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Nov 23rd, 2009, 11:55 PM
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#1 (permalink)
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HOSHIYAAR amriikan ULLOO!
Join Date: Aug 14, 2009
Posts: 6,785
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salaam dosto
yeh merii zindagii kii pahlii Ghazal hai. maiN use uskii aslii soorat meN pesh kar rahaa huN is liye us meN GhalatiyaaN haiN. sirf yeh dikhaanaa maqsood thaa k pahli Ghazal kaisi lagii aapko? aapkii aaraa kaa intizaar rahegaa. shukria 
PS: aapne meN se kia koii bataa saktaa hai k is Ghazal ke kin kin ash'aar meN kia kia GhaltiyaaN haiN?
faqat Khaak_nashiiN
_______Hashmat
1.
be_rukhii tum ne baRhaa lii, kyuN?
aarzuu merii baRhaa dii, kyuN?
2.
mah_jabiiN tere jabiiN par yuuN
khuun kii biNdiyaa sajaa dii, kyuN?
3.
soz-e-dil, soz-e-jigar se phir
aag ghar ko hii lagaa dii, kyuN?
4.
dil talaashe hai sitam_gar ko
sham'a yaadoN kii jalaa dii, kyuN?
5.
har taraf unke khayaaloN se
ik naii duNyaa basaa lii, kyuN?
6.
yaar ko yaad karuuN sahvan
yaad yaadoN kii bulaa lii, kyuN?
7.
tar_ba_tar halqe haiN aaNkhoN ke
jhiil nainoN meN banaa lii, kyuN?
8.
chheR khuubaaN se chalii jaaye
to, na ho ziist niraalii, kyuN?
9.
aaNsuu yeh aab-e-hayaatii haiN
hai yeh saughaat niraalii, kyuN?
10.
dar dam-e-subH-e-shab-e-vaslat
dii azaaN us ne Bilaalii, kyuN?
11.
kujaa aahoN ka asar "Sahbaa"!
qahet-e-zohd-e-rijaalii, kyuN?
uTh, ai shabnam! Hareem-e-laala-o-gul meN charaaGhaaN kar
taRap kar mahr ke partav meN har shai ko daraKhshaan kar!.....a she'r by my Dad!
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Nov 24th, 2009, 12:32 AM
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#2 (permalink)
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Member
Join Date: Nov 9, 2009
Location: Dubai
Posts: 160
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nice work .. great ghazal...
" When you are in light, everything will follow you.
But when you enter dark, even your own shadow will not follow you. That is life."
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Nov 24th, 2009, 04:49 AM
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#3 (permalink)
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Member
Join Date: Sep 19, 2009
Location: Bhopal, India
Posts: 176
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Bahut khoobsurat!
Tu gazal hai to teri shakl se kya karna mujhe
Tujh se ek rishta ruhaani sa hi rakhna hai mujhe
Galtian aap jaanain
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Nov 24th, 2009, 07:13 AM
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#4 (permalink)
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HOSHIYAAR amriikan ULLOO!
Join Date: Aug 14, 2009
Posts: 6,785
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SUASSHAH
nice work .. great ghazal...
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thankoo so muchh dost
Quote:
Originally Posted by rajey
Bahut khoobsurat!
Tu gazal hai to teri shakl se kya karna mujhe
Tujh se ek rishta ruhaani sa hi rakhna hai mujhe
Galtian aap jaanain
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bahooot KHoob janaab 
thankoo for liking the Ghazal 
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Nov 24th, 2009, 08:00 AM
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#5 (permalink)
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 14, 2009
Location: pakistan
Posts: 611
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boht achi hai,i dn't think k koi ghaltian nikaal skta hai. every 1 is new here.
Live 4 others.....chuchu
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Nov 24th, 2009, 08:04 AM
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#6 (permalink)
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HOSHIYAAR amriikan ULLOO!
Join Date: Aug 14, 2009
Posts: 6,785
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shazia Arif
boht achi hai,i dn't think k koi ghaltian nikaal skta hai. every 1 is new here.
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thank you Shazia Ji...vaise, itnaa mushkil kaam nahiiN hai...aap koshish to kijiye...Ghazal kii format kii taraf dhyaan deN, do misro'N ke incompability dekheN aur kuchh alfaaz haiN jo saHeeH nahiiN haiN...ok? 
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