A conversation about hijab

GoldenAsif · Jul 8th, 2009, 06:52 PM

Not sure if this is real or not but I read the following on another site and found it quite interesting

I shall post my own views later

A conversation about hijab

"I'm so tired"
"Tired of what?"

"Of all these people judging me."
"Who judged you?"

"Like that woman, every time I sit with her, she tells me to wear hijab."
"Oh, hijab and music! The mother of all topics!"

"Yeah! I listen to music without hijab.haha!"
"Maybe she was just giving you advice."

"I don't need her advice. I know my religion. Can't she mind her own business?"
"Maybe you misunderstood. She was just being nice."

"Keeping out of my business, that would be nice..."
"But it's her duty to encourage you do to good."

"Trust me. That was no encouragement. And what do you mean 'good' ?"
"Well, wearing hijab, that would be a good thing to do."

"Says who?"
"It's in the Qur'an, isn't it?"

"Yes. She did quote me something."
"She said Surah Nur, and other places of the Qur'an."

"Yes, but it's not a big sin anyway. Helping people and praying is more important."
"True. But big things start with small things."

"That's a good point, but what you wear is not important. What's important is to have a good healthy heart."
"What you wear is not important?"

"That's what I said."
"Then why do you spend an hour every morning fixing up?"

"What do you mean?"
"You spend money on cosmetics, not to mention all the time you spend on fixing your hair and low-carb dieting."

"So?"
"So, your appearance IS important."

"No. I said wearing hijab is not an important thing in religion."
"If it's not an important thing in religion, why is it mentioned in the Holy Qur'an?"

"You know I can't follow all that's in Qur'an."
"You mean God tells you something to do, you disobey and then it's OK?"

"Yes. God is forgiving."
"God is forgiving to those who repent and do not repeat their mistakes."

"Says who?"
"Says the same book that tells you to cover."

"But I don't like hijab, it limits my freedom."
"But the lotions, lipsticks, mascara and other cosmetics set you free?! What's your definition of freedom anyway?"

"Freedom is in doing whatever you like to do."
"No. Freedom is in doing the right thing, not in doing whatever we wish to do."

"Look! I've seen so many people who don't wear hijab and are nice people, and so many who wear hijab and are bad people."
"So what? There are people who are nice to you but are alcoholic. Should we all be alcoholics? You made a stupid point."

"I don't want to be an extremist or a fanatic. I'm OK the way I am without hijab."
"Then you are a secular fanatic. An extremist in disobeying God."

"You don't get it, if I wear hijab, who would marry me?!"
"So all these people with hijab never get married?!"

"Okay! What if I get married and my husband doesn't like it? And wants me to remove it?"
"What if your husband wants you to go out with him on a bank robbery?!"

"That's irrelevant, bank robbery is a crime."
"Disobeying your Creator is not a crime?"

"But then who would hire me?"
"A company that respects people for who they are."

"Not after 9-11"
"Yes. After 9-11. Don't you know about Hanan who just got into med school? And the other one, what was her name, the girl who always wore a white hijab.ummm."

"Yasmeen?"
"Yes. Yasmeen. She just finished her MBA and is now interning for GE."

"Why do you reduce religion to a piece of cloth anyway?"
"Why do you reduce womanhood to high heals and lipstick colors?"

"You didn't answer my question."
"In fact, I did. Hijab is not just a piece of cloth. It is obeying God in a difficult environment. It is courage, faith in action, and true womanhood. But your short sleeves, tight pants."

"That's called 'fashion', you live in a cave or something? First of all, hijab was founded by men who wanted to control women."
"Really? I did not know men could control women by hijab."

"Yes. That's what it is."
"What about the women who fight their husbands to wear hijab? And women in France who are forced to remove their hijab by men? What do you say about that?"

"Well, that's different."
"What difference? The woman who asked you to wear hijab. She was a woman, right?"

"Right, but."
"But fashions that are designed and promoted by male-dominated corporations, set you free? Men have no control on exposing women and using them as a commodity?! Give me a break!"

"Wait, let me finish, I was saying."
"Saying what? You think that men control women by hijab?"

"Yes."
"Specifically how?"

"By telling women how and what to wear, dummy!"
"Doesn't TV, magazines and movies tell you what to wear, and how to be 'attractive'?"

"Of course, it's fashion."
"Isn't that control? Pressuring you to wear what they want you to wear?"

Silence.
"Not just controlling you, but also controlling the market."

"What do you mean?"
"I mean, you are told to look skinny and anorexic like that woman on the cover of the magazine, by men who design those magazines and sell those products."

"I don't get it. What does hijab have to do with products."
"It has everything to do with that. Don't you see? Hijab is a threat to consumerism, women who spend billions of dollars to look skinny and live by standards of fashion designed by men - and then here is Islam, saying trash all that nonsense and focus on your soul, not on your looks, and do not worry what men think of your looks."

