NIKHA PROCEDURES

bunnyhoney · May 21st, 2007, 01:31 PM

Hi everyone...

could someone please kindly tell me that the proper procedures are for Nikha? I have been hearing lots of things that i didnt know about... kinda confused!!

Thank you!

fbi786 · May 21st, 2007, 01:32 PM

The Exact ..how exact do u want it ..........I can but i gota go today ........ but if no one else is available to reply i ll try to post it tomorrow ....

or ask Questions which you are unsure about ..

bunnyhoney · May 21st, 2007, 01:48 PM

I heard some people do it in a mosque and some people do it in their house - where should it be done? Also do you have to say a kalima?

fbi786 · May 21st, 2007, 01:52 PM

Its Done In the mosque but the Girl stays at home and her gurdians go to the mosque and read the nikah and when the lad accepts ..the gurdians are sent home to the girl to ask her permission .. to marry .. sign etc on nikah form..

but no kalima by the girl ... Everything is read in the Nikah khutbah..all the boy says is yes or a no .. to the marraige.

ps. People .. if i do make a mistake plz do correct me.. this is as far as i know .. I ll do my best to help.

Khumar · May 21st, 2007, 01:56 PM

it can be done anywhere. usually the guys go to the masjid, and one of the guardians of teh girl gets the permission from the girl to say the yes. then at the masjid there is a khutba, where the molvi usually outlines the rights and responsibilities of the wife and husband. and then he asks the yes from the groom, says out loud what are the conditions and the haq meher, and then the paper signing.

on the other hand, the girl and the guy can be in the same room, same procedure but this time the girl says it herself yes. or they could be in separate rooms (ie if you are in a wedding hall) and the molvi starts with the groom, then goes the the room the girl is in, gets her yes, paper signing, and then a big round of hugs and mubarak bads.

fbi786 · May 21st, 2007, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Khumar

it can be done anywhere. usually the guys go to the masjid, and one of the guardians of teh girl gets the permission from the girl to say the yes. then at the masjid there is a khutba, where the molvi usually outlines the rights and responsibilities of the wife and husband. and then he asks the yes from the groom, says out loud what are the conditions and the haq meher, and then the paper signing.

on the other hand, the girl and the guy can be in the same room, same procedure but this time the girl says it herself yes. or they could be in separate rooms (ie if you are in a wedding hall) and the molvi starts with the groom, then goes the the room the girl is in, gets her yes, paper signing, and then a big round of hugs and mubarak bads.

You forgot the mitaaei part ...

Shikra · May 21st, 2007, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Khumar

it can be done anywhere. there is a khutba, where the molvi usually outlines the rights and responsibilities of the wife and husband. and then he asks the yes from the groom, says out loud what are the conditions and the haq meher, and then the paper signing.

or they could be in separate rooms and the molvi starts with the groom, then goes the the room the girl is in, gets her yes, paper signing, and then a big round of hugs and mubarak bads.

That's how ours was done. On a side note, it sounded like he didn't like the haq mehar amount I set. Not sure what good it would've done for him had I increased it by any amount.

bunnyhoney · May 21st, 2007, 03:38 PM

Did you set the mehr too high or too low? Also... as a bride, can you reject mehr? Meaning that I will not demand it? Or is it something that the bride has to have and is part of the Nikah?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shikra

That's how ours was done. On a side note, it sounded
like he didn't like the haq mehar amount I set. Not sure what good it would've done for him had I increased it by any amount.

bunnyhoney · May 21st, 2007, 03:40 PM

Yes I like the idea of the bride and the groom being in the same room - i wouldnt want it to be done through messengers at the mosque... I wanna be at my wedding!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Khumar

it can be done anywhere. usually the guys go to the masjid, and one of the guardians of teh girl gets the permission from the girl to say the yes. then at the masjid there is a khutba, where the molvi usually outlines the rights and responsibilities of the wife and husband. and then he asks the yes from the groom, says out loud what are the conditions and the haq meher, and then the paper signing.

on the other hand, the girl and the guy can be in the same room, same procedure but this time the girl says it herself yes. or they could be in separate rooms (ie if you are in a wedding hall) and the molvi starts with the groom, then goes the the room the girl is in, gets her yes, paper signing, and then a big round of hugs and mubarak bads.

bunnyhoney · May 21st, 2007, 03:40 PM

Yeah, I wanna eat the LADDOOOOOO

Quote:

Originally Posted by fbi786

You forgot the mitaaei part ...

