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    1. #1
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      My husband and I are seriously thinking about moving to Pakistan. My boys are 3rd generation out of Pakistan, Pakistani (if that makes sense). We feel we are really losing our identity as to being Pakistani. Islamabad is our choice of destination. But many people (mostly family members) are scaring us that we are putting our family in danger. I am not fluent in urdu and my children dont speak it at all. I guess we want to back to our roots! We have lived all across Europe and North America and never really felt at home. We are a religious and extremely fun loving family, who enjoy alot of adventures. I would really appreciate sound insights and advice, non biased truth of the reality of living in Pakistan.
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    2. #2
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      Why don't you take a family trip out there first. Do you have family in Islamabad?
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    3. #3
      TLK
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      Nothing against Pakistan as I love that country, but I wont move there at all. You wont fit there, people will try to take advantage of you and that fact that you are completely out of touch from the system, you will feel like being in foreign land rather being at home
      prototype and Iyla like this.
      My father believed that if the world found out who I really was they'd reject me out of fear.

    4. #4
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      Unfortunately, we have no relatives in Pakistan. Both sides of our family are all outside : (

    5. #5
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      Is it really that aggressive? What kind of challenges would we face? Will my children be bullied for not being Pakistani enough?
      Last edited by fuzzypeach; Oct 11th, 2012 at 02:04 PM. Reason: Mistake

    6. #6
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      If you have no one to guide you there, then yes it will be a challenge. Take a month off and visit. That is the only way to find out. See how your kids like it. How are you going to support yourself once there?

    7. #7
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      My husband works for a multinational company who have a head office in Islamabad. His job requires a lot of travel and they are looking at possible candidates with international experience. We felt that maybe this could be our chance. Having lived in many places, visiting is not the same as living. Our hearts say yes but our minds say no. But we are a very adaptable family ( a skill set we have picked up).
      We just need to gather info, to help make the right choice.
      Help!
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      Quote Originally Posted by TLK View Post
      Nothing against Pakistan as I love that country, but I wont move there at all. You wont fit there, people will try to take advantage of you and that fact that you are completely out of touch from the system, you will feel like being in foreign land rather being at home
      Quote Originally Posted by Superdesi View Post
      If you have no one to guide you there, then yes it will be a challenge. Take a month off and visit. That is the only way to find out. See how your kids like it. How are you going to support yourself once there?

    8. #8
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      Quote Originally Posted by fuzzypeach View Post
      My husband and I are seriously thinking about moving to Pakistan. My boys are 3rd generation out of Pakistan, Pakistani (if that makes sense). We feel we are really losing our identity as to being Pakistani. Islamabad is our choice of destination. But many people (mostly family members) are scaring us that we are putting our family in danger. I am not fluent in urdu and my children dont speak it at all. I guess we want to back to our roots! We have lived all across Europe and North America and never really felt at home. We are a religious and extremely fun loving family, who enjoy alot of adventures. I would really appreciate sound insights and advice, non biased truth of the reality of living in Pakistan.
      I am 3rd generation as well and totally agree with your sentiment. I do visit Islamabad often and would like to settle there. I know of a few expatriates that have moved there and are happy.

      The problems are that driving there takes some getting used to, also loadshedding can be a problem however it can be minimised.

      Speaking in English is not really a problem as most educated people there speak English. English is the official language of the country. Signs are posted in both English and Urdu. However learning to speak Urdu is useful as you don't want very Tom, Dick or Harriet to know that you are foreigners.

      I think that you should give it a try even if only for a year, as it will be a good experience even if you decide to come back.

      Life generally seems more stress free there and people are at ease generally, however you have to be alert. Dealing with officialdom can be a pain there, so it is useful to make friendship with some senior civil servants.

      It takes a little while to get used to living there due to cultural shock but after that you will feel at home.
      Last edited by arshad5; Oct 11th, 2012 at 06:52 PM.
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      The ineluctable truth emerges: The journey is more important than the destination. The real fun was the struggle.

    9. #9
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      Quote Originally Posted by TLK View Post
      Nothing against Pakistan as I love that country, but I wont move there at all. You wont fit there, people will try to take advantage of you and that fact that you are completely out of touch from the system, you will feel like being in foreign land rather being at home
      I'm afraid I have to agree with TLK. We were considering moving to Pk too a couple of years ago but decided against it and I think that was the right choice. The job offer I had on the table would have been in Lahore though, not in Islamabad.
      The Pakistani Brain of the Austria (formerly known as "The Pakistani Brain of UAE")

    10. #10
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      islamabad is an awesome place to live but dont move for the sake of ur kids - I've seen this happen over n over with family friends who move back for similar reasons and their kids cannot adjust, it's unfair to them . A family friend moved his family back when kids were teenagers, they couldnt even eat salan everyday and the aim of the parents to "marry pakistanis didnt work because they eventually married ppl in the states n & the siblings that did marry pakistani nationals ended up going back to US -]and after few years parents went back to the StateS too.

