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    1. #1
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      not literally that i ask him for it...but if we have a fight and he ignores me,i keep on crying while he is sleeping peacefully..all the day i think about him and he doesn't seem to care..silent treatment does not work anymore..I hate and I actually hate myself for being so cranky and nagging and fighting my husband or doing silly and extremely silly things to get his attention.."the more i want him,the less he wants me",that is what i have concluded..he fulfills all his responsibilities of a husband..he is caring and loving at times and i understand it can't be like that all the time....but y do i have to think about him all the time....i don't want this...i am working now but still when i come back home,its all the same..i mean its not that i don't have any other activity..

      same happens when he is being nice to his own family,he is similarly nice to me too but I somehow feel he is not giving me attention..I am such a silly insecure stupid person...I admit it,,Please tell me how can i have some self-respect and how can i avoid thinking about him only and how can i avoid looking at his face all the time for his "one pyar bhari nazer"..it sounds crazy i know..but i am helpless...plz plz plz tell me what should i do?

      and please i really want sincere and serious advices..i am really upset

    2. #2
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      make friends, talk to your own family more often..plan out shopping trips and basically keep yourself busy..
      Demilitarize likes this.
      Train this chaos, turn it into light . . .

    3. #3
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      Peace cute ainee

      Human beings will not fulfil your needs ever ... Turn to the Creator for your needs - when a person is begging for attention it means they are starving themselves of remembrance. If you remember Him, then He will remember you and if that happens then your needs pass away ...

      The brilliant side effect is that your hubby will need you and when he does then it will be doubly good for you ... Don't panic or get anxiety ... turn to Him who never turns away from you.
      *H&NK*, Kinzz, R.A.W. and 7 others like this.
      The Prophet(SAW) said:
      "I am leaving you two things and you will never go astray as long as you cling to them -- they are the Book of Allah and my Sunnah." [Reported by Al- Haakim - Sahih].

    4. #4
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      you show your displeasure by ignoring him and withholding 'favours'. he'll come to you begging!
      aajkaa qaul
      hameN jaane anjaane meN ya apni kam ilmi ke baais deen meN aisi koi baat nahiN kahni chaahiye jis par Allah hamaari pakaR kar le. hameN is silsile se bahot moHtaat rahnaa chaahiye

    5. #5
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      Well i wouldn't suggest showing displeasure. But keep yourself busy. Go to gym etc. Do something nice for both of you which he appreciates. He will come to you himself. See about us guys is that..the more you are going chase us..the more we going to run away. On other hand..we are natural chasers if we don't get attention we will come to you. So wish you best eh!
      Last edited by Xtron; Dec 12th, 2011 at 12:59 PM.
      "Jab sharafat ke kapray otartai hain tu sab se zyada maza shareefon ko hi ata hai"

    6. #6
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      Quote Originally Posted by psyah View Post
      ... turn to Him who never turns away from you.

      Peace Psyah.

      Beautiful words there.
      ashykh likes this.
      I'm sarcastic because it is the body's natural defense against stupid.

    7. #7
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      He is your husband...why are you so insecure? Shaadi to hogayi...lol.

      You need to really get a hobby and stop paying sooo much attention every time he breathes.
      Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames. ~ Rumi

    8. #8
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      Quote Originally Posted by Reha;8615691[I
      ]He is your husband...why are you so insecure?[/I] Shaadi to hogayi...lol.

      You need to really get a hobby and stop paying sooo much attention every time he breathes.
      yeah thats what i am trying to figure out...that was the last thing i ever wanted for me as a wife,running after my husband all the time...i don't know what makes me feel so insecure,i don't know if that's the right word for me..as all i want is his attention and care all the time,just for me...i know it sounds childish,selfish but thats what i want to get rid of!

    9. #9
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      Quote Originally Posted by cute ainee View Post
      yeah thats what i am trying to figure out...that was the last thing i ever wanted for me as a wife,running after my husband all the time...i don't know what makes me feel so insecure,i don't know if that's the right word for me..as all i want is his attention and care all the time,just for me...i know it sounds childish,selfish but thats what i want to get rid of!
      You need to direct your energy towards something else...that is the only real solution here. I wish there was something I could tell that would be easier but it isn't.

