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  • User Tag List

    Results 1 to 17 of 17
    1. #1
      Ngise'Khaya
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      Don't give me cultural crap, please. Excuse my language. i am not talking about what's acceptable by Pakistani standards, or desi standards, or your cultural standards. According to Islam, and Islam only, when is it permissible to disobey your parents - bearing in mind you are not committing a sin in the sense of anything like stealing/lying/ blah blah blah.

      Thanks.

    2. #2
      ~Dream Quasher~

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      ahmadjee's Avatar
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      In matters of faith! As you and they are responsible for our own actions and beliefs, not each others.

      That means if your mother gives you Unda everyday or cooks you Karaylay once a week, you are to eat it! No buts.

    3. #3
      Ngise'Khaya
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      "In matters of faith!"

      AhmadJee, Is faith not manifested in a diversity of ways? Every action can be a step of faith. Even studying can be an act of ibadat if you make the proper niyat in your heart before it. So if i do something - not a sin, mind you - and i make a niyat for it and i believe in my heart it can also be an act of faith, it is one step in my overall ibadat - then would it be permissible for me to disobey my parents in the above example? And i am not saying it is simply an act of faith because i am trying to justify my position....but what if i really DO believe it is an act of faith ?

      lol @ unda/karaylay... i'll eat those, i don't mind.

    4. #4
      ~Dream Quasher~

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      ahmadjee's Avatar
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      Yes, it would.

      Though most often than not, I seem to drag Allah into meeting my own desires while arguing with my parents. So, my advice won’t be a good one anyway.

    5. #5
      Ngise'Khaya
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      No worries i will take your advice for whatever it may be worth! It means something to me. Thanks for the input.

    6. #6
      ~Dream Quasher~

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      ahmadjee's Avatar
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      A good example on matters of faith would be, if you consider a particular religion to be true while your parents disagree, you are allowed to disobey. Or if they force you to worship in a way that you think isn't right, it's ok to disobey. But if you don't like the college or the major your parents have picked out for you, you are out of luck ... unless you are like me and can argue till they give up.

    7. #7
      Ngise'Khaya
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      Originally posted by ahmadjee:
      But if you don't like the college or the major your parents have picked out for you, you are out of luck ... unless you are like me and can argue till they give up.


      hm back up the horses there

      i asked an Islamic scholar about that, actually... and he said that in that particular case [as long as your intended major isn't something like modelling or the technique of wine distillation ] then infact it is permitted to disobey your parents. i got it from a reputable Islamic scholar whose name i don't remember now because this occurred 3, 4 years ago. But according to him, it was permitted to disobey one's parents in THAT particular example above.

      :~/

    8. #8
      ~Dream Quasher~

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      ahmadjee's Avatar
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      Well, you know ... I don't agree with most Muslims scholors.

    9. #9
      Ngise'Khaya
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      drat. Why can't you just say what i want you to say, agree with me, and just say i'm right?


      hehe just joshin . *sigh* Thanks anyways, AhmadJee.

    10. #10
      Senior Monster
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      Originally posted by Nadia_H:
      [/b]

      hm back up the horses there

      i asked an Islamic scholar about that, actually... and he said that in that particular case [as long as your intended major isn't something like modelling or the technique of wine distillation ] then infact it is permitted to disobey your parents. i got it from a reputable Islamic scholar whose name i don't remember now because this occurred 3, 4 years ago. But according to him, it was permitted to disobey one's parents in THAT particular example above.

      :~/
      I am afraid I totally disagree with scholar(if infact he gave that permission).

      Strictly Islamically It is not allowed to disobey parents specially mother;Until it is a mater of disobedience of Allah. In all other matters if you think they disagree with you on some matter, then you can convince them.Thats all.
      Bazinggaaaa ....

    11. #11
      قادمون يا الاقصى
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      bao bihari's Avatar
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      Originally posted by Code_Red:


      I am afraid I totally disagree with scholar(if infact he gave that permission).

      Strictly Islamically It is not allowed to disobey parents specially mother ;Until it is a mater of disobedience of Allah. In all other maters if you think they disagree with you on some matter, then you can convince them.Thats all.
      i agree......
      لا عيش إلا عيش الآخرة
      Peace loving terrorist

    12. #12
      Eik Pagal se laRki
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      Question :


      My parents won’t let me shorten my lower garments (so that they do not come down below my ankles). Should I obey them or not?.



      Answer :

      Praise be to Allaah.

