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Jun 19th, 2008, 07:23 AM
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#1 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 22, 2008 - 10:47 am
Location: at home
Posts: 1,153
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khuaahishon ki ye titli...
chahaton k phoolon par..
pharpharati rehti hay..,
teri yaad k jugnoo.........
in andheri raaton men,raasty dikhaty hen.
dil ki dharkanen meri..
ik kanwal ki soorat men
muskuraay jaati hen...
aarzoo k taaj mehel,,,
chahton ki nudrat men,hamqadam hi rehty hen.
khushboun ki suoghaten,
chaen-o-sukh k deepak bhi..
huslon ki soorat men,,,
saath saath hen mery...
muskuraati ye kalyaan,
shabnami si baarish men kuch sadaaen deti hen.
chaand ki sajal kirnen,
chaar soo ye bikhry rang
kuch payaam dety hen...
tum agar ju aajaa...,raasty chamak jaaen....!!
(s.naz)
suoz-e-firaaq,yaas-o-alam,iztraab-o-shuoq kis,kis k meny naaz othaay tamaam raat
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Jun 19th, 2008, 05:32 PM
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#2 (permalink)
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~ PakeeZa ~
Join Date: Jul 23, 2002 - 1:00 am
Posts: 4,208
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Hmmm alfaaz ka chunaao behad dilkash hey, lekin nazm ka kya joR hey? kuch explain kareiN takey kuch meri samajh meiN bhi aa sakey :-)
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Hum ney kaantoN ko bhi narmii sey chuhwaa hey aksar
log be-dard heiN PhooloN ko massal detay heiN
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Jun 19th, 2008, 06:02 PM
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#3 (permalink)
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Member
Join Date: Jun 5, 2008 - 1:36 pm
Location: DIL MAIN GHAR DAI DEY
Posts: 177
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hmmmmmmm nice achi nazam hi
keep it up .............
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Jun 19th, 2008, 06:14 PM
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#4 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 7, 2003 - 4:29 pm
Posts: 2,206
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got one word.... outstanding!
Gul-e-tasbeeh, there is a simple tale in this beautiful poem.
Shaa'ir baRee saadgee se yeh kehnaa chaa raha hay ke ird gird kee her shay khushee kaa paighaam de rahee hay aur shaa'ir kaa hausla baRhate hue "us" ke aanay kaa ailaan kar rahee hay. Aise maiN agar wo haqeeqatan aa hee jaaye to kyaa baat hay.
I love the "tashbeehaat" in this poem. Jis andaaz se do-lafzauN ko milaa ker aik nayee tashkeel dee gayee hay, you quickly fall in love reading it. I am refering to the following:
-- khuaahishon ki titli
-- chahaton k phool
-- yaad k jugnoo.........
-- aarzoo k taaj mehel,,,
-- chahton ki nudrat
-- khushboun ki suoghaten,
-- chaen-o-sukh k deepak
-- chaand ki sajal kirnen,
Simply amazing and magical.
You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
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Jun 19th, 2008, 06:21 PM
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#5 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 6, 2007 - 3:41 pm
Posts: 726
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so lyrical  I love the imagery and spirit of it. keep it up 
Let the Sea be my mother, and the Moon my father;
I will swim with the mermaids forever thereafter....
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Jun 20th, 2008, 12:26 AM
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#6 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 13, 2007 - 5:38 am
Location: Karachi
Posts: 8,375
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mesmerizing.. beautiful.. 
Main Pal Do Pal Ka Shayer Hoon Pal Do Pal Meri Kahani Hai..
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Jun 20th, 2008, 03:15 AM
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#7 (permalink)
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~ PakeeZa ~
Join Date: Jul 23, 2002 - 1:00 am
Posts: 4,208
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Asif2000
got one word.... outstanding!
Gul-e-tasbeeh, there is a simple tale in this beautiful poem.
Shaa'ir baRee saadgee se yeh kehnaa chaa raha hay ke ird gird kee her shay khushee kaa paighaam de rahee hay aur shaa'ir kaa hausla baRhate hue "us" ke aanay kaa ailaan kar rahee hay. Aise maiN agar wo haqeeqatan aa hee jaaye to kyaa baat hay.
I love the "tashbeehaat" in this poem. Jis andaaz se do-lafzauN ko milaa ker aik nayee tashkeel dee gayee hay, you quickly fall in love reading it. I am refering to the following:
-- khuaahishon ki titli
-- chahaton k phool
-- yaad k jugnoo.........
-- aarzoo k taaj mehel,,,
-- chahton ki nudrat
-- khushboun ki suoghaten,
-- chaen-o-sukh k deepak
-- chaand ki sajal kirnen,
Simply amazing and magical.
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Acha aesi baat hey tou theek hey, but i am still not satisfied ,
anyway thanks:-)
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Jun 20th, 2008, 02:52 PM
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#8 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 22, 2008 - 10:47 am
Location: at home
Posts: 1,153
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hmmm dustoo...aapka behad shukriya...gul aasif ki vizahat samajh aagai hugi k....
shaira haseen musam men bhi kisi apny ki muntazir hy...jisky aany sy rasty mazid
chamak jaaen.....thanks to all...
