important. Some people are just not good at talking on the phone or online...and are more comfortable interacting in person.

      You can't "change" your husband to make him "more like you." You married an individual.....your spouse will not be a clone of yourself. He might think YOU are a bit "out there" and need to calm down a bit. Things may improve once you both start living together. As far as conversations on the phone are concerned.......I don't think there's anything wrong with being quiet or by yourself for some time. It gives you a chance to reflect over things and think them over thoroughly. Some quiet/alone time is healthy........I, for one appreciate and need it, being with a chatterbox all the time can also get frustrating.

      You can try asking him open-ended questions that would require him to actually talk/explain......as opposed to giving one-word "yes" or "no" answers. Ask him about things that interest him. If he communicates better online, then that's an option to consider as well. Can either of you take a short break from work and go visit one another? Or....perhaps visit on the weekends? That may help put things back on track.

    15. #15
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      solution:sex

      i heard it`s pretty exciting

    16. #16
      Darbaan
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      I do buk buk only here on GS . In real life I am a man of few words. My phone calls to home or from home are very short and to the point. That does not necessarily make me a bore. I take my family out for picnics , vacations , movies. We eat out . We watch TV together . We go out to watch movies. We rent movies to watch at home. We visit people and invite them over. We have BBQs in our yard . We play games. Some times I cook something and engage the family in that . We go out for walks in the evenings although we do chit chat but we do not talk all along that walk.
      Fools never disagree.

    17. #17
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      why do you want to 'make' him like you....???
      You can never change a person,just so that you know...
      It's better to light a candle ,than to curse the darkness.

    18. #18
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      Quote Originally Posted by Bathsheba View Post
      well we are cousins so we knew each other from along time ..but really didnt meet too much coz of long distances... and no i am a very mature and responsible person...infact a have had alot of responsibilities in a young age...so he cannot say that i am immature... sorry for the spelling mistake loll ya he is a bore lollll
      i can understand your situation of being an extrovert and him being a major introvert but is he a goodhearted person, when you were together physically, did he treat you well? and obviously he treated your family well b/c you two are cousins. since you're already married stay positive he might just not be a phone person, maybe he's more lively in person
      Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. 8:7

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