Today my future in laws too me to see the valima site, i dont like it is it ok to

pakifairy · May 28th, 2007, 07:56 PM

tell them this?

chanel1122 · May 29th, 2007, 02:43 AM

u should tell them ...........

aniiisa · May 29th, 2007, 08:07 AM

yea tell them. if u can think of sumwhere a bit better then tell them that 2 cos then u can say..i dnt really like ----------- can i have my valima in -------------- instead.

lublyjubly · May 29th, 2007, 08:15 AM

it won't go down well!!! the valima is seen as the grooms do, so technically and traditionally the bride doesn't really have a say...howevr, modern days modern views, if you have a good relationship with them discuss the issue, if they a relative strangers, why start on what may potentionally become a sour note and taint the festivities?!

if you are going to say something, i would say something like: "the venue you ahve picked is really nice, but i know of another venue, ___________ which i think would be really nice too and i have heard great things about, what do you think?"

bheegiyaad · May 29th, 2007, 09:00 AM

agreed with lublyjubly

Mrs Saieen · May 29th, 2007, 11:23 AM

Damn and I thought you meant they saw you on this website!

Go w/ LJ

zaZZy · May 29th, 2007, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lublyjubly

it won't go down well!!! the valima is seen as the grooms do, so technically and traditionally the bride doesn't really have a say...howevr, modern days modern views, if you have a good relationship with them discuss the issue, if they a relative strangers, why start on what may potentionally become a sour note and taint the festivities?!

if you are going to say something, i would say something like: "the venue you ahve picked is really nice, but i know of another venue, ___________ which i think would be really nice too and i have heard great things about, what do you think?"

i cudnt hve said it better..

Amani06 · May 30th, 2007, 09:36 AM

Yeh LJ well said...i agree!

mahismart · Oct 1st, 2008, 10:47 AM

Well, what did you do in the end, pakifairy? My sister is in a similar situation and can't decide what to do.

NJMasti · Oct 1st, 2008, 11:49 AM

what type of setting is it? and what you don't like about it? can you please tell some more?

Even if it is extremely plain and simple setting, or extremely boring setting such as in their living room area without any decorations (i know no one does that but just as an ex.) - personally I don't think the bride should give her opinion on the valima site...

The bride has a say on her wedding site, mehndi and all pre-wedding stuff... but that's just my opinion. Please tell us why you do not like the place they picked?

(OPS!!!!! - just realized this thread was opened last year... oh well any updates would be good

)

mahismart · Oct 1st, 2008, 11:57 AM

NJMasti, it is a smallish wedding hall that has a flight of stairs leading up to it. Most of our elderly relatives can't climb stairs at all and would keep sitting donstairs on chairs or in their cars. It is not even big enough for the amount of guests they are inviting so it would be jam packed in no time. I agree with you that the bride doesn't have a say in her Valima and bari stuff but she does have a bad feeling about it.

I would like to know what would someone do if caught in a similar situation.

NJMasti · Oct 1st, 2008, 10:19 PM

^ oh ok I understand... all your points are valid and makes sense...

I guess in this case, since your concerns are all about accommodating comfort for your guests - esp. since there is no elevator / escalator, your mom can definitely make suggestions / request to your in-laws since your in-laws probably are not aware of these issue...

Your President · Oct 1st, 2008, 10:32 PM

I'm confused... I always thought you were 'fully' married...?!?!?!

PS: what LJ said.

Skittlez · Oct 1st, 2008, 10:37 PM

^The thread is over a year old.

Your President · Oct 2nd, 2008, 02:15 AM

lol! I feel silly

Shouldn't someone close/delete this thread...?

mahismart · Oct 2nd, 2008, 02:39 AM

The thread is old YP but I posted my question here as the problem was the same and I did not want to start a new one with the same problem. I am fully married as well as pakifairy who started the thread but my sister's wedding is in December and hence the query.

Yes, I do agree with LJ and NJMasti thanks for your comment, too. My mom is going to tackle the issue today with my father backing her as usual. I hope everything turns out well.

ashheavan · Oct 2nd, 2008, 06:49 PM

u should be lucky enough to see the hall! i dnt get to see anything! its all a 'big suprise' for me according to me hubby!

and if i did get to c it and didnt like it der would be no way in hell my mum would tell my in laws that! she be like its der side dey do wot they want, it would jst cause problems and put u in a bad image in front of them!