PyariCgudia

Okay, I heard somewhere that you as a bride or groom may add terms to the nikkah nama.

Like for example, my 2 greatest fears from marriage are

1. My husband takes a 2nd wife, and living in Pakistan, I can't do anything about that.

2. My husband prohibits me from working and having a career.

Am I allowed to adds terms to the nikkah nama saying that my husband agrees that he'll never let these 2 fears come true? Or do I just go on some blind trust on my husband?

ahmadjee

I don't think so. Or I haven't seen any such Nikkah Namas.

These things can and should be delt with before Nikkah.

PyariCgudia

how are they delt with before the nikkah, ahmedjee?

Maniac

I believe you can add any terms in the Prenuptial Agreement that both parties agree to. And if the Wife doesnt want the husband to marry another woman she should put that down in the prenuptial agreement.

More research in this topic is agreement is advised though....

CocoNut

A marriage contract in the court of law as far as I know is a mutual agreement between two parties. Its a life long contract where the duties of husband and wife are to be fulfilled. Think of it as bill being passed for a law and with that law come bylaws which are prenuptial agreements and others.

Add ons usually are dealt with seperately because it is for individual purposes which are indirectly related to the wedded.

Another example is Mahr, that too is a seperate written or oral agreement indirectly connected to the union of the bride and groom.

Usually, every term and agreement according to the needs of the individuals uniting are made seperate such as finance, health etc.

A marriage itself is a contract between two parties. People just don't realize it when they're signing paper after paper and getting witnesses to hear the bride/groom's affirmation to the matrimony.

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Jitna Diya Sarkar Nay Mujko, Itni Meri Auqat Nahi, Yeh Saab Tumhara Karam Hai Aqa, Mujh Mein Aisi Koi Baat Nahin.


It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow.

appkiamaanat

Sister i believe you are refering to the wedding contract, it can be verbal or written down. Anything the parties agree to before the nikkah is also part of the contract. Dear sister you can't make something unlawful, which Allah(swt) has already made lawful. Sister you should really think about what you'd like to put in your wedding contract, you don't know what will happen in the future, and he might HAVE to move to pakistan, that would break the contract, meaning you aren't married anymore. Just be careful About working, why don't you just discuss it with him before nikah, find out his views, insh'Allah.

May Allah(swt) guide us all. Ameen.

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'Rabbee zidnee`ilmaa'
My Lord! Increase me in knowledge.[20:114]

The Prophet (sallallaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) said:
"Whoever sets out on a path to seek knowledge, Allaah will make easy his path to Paradise."
[Saheeh Muslim]

who---me

I am pretty sure theres a field in the nikah nama in Pakistan where you can put terms and conditions.

who---me

Check Item 17:
http://www4.jaring.my/pakistanhc/Com...nikah_nama.htm

enchanted

dunno...never saw such conditions in nikah namas of my siblings

[This message has been edited by enchanted (edited June 19, 2002).]

PyariCgudia

Who me, thanks for that link - it helped a lot.

Aap ki Amanat: I have seen some terrible marriages take place. Which is why I'm hesitant. I plan, inshallah to work in Pakistan, and if I marry, it will probably be in Pakistan, or with a man that is willing to move to Pakistan.

What am I trying to make unlawful that has already been made lawful, aap ki amaanat?

As for working, I have seen countless circumstances where the groom AND his family promised the girl she would be allowed to continue with her career, and then she was forced to leave her career after marriage...that's why, if someone promises me something , I want it written down.

There is a box for any ground upon which a wife can demand a divorce, and I suppose that could be used to solve this situation - you know, that if I've been forced to leave my career when I dont need to then I can ask for a divorce.

ahmadjee

I believe that women have the right divorce if they are 'unhappy' with their husband. Unhappy because he is taking a second wife, unhappy because he won't let her work, unhappy because he smells ... etc.

Those who believe that there should be a 'legitimate' reason (other than the few mentioned above) for a woman to ask for divorce have a man dominated social system in their minds, which in my opinion is un-Islamic.

And so I do not believe their is a need for a 'contract' before marriage.

[This message has been edited by ahmadjee (edited June 19, 2002).]

ammarr

AJ, tell me you're joking?

ahmadjee

ammar,

IMHO, the reason to leave one's spouse because he/she smells would be blatent shallowness in one's character; a very lame excuse and should by all means be discouraged.

But if a person shows up to the doors of Qaza & asks for divorce for a reason as lame as that, still it should be accepted! Maybe asked to reconsider his/her decision but should not be forced to stay in a marriage when he/she are not happy. Sharia is to make life easier for individuals not hard.

I have read a Hadiths where a woman came to AnHazoor (saw) asking for divorce because she claimed she doesn't love her husband anymore ... and he accepted that as a valid reason. I spent more than an hour last night going through the books searching for that but couldn't find it. I will email a few folks and see if I can get that reference.

PyariCgudia

I spent more than an hour last night going through the books searching for that but couldn't find it.

Aww. I'm touched. http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/smile.gif

ammarr

aj,
i beileve then we'll have to disagree on what sharia is. Shariah isn't there to make lives easy for us as individuals, but to enforce organization on a community.

ahmadjee

ammarr,

There is no organization in forcing someone to live with another individual when he/she doesn't want to.

ammarr

if we didn't have to give sound reasoning for our actions(hence assume responsiblity) we'd be animals, nothing more

ahmadjee

ammarr,

I hope and pray that you have a very happy married life!

PyariCgudia

amarr, just curious, are u for forced marriage?

ammarr

forced marriage meaning? parents forcing their kids to marry? No.
oh, and jazakallah aj for your duas ! I wish the same for you.

[This message has been edited by ammarr (edited June 19, 2002).]