Khumar · May 21st, 2007, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bunnyhoney

Did you set the mehr too high or too low? Also... as a bride, can you reject mehr? Meaning that I will not demand it? Or is it something that the bride has to have and is part of the Nikah?

haq meher is your right. you have to have it. i mean if you want you can have a low amount and you can opt to have it paid later on, not at the time of nikkah. it's part of the nikkah. there is space on the nikkah nama for it

haq meher is any amount that is feasible to be paid.

starcity · May 21st, 2007, 06:05 PM

Nikkah can also be done at the wedding read out loud infront of all the guest- But in all my wedding guest experience I find that this takes too much time! The last wedding that I went to that did this, the poor guy had all the men in the hall come up to him and hug him and give him mubarak- there was even a line (I swear I do not make this stuff up) and it took him ages to meet and greet everyone- by that time all the guest (meaning esp me) were hungry and ppl's patience had gone

Mrs Saieen · May 21st, 2007, 07:19 PM

I was in a separate room and he was sitting out in the main hall on stage.. first my dad and mom and a few relatives came in and my dad asked my permission (3 times)..he told me wat the haq mehr amount was and if it was alright with me and i said the final "yes" and it was done..then every1 went outside, I gues thats when the lecture started but I dnit listen to the lecture.. I started calling friends

somegroovychick · May 21st, 2007, 08:02 PM

hrm, well for my bff's wedding they went to the mosque but the room was kind of segregated by a low wall. the guys were in the front, the ladies in the back. the maulvi did a brief speech on what marriage is in Islam, then he asked my friend who said yes three times, then he asked her fiance and he said yes, and then there was a short prayer. done and done! then we all went to her place for lunch. it was conducted in english which made it easy to follow along to for everyone there.

when one of my aunts got married, her husband was gora, so my nana did the whole thing at her house. he asked him to repeat the kalma to convert. then he read out the nikah and a speech he had written (which will also be read at my nikah IA), and they were married! after the nikah, they changed (my cousin into a white dress, her hub into his tux) and drove to the church for their church wedding. i liked that both cultures/religions were represented and everyone was happy. at the reception, they both wore traditional pakistani clothes. i would have liked that too but since the Fiance's family don't really care for a church wedding, we're just going to do a civil ceremony. boo! i really wanted to wear a white dress! haha

Mrs Saieen · May 21st, 2007, 08:07 PM

^ Oh my brother's wedding was similar... him and his fiance were in our living room, dad made a lil speech and he made her recite the kalma and then did their nikkah.... the next day was the valima

fbi786 · May 21st, 2007, 08:54 PM

one thing i wana correct which khumar said ...mehr is not important to take ..the girl can reject it ..because mahr is like a right of the girl for the boy to sleep with her .. and if the girl is happy anyway with the boy then the girl can give her mahr up and reject it.

and rest am not gona comment as to somegroovychicks comment cos it ill cause chaos .

bunnyhoney · May 21st, 2007, 09:15 PM

Thats what i was thinking - the reason why I was asking whether its OK to reject it, is because I am happy with the boy anyway. But then at the same time i dont wanna be offensive to his family....

If worse comes to the worst, ill just take the mehr and use it towards our Honeymoon!

Quote:

Originally Posted by fbi786

one thing i wana correct which khumar said ...mehr is not important to take ..the girl can reject it ..because mahr is like a right of the girl for the boy to sleep with her .. and if the girl is happy anyway with the boy then the girl can give her mahr up and reject it.

and rest am not gona comment as to somegroovychicks comment cos it ill cause chaos .

bunnyhoney · May 21st, 2007, 09:15 PM

Oh wow, everyone seems to have different ways of doing the Nikha.... Hmm i like it simple with as few people as possible. Nicer.

somegroovychick · May 21st, 2007, 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fbi786

one thing i wana correct which khumar said ...mehr is not important to take ..the girl can reject it ..because mahr is like a right of the girl for the boy to sleep with her .. and if the girl is happy anyway with the boy then the girl can give her mahr up and reject it.

and rest am not gona comment as to somegroovychicks comment cos it ill cause chaos .

what, what did i say that you didn't like? we've all got different ways of doing things and different opinions on how we do them. its all good.

fbi786 · May 21st, 2007, 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bunnyhoney

Thats what i was thinking - the reason why I was asking whether its OK to reject it, is because I am happy with the boy anyway. But then at the same time i dont wanna be offensive to his family....

If worse comes to the worst, ill just take the mehr and use it towards our Honeymoon!

yes ........you can do this or even after the marraige you can ...waive (give) it to ur husband ...because that money is urs personally ..but if u wana build more affection and relationship with your husband you can give it to him ... yes its a good idea to spend it for ur honeymooon also ...

The Nikah is same is just that ....people have their own style and expenses ...like you said u want it simple and less people as possible then ..thas ur style ... but the walimah should be huge and i mean huge and thas to show the world that these two are now islamically husband and wife ...

Good luck ..and whn is the wedding planned for and wheres our invitation ....