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Jun 20th, 2008, 03:29 PM
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#9 (permalink)
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Member
Join Date: Mar 24, 2008 - 2:54 pm
Location: ~!! Seel e dArd !!~
Posts: 408
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khushboun ki suoghaten,
chaen-o-sukh k deepak bhi..
huslon ki soorat men,,,
saath saath hen mery...
muskuraati ye kalyaan,
shabnami si baarish men kuch sadaaen deti hen.
chaand ki sajal kirnen,
chaar soo ye bikhry rang
kuch payaam dety hen...
tum agar ju aajaa...,raasty chamak jaaen....!!
Wah
Umda Sharing
Rawaani Mein Kahien Kahien Kammi hAi
Us Pey Dhyaan Dien tO Theak hO Saktii hAi
Baaqi Nazam Achii hAi
Likhtii Rahiye
Mera Tareeq Ameerii nahieN Faqeerii hAi
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Jul 2nd, 2008, 03:45 AM
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#10 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 22, 2008 - 10:47 am
Location: at home
Posts: 1,153
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thanks....
ratjagy,kurb-o-gham,dukh aansoo
aapki ye karam nawazi hy............
Last edited by S.786; Jul 2nd, 2008 at 05:52 AM.
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Jul 6th, 2008, 04:35 AM
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#11 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 18, 2006 - 4:26 am
Location: Like Angel in the air....!
Posts: 920
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very beautiful S.786 ....very goood poem
The world's a bubble and the life of man Less than a span...!
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Jul 6th, 2008, 04:46 PM
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#12 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 22, 2008 - 10:47 am
Location: at home
Posts: 1,153
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Quote:
Originally Posted by abeeha
very beautiful S.786 ....very goood poem |
v.v thanks abeha...... 
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Jul 7th, 2008, 08:39 AM
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#13 (permalink)
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Member
Join Date: Sep 21, 2007 - 5:45 am
Posts: 363
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V. Touching and real words used
and I can,t say more.............
Obey Allah,s Commands & Follow Holy Prophet (SAW) for success here & hereafter
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Jul 7th, 2008, 03:09 PM
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#14 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 22, 2008 - 10:47 am
Location: at home
Posts: 1,153
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o k immu bhaai...welcome
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Jul 8th, 2008, 02:22 AM
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#15 (permalink)
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Member
Join Date: Sep 21, 2007 - 5:45 am
Posts: 363
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Thanks S...............
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Jul 8th, 2008, 08:02 AM
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#16 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 4, 2007 - 4:24 pm
Posts: 1,467
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ye s.naz kon hey?
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Jul 8th, 2008, 02:38 PM
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#17 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 22, 2008 - 10:47 am
Location: at home
Posts: 1,153
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jee men hi khaak saar hon....muncho ji
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Jul 9th, 2008, 07:03 AM
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#18 (permalink)
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Member
Join Date: Sep 21, 2007 - 5:45 am
Posts: 363
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ye khaksaar kon hey???
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Jul 27th, 2008, 09:25 AM
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#19 (permalink)
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Junior Member
Join Date: Dec 25, 2007 - 11:23 am
Location: Dubai-UAE
Posts: 34
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thanx for sharin
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Jul 28th, 2008, 04:42 PM
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#20 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 22, 2008 - 10:47 am
Location: at home
Posts: 1,153
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thank u raabi....and welcome hear..
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Jul 28th, 2008, 04:46 PM
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#21 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2, 2006 - 2:37 pm
Posts: 1,291
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Very nice sis..
Wo sufaid phool si ik dua meray sath sath rahee sadaa
Ye usi ka faiz hai barhaa mai bikhar bikhar k sanwar gaye
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Jul 29th, 2008, 01:21 AM
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#22 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 22, 2008 - 10:47 am
Location: at home
Posts: 1,153
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thank u eemaan
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Jul 29th, 2008, 03:39 AM
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#23 (permalink)
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Member
Join Date: Oct 15, 2004 - 6:36 am
Location: Karachi
Posts: 105
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S.786
masha Allah bohat achhi nazm hay.. nazm ki ravaani aur naGhmagi qaabil-e-sataaish hay... paRh ker lutf aaya.. daad qabool kijay....
Allah keray zor-e-qalam aur ziada! (aameen)
Mukhlis,
Muhammad Ahmed.
Raat yon dil main teri khoi hui yaad aai
Jesay veeranay main chupke se bahar aajaay
Jesay sehraaon main holay se chalay baad e naseem
Jesay dewanay ko be waja qarar aa jaay
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Jul 29th, 2008, 05:01 AM
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#24 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 22, 2008 - 10:47 am
Location: at home
Posts: 1,153
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zarra nawaazish janaab
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