      Focus on the muslim identity-Travel to muslim countries n keep that alive but visiting our rich architecture & the good things about our culture the warm heartedness & generosity. travel here take a trip to isb ....
      as much as I love pakistan i wouldn't tell u to come here n give up the opportunities of education and the life that they have there.
      Even if u do come back doesnt gaurtentte them identifying with the country.
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    11. #11
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      imo its better if you raise your kids in europe or US..........especially if they are teenagers or 19yrz+
      there are no good jobs in pakistan....n it will be difficult for them to apply overseas....they will have to struggle alot...

    12. #12
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      I personally know a gentleman who used to live in Virginia. Spent 30 years there since childhood. In his late 50's he decided to settle in Islamabad. Brought his whole family including English speaking kids. Within 2 years the situation became so bad that his wife demanded divorce, fought and took children back to U.S. The man being religious stayed in Pakistan with his younger brother (in their parents house in posh area of Islamabad). Now he is also back in U.S.

      There is no harm in settling in Islamabad. It has got everything you can imagine. Have money, no problems...Live in E-7 or F-7 or F-6 sectors... But if I was in your situation, I would settle in tropical Bangkok or Kuala Lumpur. Peaceful. Advance. better facilities even Westerners talk about. Cheap to live. Halal food. Mosques. etc. No energy crisis....4 hours from Islamabad. World class airports and facilities.

    13. #13
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      Thank you everyone for your feedback!!

    14. #14
      TLK
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      Quote Originally Posted by majesty View Post
      I've seen this happen over n over with family friends who move back for similar reasons and their kids cannot adjust, it's unfair to them . .
      This quote should be framed and hanged at every family's wall who is living in west. Just because we want to reattach ourselves to our roots, we detach our kids to their roots. Their root is not in Pakistan, its the country they are born in.
      eastern11, Iyla, majesty and 2 others like this.
      My father believed that if the world found out who I really was they'd reject me out of fear.

    15. #15
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      Going away for a year or two is not going to detach anyone from their roots. It will be a good experience and make the kids stronger and the experience will be something that they will remember and perhaps cherish for a long time. People are moving around all the time.
      The ineluctable truth emerges: The journey is more important than the destination. The real fun was the struggle.

    16. #16
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      my friends moved to pak. they adjusted quite well. they were 13, 10 and 7 at the time. none of them could speak urdu but picked it up very well. they were in private schools and actually enjoyed a special position as every1 wanted to be their friend. their friends spoke in english(private education) so communication wasnt an issue. v never had any problems with bullying at school.

      however i do know other kids in my school who could never settle and are now back in US and canada, . i think it depends on how involved the parents are. you need to guide them and cant leave them to get on with it. they shd settle ok if they are preteens or early teens.

      why dont you go for a holiday , see how you get on.

      the only concern i have with Pak is the security situation which i guess you would be well aware of.

    17. #17
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      That is my main concern, security. I have to say I wasn't born in Pakistan neither were my children ( who were born in different countries) and my parents have spent 55 years out of Pakistan, and have moved around. So am not sure what my roots are or my childrens roots. the only consistent part of our identities is that we are pakistani muslims.
      in my nuclear family we were born in 4 different countries and have lived in 9, so far : )
      Last edited by fuzzypeach; Oct 12th, 2012 at 06:02 PM. Reason: Mistake

    18. #18
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      Quote Originally Posted by fuzzypeach View Post
      Is it really that aggressive? What kind of challenges would we face? Will my children be bullied for not being Pakistani enough?
      Pakistan is a strange place relative to Europe or the United States. in the united states if you go to a store, and give them money, they will give you the things that is on display. not so in Pakistan. here if you go to a store, and give them the money they demand, they will still try to cheat you. and then they will never accept that they have made the mistake.
      The systems in Pakistan and United States are completely different. just like their switchboards. dont expect honesty from anyone, because for most of the time you will never get any.
      I advise you not to come back. I was not born in the united states but moved there for studies. I came back because of family nine years ago. and sadly i still feel out of place.
      please dont come back. you wont enjoy it.
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      the game of snakes and ladders captures the eternal truth that for every ladder there is a snake waiting around the corner. and for every snake there a ladder will compensate.

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