      Find something to keep you occupied...projects...sewing, painting, remodeling, classes, working out, etc etc etc.

      You should care for him but not obsess about him.
      Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames. ~ Rumi

    10. #10
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      Paheli00's Avatar
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      I agree with Reha. You need to keep yourself busy.

      How many hours a week do you work? 40? And other than work....what other activity do you do to keep yourself busy?

    11. #11
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      you can't be insecure like that just for no reason.....

      try to find the cause........work on that

      shopping, ignoring,silent treaments etc.........are only temporary solution and symptomatic treatment.

    12. #12
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      cute ainee - The attention you want to receive from your husband is never going to get diluted by absorbing yourself in other activities, it is not as though you are bored ... you just want him to do something. Some men realise their "duty" to their wives others don't ... As a couple - you people are required to understand each other's needs ...

      You can play a game with him one day ...

      The rules are easy ... tell him to write two things he like about you and two things he would like more about you if you had them ... you do the same with him - but only play the game if you are both serious ... exchange the notes and you both try really hard to meet the wishes of the other ... turning your heartache into a game takes the edge off and you can tell him more easily that way what your needs are ... however ... for a surety you are looking for attention - that can be given to you by hubby but peace can only come from Him - Your Creator.
      The Prophet(SAW) said:
      "I am leaving you two things and you will never go astray as long as you cling to them -- they are the Book of Allah and my Sunnah." [Reported by Al- Haakim - Sahih].

    13. #13
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      its good that you shared CA. I hope it helped. Now, nothing will do until you realise that every thing needs a balance. Maybe this is what your marital relationship needs too. Its good if both the partners are possessive about eachother, but if its one way, it is bound to creat frustration. May be you need to give this a serious thought yourself. You are your best friend and advisor.
      Let the Sea be my mother, and the Moon my father;
      I will swim with the mermaids forever thereafter....

    14. #14
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      do u drive..? do you work? do you have friends? how do you spend your day tapically?

      like people already saying u need to keep urself busy... its VERY important....no matter how much you are hurt from inside, NEVER ever show him from your face that you are depriving for his attention ..... if there are things to do which both of you enjoy together then plan for them in advance and if there are not, then simply show him you got things to do on your own and you are very happy from him and as well as from your lifestyle.....like Xtron already mentioned " WE are natural chasers if we don't get attention" is the key thing to remember ...
      Majbori ka dosra naam 'Shukriya'

    15. #15
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      Obviously your description of your relationship doesn't explain too much about your dynamic with him, but is it possible that you're too clingy and needy and that makes your husband feel suffocated? Being responsible for another person (like in a married relationship) is an enormous responsibility, but if you you crowd him 24/7 and he doesn't have any space for himself, it might make him resent you and run in the opposite direction.
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      A cause may be inconvenient, but it's magnificent. It's like champagne or high heels, and one must be prepared to suffer for it ~ Arnold Bennet

    16. #16
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      give him some SPACE
      Are you planning on shampooing these dirty koalas?

    17. #17
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      Quote Originally Posted by psyah View Post
      Peace cute ainee

      Human beings will not fulfil your needs ever ... Turn to the Creator for your needs - when a person is begging for attention it means they are starving themselves of remembrance. If you remember Him, then He will remember you and if that happens then your needs pass away ...

      The brilliant side effect is that your hubby will need you and when he does then it will be doubly good for you ... Don't panic or get anxiety ... turn to Him who never turns away from you.
      ^THIS!!!

      Quote Originally Posted by ShahreyarKhan View Post
      give him some SPACE
      ^AND THAT!!!
      The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams - Eleanor Roosevelt

    18. #18
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      Quote Originally Posted by ShahreyarKhan View Post
      give him some SPACE
      Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames. ~ Rumi

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