      Allaah has commanded us to honour our parents in many places in His Book, such as when He says (interpretation of the meaning):

      “And We have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents; but if they strive to make you join with Me (in worship) anything (as a partner) of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not. Unto Me is your return and I shall tell you what you used to do”

      [al-‘Ankaboot 29:8]

      The greatest of rights are the rights of Allaah, after which come the rights of created beings, foremost among which are the rights of parents. Hence Allaah mentions His rights and parents’ rights together in many verses of the Holy Qur’aan, such as when He says (interpretation of the meaning):

      “And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.”

      [al-Isra’ 17:23]

      Obeying parents is obligatory unless they enjoin sin, in which case they should not be obeyed. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience towards the Creator.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4340; Muslim, 1840; Ahmad, 1098. Isbaal or letting the lower garment hang below the ankles is a major sin, so you should not obey them if they tell you to do that. But you can wear your clothes at the longest permissible length so that they do not touch the ankles, then you will not be disobeying your Lord by doing that, and you will not be going against your parents’ wishes, because it is not a condition of shortening the lower garment that it should be at mid-calf length, rather you can obey the rule of sharee’ah by not letting your clothes touch your ankles.

      If they insist that your clothes should be longer than ankle length, then speak to them nicely and try to convince them, but do not disobey Allaah for their sake by letting your clothes hang below the ankles.

      Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez Aal al-Shaykh was asked:

      What is the ruling on isbaal (letting the clothes hang below the ankles)? Is it permissible to obey my father when he wants me to let my clothes hang below the ankles?

      He replied:

      Isbaal is haraam, indeed it is one of the major sins. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever allows his garment to trail along the ground out of pride, Allaah will not look at him on the Day of Resurrection.” And he mentioned the three whom Allaah will not look at on the Day of Resurrection or praise them, and theirs will be a painful torment, among whom is the one who allows his garment to hang below his ankles. The one who does this is disobeying Allaah and transgressing His sacred limits, so he has to repent to Allaah. He will be punished because Allaah will not look at him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will be punished because he is given a warning of Hell fire, which indicates that isbaal is one of the major sins, Moreover there is nothing good in isbaal, because it damages the clothes and may make the person stumble, as ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) said to the young man whom he saw allowing his garment to hang below his ankles – who came to visit ‘Umar in his final sickness – “O young man, lift up your lower garment for it will make your garment last longer and is more obedient to your Lord.”

      With regard to obeying your parents, parents are not to be obeyed if that involves disobeying Allaah. If they tell you to let your garment hang below your ankles, then you should disobey them, because isbaal is a major sin and there is no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience towards the Creator.

      Fataawah Majallat al-Da’wah, issue no. 1741

      And Allaah knows best.



      Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com)


    13. #13
      Eik Pagal se laRki
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      Question :


      My parents have told me to stop being friends with good people, and not to travel with them to do ‘Umrah. Please note that I am on my way to becoming religiously committed. Do I have to obey them in this matter?.


      Answer :

      Praise be to Allaah.

      You do not have to obey them in disobeying Allaah or in anything that will adversely affect you, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Obedience is only with regard to what is right and proper,” and “There is no obedience to any created being if it involves disobedience towards the Creator.” The person who tells you not to be friends with good people is not to be obeyed, whether they are your parents or anyone else. You should not obey anyone who tells you to be friends with bad people either. But you should speak to your parents in a good manner and in a way that is better, such as saying “These are good people, I benefit a lot from them, I am fond of them and I am learning a lot from them.” You should respond to them with kind words and good manners, and not be harsh with them. If they tell you not to be friends with them, do not tell them that you are seeking out good people and getting in touch with them, or that you have gone places with them if they do not approve of that. You only have to obey them with regard to acts of worship and what is good and proper.
      If they tell you to make friends with bad people, or they tell you to smoke or drink alcohol or commit adultery, or other sins, then do not obey them or anyone else who tells you to do such things, because of the two hadeeth quoted above. And Allaah is the Source of strength


      Majmoo’ Fataawa wa Maqaalaat li’l-Shaykh Ibn Baaz, 6/126 (www.islam-qa.com)

    14. #14
      Eik Pagal se laRki
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      Question :


      What is more important for a muslim man, to obey his parents or work for ummah?.
      Im asking this question because my husband has chosen to work to help other muslims with their deen and his parents do not agree. His father wants him to go back home and get a job on his original profession. I do not know what to do since his father wants me to convince my husband to do so. I am the only one in the family who supports my husband's choices for the sake of Allah. I have renounced my rights as a wife to allow him to proceed with his work. We have some difficulties, but Alhamdulillah, we are doing fine by the mercy of Allah SWT.
      What should be my behaviour? I do not wnat to disobey my father-in-law but I do not want to interfere in my husband's choices for life. We both have agreed with a simple life.



