Maha_Shonu

i am having a major disagreement with my mom over gold jewellery... i have never liked gold much.. and i kno that if i get a lot.. it'll all be sitting in the bank.. gathering dust.. i dont mind a little.. but .. I dont kno what to think.. and specially for the wedding set.. How important is it to wear Gold that day.. See the thing is i Do want to wear a Big set that day, but i kno if i get it all in gold i wont be able to Ever wear it again.. not even the necklace forget the tikka and jhoomar and all.. i keep asking mom to get some thing may be designers ( expensive) but not too much ( gold).. i would rather have cash to spend than all that gold.. Am i totaly crazy..? secondly.. i have a few sets that i DONT like even a little bit.. ammi says that its useless to take them to pakistan to get something else coz u dont get ne thing in return for already made sets.. What do i do.. Just keep them.. For the Face value??? .. do i just need to shut up and be thankful? WHAT DO I DO?

dutch_paki

You should think about your parents here They arent doing this just for you, but for themselves aswell. I know it sounds weird and I disgagree myself but it has to with 'izat' and stuff and showing off. Very complicated Just go with the flow. Gold never devalues so you can always sell it to spend the money
Besides that, even if it stays at the bank collecting dust, you never know when you might need it You have to see it as a sort of back-up. (InshaALlah you ll never need it as such)




Why am I giving grown-up replys today?

somegroovychick

calm down :P

get your jewellery to be more jarao, i.e. stones, with a little bit of gold. its a compromise- you get your way, your mom gets her way.

as for your jewellery, you can definitely take it to karachi or dubai- they can melt it and make something else for you, or you can trade it in. i think that happens a lot- my mom's done that to the sets she got that she didn't like or wear and the ones i didn't want.

i think you're right to look at it practically. i'm only getting a few sets from my mom and those are heavy ones that i'll wear occasionally and she's happy with it. the rest of the fam is giving me lighter sets that i'll wear more often on eid, dinner parties, etc.
thats another way of getting the best of both worlds.

hin33

yea let ur mom buy whatever she wants to give u as a pride issue but do buy like immitation nice looking sets for ur use aswell. i have been to wedding recently where ABCD kids dint let their parents follow traditions and tried to do their thing but as the guests always have a mind set on traditions the kids kind of made a fool of themselves.. u can always sell ur gold at a usually higher price...


good luck

Maha_Shonu

lol @ calm down.. Yeah thats one thing i SURELY need to learn to do.. i guess i am just wrong. may be i will get gold and be happy abt it... .. coz all my married/unmarried friends are saying that i should.. Hmm.. i hope that Ganda wala set gets changed..

somegroovychick

lol! you can always change it after yourself too, you know...

dutch_paki

lol Just relax. Girls always get hyper at such occasions.
My brothers fiance is hyper about her mangni Running around from UK to Holland for shopping and what not. And its just en engagement

Ira

Maha, i had similiar disagreements iwth my mom. What we did was for my wedding day, get a huge fake set that looks like gold to me. Like you, i would never wear the jhoomar, teeka etc again so it would have been a waste of money. So what my mom suggested was to get two lighter sets made in gold to be work on eid, parties etc. I can live with that. Woh bhi khush aur main bhi khush. Plus when you are married, you will need "SOME" gold jewellery to wear on weddings, parties etc.

If all else fails and your mom insists on getting a huge gold set, then quietly get it made and then sell it later on. If your mom is lke mine, she would have an issue with lots of gems or beads in the jewellery as well Hence selling later on is always a good option if its not to your liking.

I can soooo relate to all this since i went through the same exact dilemmas

Peshow

get a white gold set then ....with diamonds ..only one set instead of 10 heavy gold sets ...

somegroovychick

well my gulubund and its earrings are real. the teeka and jhoomar are silver washed in gold. i'll probably only wear those two once, so it didn't make sense to get it done in gold. plus no one can tell anyway. so you can always have real necklace and earrings but the teeka, jhoomar and karas can be silver washed in gold. its a compromise, no?

Peshow

^ thats a good idea ..

Mrs Saieen

Just let your mom do what she wants.... no use in arguing and going crazy...
After marriage u can wear all the stuff of your own style you want, but its kinda nice on wedding day to go "traditional"...

Mrs Saieen

Relaly good fake sets aren't cheap either! If you want smoething that wont look OTT gaudy and fake, get something that's gold-plated..that's pricey but it looks good

Maha_Shonu

Oh IRa.. i have fallen in love with u.. hehe.. yeah . my mom not only wants gold.. she wants ALL gold.. " beads ki wajah se value kam ho jaty hai.. " and God knows what.. i did give her this option of a gold plated wedding set.. and smaller sets may be.. That i can live with.. its just that she is sooo scared ke WHAT IF PPL FIND OUT..... SO WHAT!!!!!...


yeah dutch_paki.. i have been told already that this is THEIR function and NOT mine.. coz their family has invited them to their kid's weddings and stuff. now they HAVE To invite like Every one.. ugh. ne ways that was off topic.. ( I KNO I KNO I NEED TO so NA SHUKRY).. waisai i am not hyper when it comes to these things.. for my nikkah.. i had my dress/jewellry bought by my friend in one day.. and sent.. and i was happy with that.. i just dont want Me or ne one else spending all the money on what i Really dont like..specially when i can use some cash:S..

Peshow.. White gold is some thing she will NEver buy.. again. it " doesnt look like gold"... so bat hi khatam ho gai..

waisai.. now that i have let it all out.. it seems easier to shut up and let it be.. hehe.. THANKS friends.. u guys are great.. i will surely try the tips here.. politely.. but if they dont work.. well. TOO bad..... Right?

Mrs Saieen

^ Parents have the "izzat" thing....in our cases, gold is used to display wealth, and the parents think that if ur wearing fake, ppl will think that they cannot afford to give their daughter real sona...Beore my wedding I told my mom to get a gold-plated or artifiicial set..i had to duck before she threw the shoe at me so Yeah its kinda weird thinking, but ya know no poitn in arguing wiht mom...if she's so into the "value" of it (from wat you said) that she wont even get stones or beads on it, then wear it for ru wedding and sell it afterwards...
Personally i dunno how u guys can imagine selling your sets, I have so many memories and sentiment attached to my sets

asimaan

i really think a bride should wear real gold jewelry, not everything needs to be gold but the main set, i dont know the fake ones dont do it for me
for my wedding we got a pretty decent looking set, but it had a lot of beads and stones so it looked nice plus it cost less
the tikka and jhumar were fake, if i had had time i would have gotten the silver w/ gold plating, but the fake one turned out fine too
i agree w/ sara, i could never imagine selling my sets
how about keeping them for your grandkids to wear as costume jewelry, it will be like the rani hars of today

Peshow

but diamonds n white gold ki value yellow gold se zyada hei ..so what it dosent "look "like yellow gold ...I really dont understand desi moms ..i think all of em are same .

chanel1122

hmm u can do that^
please dont go with pure goldy sets make it with some gem stone,antique kind of jewellery...................
and rremember to take ur jewellery back to pakistan cuz u might get good stuff over there in resale.
Calm down on moms matter and try to convice her on this issue.

teelobhain

I always thought you were a grown up like 25+

dutch_paki

Well I am I m close to 47 . but my replys are often not 47ish