"Like I don't have to buy hijab? Isn't hijab a product?"
"Yes, it is. It is a product that sets you free from male-dominated consumer ism ."

"Stop lecturing me! I WILL NOT WEAR HIJAB! It is awkward, outdated, and totally not suitable for this society ... Moreover, I am only 20 and too young to wear hijab!"
"Fine. Say that to your Lord, when you face Him on Judgment Day."

"Fine."
"Fine."

Silence.
"Shut up and I don't want to hear more about hijab niqab schmijab Punjab!"

Silence.

She stared at the mirror, tired of arguing with herself all this time. Successful enough, she managed to shut the voices in her head, with her own opinions triumphant in victory on the matter, and a final modern decision accepted by the society, rejected by the Faith:

Yes to curls or blow-dried hair, no to hijab.

sweet.i.f · Jul 8th, 2009, 07:31 PM

firenze · Jul 8th, 2009, 09:40 PM

oki too much of .. fashion created by men.. what a bs is that...

oki.. back to cave world. .so yeh !

Entisar · Jul 9th, 2009, 06:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoldenAsif

"Doesn't TV, magazines and movies tell you what to wear, and how to be 'attractive'?"

"Of course, it's fashion."
"Isn't that control? Pressuring you to wear what they want you to wear?"

Silence.
"Not just controlling you, but also controlling the market."

"What do you mean?"
"I mean, you are told to look skinny and anorexic like that woman on the cover of the magazine, by men who design those magazines and sell those products."

"I don't get it. What does hijab have to do with products."
"It has everything to do with that. Don't you see?

Hijab is a threat to consumerism,
women who spend billions of dollars to look skinny and live by standards of fashion designed by men - and then here is Islam, saying trash all that nonsense

and focus on your soul, not on your looks, and do not worry what men think of your looks."

The Highlighted Parts Really Thought provoking.

Bery Nice posting , but is Lengthy .

P_G · Jul 9th, 2009, 11:28 AM

great post

AllahkaBanda · Jul 9th, 2009, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by firenze

oki.. back to cave world. .so yeh !

is it just me or the kaffir have lost their common sense!? How covering ourselves is going back to "cave world"? So now that we live in 21st century, moved far away from "cave world", we should stop covering ourselves? Or oblige people to cover themselves?

care to elabrotae on this or is it always going to be typical rant

bob_woolmer · Jul 9th, 2009, 12:03 PM

kehtey hein insan (muslim) k liye ishara hi kafi hota hai, yeh convesation to more than ishara hai. Aur ab b jo na samjay kia woh insan ho sakta hai

islamweb20 · Jul 9th, 2009, 12:50 PM

good points to note

GoldenAsif · Jul 9th, 2009, 09:45 PM

This conversation I posted has nothing to do with proving someone a good muslim or not.

I think the important take-home messages here are:

1. Don't judge people purely by their attire

Hijab perse does not make you naek parveen or a nice person. I know some girls in the UK who wear hijab and date men openly / were at their doctor's asking for morning-after-pill one day!!!

Our religion does not forbid us from wearing anything as long as we cover ourselves up decently and that applies to both men and women. It is not what you wear but how you wear it that is important

2. Don't observe your religious duties just for the sake of it

If despite observing your religious duties, you don't become a better human-being as in being honest, truthful and polite etc. then I am not sure what you are praying & fasting for. In theory it should make you a better person but in reality it does not always hold true. Praying & fasting etc. was never meant to be just a physical exercise.

I know some religious people (religious again as in praying and fasting) Hajis no less, who are some of the most impolite & uncultured (look at most Arabs for instance!!!), untruthful, untrustworthy, selfish, narrow-minded, dishonest and lazy people I have come across in life - always looking for short cuts in life, claiming illegal state benefits etc!!

Ofcourse that does not mean that you stop praying and fasting but I am just making a point based on my own experiences in life.

3. Don't confuse religion with culture.

Decency and modesty of dress we all agree is a religious requirement, burqa though isn't. These things are cultural (one could argue promoted by family background and pressure) and have little to do with religion. I personally can't stand the shuttlecocks!!! When a decent shawl or dupatta can do the same job, why project yourselves in such an extreme manner?

