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Sep 2nd, 2009, 03:15 AM
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#1 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 14, 2009 - 1:13 am
Posts: 557
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Hands are holding ash
Ash of burnt dreams
They are very cruel
How they are mean
Palms are trembling
Lips are dry
Eyes have tearS
Voice is sigh
Hundered years passed
To hold this ash
No phoenix came
It remained the ash...
Live 4 others.....chuchu
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Sep 2nd, 2009, 05:47 AM
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#2 (permalink)
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Junior Member
Join Date: Aug 29, 2009 - 3:41 am
Location: Karachi
Posts: 63
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Mr.Lafanga
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Sep 2nd, 2009, 06:30 AM
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#3 (permalink)
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~*~ Tanha ~*~
Join Date: Apr 10, 2006 - 12:15 am
Location: Tripoli, Libya
Posts: 4,698
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oh its cool ...... aik she'r yaad aagia ...
Khawab Hotay Hain Daikhnay Kay Liye
Magar Inn Main Ja Kar Mat Raha Karo!
Uss kay Dushman Hain Buhat Aadami Acha Hoga
Woh Bhi Meri He Tarah Shahar Mein Tanga Hoga
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Sep 2nd, 2009, 10:12 AM
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#4 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 14, 2009 - 1:13 am
Posts: 557
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thanx mr.romeo & sannan, Sannan boht acha sher hai thank u.
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Sep 4th, 2009, 02:28 AM
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#5 (permalink)
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Junior Member
Join Date: Aug 29, 2009 - 3:41 am
Location: Karachi
Posts: 63
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannan
oh its cool ...... aik she'r yaad aagia ...
Khawab Hotay Hain Daikhnay Kay Liye
Magar Inn Main Ja Kar Mat Raha Karo!
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Sanan Love u yar kia bat hay tumhari
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Sep 10th, 2009, 01:52 AM
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#6 (permalink)
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Member
Join Date: Nov 1, 2006 - 4:52 am
Posts: 345
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Hands are holding ash
Ash of burnt dreams
very touchy a sha'r just popped in ...
Sunna Hay Hath Main Taqdeer Howa Karti Hay
Kal younhi Hath par Ek Naam Likha Dair Talk
Chand Ka Kirdaar Apnaya Hay Hum Nay Doostoon
Dagh Apnay Pass Rakhay, Roshni Banta Kiye
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Sep 10th, 2009, 04:13 AM
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#7 (permalink)
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___ /\dR0It $LuMb3R ____
Join Date: Mar 23, 2000 - 1:00 am
Location: In me Zone!
Posts: 2,416
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Hi Shazia. Another quite a startling attempt. Very good indeed, though i get the impression, the grammatical structure could have been a bit better with this one, well, just my thought.
Cheers. 
Life's a Mystery Yet to resolve, Joy's some where yet to discover
Mind's a universe yet to explore, Love's a sweet pain, for now and forever.
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Sep 10th, 2009, 10:11 AM
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#8 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 14, 2009 - 1:13 am
Posts: 557
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thanx gypsi, v nice sher. thanx.
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Sep 10th, 2009, 10:17 AM
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#9 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 14, 2009 - 1:13 am
Posts: 557
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u might b right bt i wrote this poem in first year, at the time i was nt v gud in grammar bt any how thanx 4 the criticism C.F.
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