      Click here to get a printable version

      Question :


      What is more important for a muslim man, to obey his parents or work for ummah?.
      Im asking this question because my husband has chosen to work to help other muslims with their deen and his parents do not agree. His father wants him to go back home and get a job on his original profession. I do not know what to do since his father wants me to convince my husband to do so. I am the only one in the family who supports my husband's choices for the sake of Allah. I have renounced my rights as a wife to allow him to proceed with his work. We have some difficulties, but Alhamdulillah, we are doing fine by the mercy of Allah SWT.
      What should be my behaviour? I do not wnat to disobey my father-in-law but I do not want to interfere in my husband's choices for life. We both have agreed with a simple life.

      Answer :

      Praise be to Allaah.

      Firstly:

      There is no doubt that Allaah has enjoined obedience towards parents. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):




      “Say (O Muhammad): ‘Come, I will recite what your Lord has prohibited you from: Join not anything in worship with Him; be good and dutiful to your parents; kill not your children because of poverty’ — We provide sustenance for you and for them. Come not near to Al-Fawaahish (shameful sins and illegal sexual intercourse) whether committed openly or secretly; and kill not anyone whom Allaah has forbidden, except for a just cause (according to Islamic law). This He has commanded you that you may understand”

      [al-An’aam 6:151]



      It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: A man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, who is most deserving of my good companionship?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Your father.”

      (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5626; Muslim, 2548).

      It is haraam to disobey one's parents. It was narrated that al-Mugheerah ibn Shu’bah said: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Allaah has forbidden you to disobey your mothers, to bury infant girls alive, to withhold the rights of others, to demand what is not rightfully yours, to pass on everything that you hear, to ask too many questions and to waste money.”

      (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2277; Muslim, 593)

      Working for Islam is obligatory upon a Muslim as much as he is able to. Your husband may have to stay in the country to serve the Muslims, teach them and take care of their affairs. Therefore your husband should not go back to his country and give up calling people to Allaah and working for the ummah. A man asked Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him):

      For a number of years I have been teaching people to memorize Qur’aan in a place far away from the city in which my parents live, and they are asking me to stop teaching and work with one of my brothers who live with them. I am hesitant about this matter because I am afraid that if I stop teaching, the students will be neglected and will forget the Qur’aan that they have memorized. What to you advise me to do? May Allaah reward you with good.

      He replied:

      We advise you to continue teaching Qur’aan memorization, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The best of you are those who learn the Qur’aan and teach it to others” (narrated by Imaam al-Bukhaari in his Saheeh); and because that is in the general interests of the Muslims. You do not have to obey your parents in giving that up, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Obedience is only with regard to what is good and proper.” But it is prescribed for you to explain that to them in a kind and polite manner.

      And Allaah is the Source of strength.



      Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn Baaz, 5/412

      Secondly:

      Your husband could obey his parents and return to his country if there is someone who could take his place in working for Islam there and if there is also a need to work for Islam in the country where his family is. In this manner he can do two things at once, fulfilling his father’s wishes and also working for Islam. His own country may be in greater need, and his staying in the country where he is now may not allow him to practise Islam openly or raise his children in Islam.

      But if your husband will be coming back to work in his specialty without working for Islam, then you should be on his side and encourage him to stay and work for Islam. Undoubtedly this will be good for you in religious terms, if not in worldly terms. For what is with Allaah is better and more lasting. We should also note that a person is not like a candle and should not burn himself to provide light for others. If the environment in which he is does not help him to obey Allaah and give your children a sound Islamic upbringing, then try to change it and move to a good environment where your children can grow up in Islam. May Allaah help us all to do that which He loves and which pleases Him. And Allaah knows best.



      Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com)




    15. #15
      Senior Member
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      nice fatwa/s u posted there swera really answers the query in length i suppose
      La Ilaha Illalla Muhammed Ur Rasoolullah

    16. #16
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      Originally posted by Nadia_H:
      Don't give me cultural crap, please. Excuse my language. i am not talking about what's acceptable by Pakistani standards, or desi standards, or your cultural standards. According to Islam, and Islam only, when is it permissible to disobey your parents - bearing in mind you are not committing a sin in the sense of anything like stealing/lying/ blah blah blah.

      Thanks.
      http://www.gupistan.com/forums/showt...threadid=43162

      http://www.gupistan.com/forums/showt...threadid=43148

    17. #17
      SalmanNY

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      Excellent post nida, Very informative
      -Salman