I think people sometimes confuse cuture with religion and duties to God with duties to human beings. Allah clearly states that while he may forgive haqooq Allah he w'd never forgive haqooq al ibaad (your duties to mankind - Truthfulness, politeness, your manners, honesty, hard work, cleanliness, reliability, acquisition of education, having a sense of responsibility, being respectful of all mankind regardless of their religious beliefs etc.) and most of us pay very little attention to haqooq al ibaad in my humble opinion....sad but true

And to finish off:
Hazrat Abdullah bin Abbas

reported that the Prophet

said:

Do not be envious of one another; do not artificially inflate prices against one another; do not hate one another; do not shun one another; and do not undercut one another in business transactions; and be as fellow-brothers and servants of Allah. A Muslim is the brother of a Muslim. He neither oppresses him nor humiliates him nor looks down upon him. Piety is here - and he pointed to his chest three times. It is evil enough for a Muslim to hold his brother Muslim in contempt. All things of a Muslim are inviolable for another Muslim: his blood, his property and his honour.

[Muslim, Imam An-Nawawi's 40 hadith]

psyah · Jul 10th, 2009, 01:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GoldenAsif

This conversation I posted has nothing to do with proving someone a good muslim or not.

I think the important take-home messages here are:

1. Don't judge people purely by their attire

Hijab perse does not make you naek parveen or a nice person. I know some girls in the UK who wear hijab and date men openly / were at their doctor's asking for morning-after-pill one day!!!

Our religion does not forbid us from wearing anything as long as we cover ourselves up decently and that applies to both men and women. It is not what you wear but how you wear it that is important

2. Don't observe your religious duties just for the sake of it

If despite observing your religious duties, you don't become a better human-being as in being honest, truthful and polite etc. then I am not sure what you are praying & fasting for. In theory it should make you a better person but in reality it does not always hold true. Praying & fasting etc. was never meant to be just a physical exercise.

I know some religious people (religious again as in praying and fasting) Hajis no less, who are some of the most impolite & uncultured (look at most Arabs for instance!!!), untruthful, untrustworthy, selfish, narrow-minded, dishonest and lazy people I have come across in life - always looking for short cuts in life, claiming illegal state benefits etc!!

Ofcourse that does not mean that you stop praying and fasting but I am just making a point based on my own experiences in life.

3. Don't confuse religion with culture.

Decency and modesty of dress we all agree is a religious requirement, burqa though isn't. These things are cultural (one could argue promoted by family background and pressure) and have little to do with religion. I personally can't stand the shuttlecocks!!! When a decent shawl or dupatta can do the same job, why project yourselves in such an extreme manner?

I think people sometimes confuse cuture with religion and duties to God with duties to human beings. Allah clearly states that while he may forgive haqooq Allah he w'd never forgive haqooq al ibaad (your duties to mankind - Truthfulness, politeness, your manners, honesty, hard work, cleanliness, reliability, acquisition of education, having a sense of responsibility, being respectful of all mankind regardless of their religious beliefs etc.) and most of us pay very little attention to haqooq al ibaad in my humble opinion....sad but true

And to finish off:
Hazrat Abdullah bin Abbas

reported that the Prophet

said:

Do not be envious of one another; do not artificially inflate prices against one another; do not hate one another; do not shun one another; and do not undercut one another in business transactions; and be as fellow-brothers and servants of Allah. A Muslim is the brother of a Muslim. He neither oppresses him nor humiliates him nor looks down upon him. Piety is here - and he pointed to his chest three times. It is evil enough for a Muslim to hold his brother Muslim in contempt. All things of a Muslim are inviolable for another Muslim: his blood, his property and his honour.

[Muslim, Imam An-Nawawi's 40 hadith]

Peace GoldenAsif

You mention the problem in Haquq al-Ibad I agree.

Imam al-Malik (may Allah be well pleased with him!) said:

“man taSawwafa wa lam yatafaqqah fa-qad tazandaqa
wa man tafaqqaha wa lam yataSawwaf fa-qad tafassaqa
wa man jama'a bayna-humA fa-qad taHaqqaqa.”

[Whoever studies Tasawwuf and does not study Fiqh will be a heretic. Whoever studies Fiqh and does not study Tasawwuf will be corrupted. Whoever combines the two will have the truth.]

Texts by Shaykh Muhammad Afifi al-Akiti

Anyway, there is another important take-home messages here that is very important.

4. Don't assume others are to blame when your own ego is enough of an enemy

The whole dialogue is actually a monologue of someone who is fighting her fitrah with her (nufs) ego and allows her ego to win. It is not a matter of what is known or not known in Islam, it is a matter of how well we can simply "submit" our egos to our benchmarks. To have had this internal conversation with herself makes that girl a Muslim, if she had submitted then she would be a believer, (mo'mina). Or one who conformed to her beliefs.

GoldenAsif · Jul 10th, 2009, 01:05 PM

^ fair point

Ofcourse there are people out there who observe their religious duties diligently and are very nice (and nonjudgemental) folk too but you can probably count such people on finger tips!!!

I guess what I am trying to say is your religious duties and your duties to mankind should go hand in hand. Politeness & kindness are one of the greatest virtues to have... Then come honesty and truthfulness etc.