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    Results 1 to 18 of 165
    1. #1
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      1-What does Islam say about having a 'Girlfriend' by a man and having a 'Boyfriend' by a girl?

      2-Is this allowed by islam and is it true that having a girlfriend of boyfriend is directly or indirectly a sin?

      Feel free to define a 'Girlfriend' or 'Boyfriend' as you think.

      3- My other question is that....... Is it possible to have a 'platonic' (or platoonic) relationship between a man or a woman (male and a female)?
      Last edited by deedawar; May 19th, 2006 at 04:03 PM.

    2. #2
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      Depends on too many factors, but generally, the common beleif is that it is not allowed.

      It is often thought that all relationships that lead to forbidden sex are themselves forbidden, although some people believe only the actual act of sex is what is forbidden and not the relationship.
      Youth is wasted on the young.

    3. #3
      senorita miembro
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      Sara516's Avatar
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      Seriously? lol..

      No bfs/gfs (in th Paki/western sense) are not allowed. Platonic relationships, that may be pushing it, so I woudldn't say no way.. Generally speaking to fiance is allowed
      The grass ain't always greener on the other side, it's green where you water it.

    4. #4
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      Quote Originally Posted by Pakap
      Depends on too many factors, but generally, the common beleif is that it is not allowed.

      It is often thought that all relationships that lead to forbidden sex are themselves forbidden, although some people believe only the actual act of sex is what is forbidden and not the relationship.
      So, its fine to have relationship as long as sex does not occur..according to some people? This means platonic relationship is allowed by some.

      What does islam say?

    5. #5
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      In Islam there is no such thing as premarital relationships. It is Haraam. It's clear and cut. We are in the real world and real life given by Allah, we should respect it ant NOT act as if it's a hindi movie.

    6. #6
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      yeah...to my understanding...we shud always lower our gaze towards women that we can possibly marry. if u do dat...i dont think relationship is even possible.
      If you look in the mirror and don't like what you see you can find out first hand what it's like to be me.

    7. #7
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      Things have dramatically changed for the last couple of years. I belive that at all comes down to what a person feels about another individual. We live in a society where communication with the opposite sex is compuslory at some point of our lives. But as for a having a relationship with the opposite sex is concerned, this is indeed forbidden in Islam. Someone has said "So, its fine to have relationship as long as sex does not occur". Sex becomes ineivtable after, belive me I kid you not a person might start off by saying that I know my boundries and I will not cross them, but Satan is able to drive people to commmit unlawful acts which results in major sin. I belive that as far as relationships are concered its best to avoid them.

    8. #8
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      Quote Originally Posted by deedawar
      So, its fine to have relationship as long as sex does not occur..according to some people? This means platonic relationship is allowed by some.

      What does islam say?
      In Islam it is not allowed...PERIOD! who cares what "some people say". People say all kinds of things to justify their own actions.

      In Islam you cant make what is haraam (prohibited) halal (permissible)and viice versa.

      Quranic Verses:

      "Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and protect their private parts. That is purer for them. Verily Allah is All-Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and protect their private parts........" (24:30-31)

      this is verse makes it very clear that a girlfriend boyfriend relationship is not allowed since it is not possible to lower one's gaze in such a relationship.

    9. #9
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      A girlfriend is a 'friend' who happens to be a girl? Or A girlfriend is a 'girl' who happens to be a friend fulfilling the friendly needs? OR niether of these?

      I think girlfriend and boyfriend do need to be defined in clear sense so we can understand what exactly are we talking about.

    10. #10
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      Quote Originally Posted by Shazab
      .............. ............ Sex becomes ineivtable after, belive me I kid you not ........................

      Thanks for the thought. I know many will deny this sentence.

    11. #11
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      Quote Originally Posted by Sara516
      Seriously? lol..

      No bfs/gfs (in th Paki/western sense) are not allowed. Platonic relationships, that may be pushing it, so I woudldn't say no way.. Generally speaking to fiance is allowed
      Can fiance take the advantage of the relation prematurely?

    12. #12
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      Even a fiance isn't really a "fiancee" in the Western sense, that you can talk, meet, have fun with him etc etc.. i've read before that Islam does not technically recognize the relationship of a fiance, so until they are officially married, they are still na-mehrams (i hope I said that right). But one is allowed ot speak to them with the intent of marriage (and not HS/college type "intent", i.e., "oh yeah baby sure we'll get married--lets have sex--oh this relationship isnt working out). Again i'm not very positive as to how that would work, but this is what I have learned regarding marriage and Islam..

      Islam isn't "difficult" it is practical.. I believe that if you have to speak to a man, be he a professor, employer, coworker, classmate , or someone asking for directions, then it's acceptable, as long as you do not cross the lines. (And then there are some who believe that women shouldn't even go to University or work or have careers but watever). I strongly believe that flirting is NOT allowed; talking to someone, sharing your experiences ot better educate someone on Islam or academics or career is acceptable to me (not sure Islamically though).

      And about having companionship and friendship, if all you need is a friend or companionship, then why not someone of the same gender? :-| I do think that many guy-girl relationships will lead to more if they spend too much time together and shrae too much of themselves (emotionally/mentally, not just physically) together.
      The grass ain't always greener on the other side, it's green where you water it.

    13. #13
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      Quote Originally Posted by Sara516
      Even a fiance isn't really a "fiancee" in the Western sense, that you can talk, meet, have fun with him etc etc.. i've read before that Islam does not technically recognize the relationship of a fiance, so until they are officially married, they are still na-mehrams (i hope I said that right). But one is allowed ot speak to them with the intent of marriage (and not HS/college type "intent", i.e., "oh yeah baby sure we'll get married--lets have sex--oh this relationship isnt working out). Again i'm not very positive as to how that would work, but this is what I have learned regarding marriage and Islam..

      Islam isn't "difficult" it is practical.. I believe that if you have to speak to a man, be he a professor, employer, coworker, classmate , or someone asking for directions, then it's acceptable, as long as you do not cross the lines. (And then there are some who believe that women shouldn't even go to University or work or have careers but watever). I strongly believe that flirting is NOT allowed; talking to someone, sharing your experiences ot better educate someone on Islam or academics or career is acceptable to me (not sure Islamically though).

      And about having companionship and friendship, if all you need is a friend or companionship, then why not someone of the same gender? :-| I do think that many guy-girl relationships will lead to more if they spend too much time together and shrae too much of themselves (emotionally/mentally, not just physically) together.
      Good post. I personally think you used good sincere logic while posting this.

    14. #14
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      Try my best
      The grass ain't always greener on the other side, it's green where you water it.

    15. #15
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      Quote Originally Posted by Sara516
      Try my best
      You did. Thank you.

    16. #16
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      I think the common concept is that girlfriend and boyfriend engage or expected to engage in intimate relation...... true?

    17. #17
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      Quote Originally Posted by deedawar
      I think the common concept is that girlfriend and boyfriend engage or expected to engage in intimate relation...... true?
      possibility is always there.
      To repeat what others have said, requires education, to challenge it, requires brains.
      - Mary Pettibone Poole

    18. #18
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      hey just thought of this, what about a gay man, can he be plutonic friend of women? is it allowed? he can never ask for any sexual relationship.

      or Eunuchs, as we know in old times these people were allowed in the inner sanctums of the kings because they are supposedly harmless. (I doubt that though)
      To repeat what others have said, requires education, to challenge it, requires brains.
      - Mary Pettibone Poole

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