mizzy_xxx

Hello my sister has just gotten engaged. meaning she has sed the formal yes to the family and we are planning on having a proper engagment party during ramadan.
now i need help as my sister wants a full shabang.
dholki, mendhi traditional stuff. and we are not a very pakistani traditional family and i dont have a clue what to do!!
now can sum1 explain what exactly happens in a dholki, wt does the bride wear [any cultural colours] and what am i supposed to arrange!!
and at these 2 events can anyone help with good songs to play to and dance with. It would be an AMAZING massive help!!!
thank u!!

somegroovychick

a dholki is an informal gathering of family and friends- theres singing and dancing and sometimes also feeding the bride mithai by the aunties. its basically a pre-party to get everyone in the mood, so really, you can do whatever you want to get people happy and excited.
your sister could wear a pretty shalwar kameez with light kaam on it, or even jeans and a kurti if she feels like it as it is informal.
you can rent a "dhol" usually from indian or pakistani stores. find someone to play it. you can search online and on GS for songs you can sing. you could get a bunch of friends together and practice some dances too- not sure whats in these days in that department, but there are threads around here on similar topics. if the dholki is a couple of days before the engagement, you could also have a mehendi lady come around and do everyone's hands, or just the bride's, whatever your preference.
location-wise, you can do it in your own home or in a small hall, depending on the number of guests you have. and of course, you can decorate accordingly with flowers and candles and mirrors and fabric.
aaannnd, thats all i have. haha
also if i'm not mistaken, dholki's are hosted separately, so her fiance wouldn't necessarily be there.
there are pictures here: http://images.google.ca/images?hl=en...-8&sa=N&tab=wi

mizzy_xxx

kol thnx so much!
any more advice by any1 would be fabulous!

helps get me get a better prespective of wt 2do!!

pinklove

a dholki at home is usually with all girls. its a very special event and more informal and laid back than a mehndi where people usually tend to have a more colorful dress code and more rasams. at a dholki all you do is..play the dholki! you can give light goodies and have someone play the dholki for you if you dont know how to play it yourself. Make a list of all the shaadi songs you know and would like to sing. if you're in touch with bollywood at ALL haha you may know nice songs already. also, plane some songs to dance on with your girlfriends and cousins. it doesnt necessarily have to be desi, have some fun girly songs to dance on. i wouldnt suggest kaala music cuz that'll just ruin the entire mood LOL

but ummmm yeah, the dholki is a really light and fun event. i think you should have a dholki for your sister first, tell us how it went and THEN we'll tell you how to have ur sisters mehndi according to how your guests enjoyed the dholki function and if anything could've been differently so we can give more ideas for the mehndi. hope this helps!

subbo

ya.... and if u have no idea of the songs.... then its best to have more then one dholki.... to practice the songs. so u are all great on the mehndi day. lets say u can start a month bak from the actual shaadi date... and have a dholki each weekend. get all ur closest relatives and friends........... girls.... and do practice for the songs.

best of luck!!!!

amnaar

i don't know who you are planning on inviting, just close family and very close friends? if so then all should be fine.
or are you thinking of inviting even pakistani neighbours, and normal paksitani family friends?

but depending on who you invite, i am just gonna mention that some muslim pakistani families, may be a little like "what's this? dholki and dance in ramadan?" ...such families wouldn't say anything if you had the dholki and dance at the party before ramadan, but would be a little sensitive to it if you did have it during ramadan.

now i personally don't agree with this, at least not entirely, only paritally, i think if you don't do something in ramadan, you shouldn't do it during the year either. so i don't understand the reasoning when so many pakistani families stop watching movies, listening to music etc during ramadan, but do it pretty fondly during other months. if you think something is wrong should try to avoid it after ramadan too...but anyways ,, ramadan is a sensitive month, with ppl fasting, and after breaking fast, going for taraveeh, and then preparing for sehri

so if you do have lots of muslim pakistani families as guests in mind, i would suggest try to have the dholki party before ramadan starts...
but you know your guests better, so may be it wont be a problem to have it in ramadan

mizzrani

party during ramzam ?

veer-zara

i was thinkin the same, i mean the engagement ceremony or nikkah is ok at the iftaar time but not dholak.... its all personal choice though.
why not have the dholak before ramdan.? or even after? just a suggestion.

Twinklee

Hi Mizzy_xxx, if you found your way to this forum you have nothing to worry about. The ladies here are very nice and helpful

Just pot away about anything that's unclear to you.

mizzy_xxx

hey thanx for all the help. the wedding is inshallah going to be in dec or january. so i have time to think and plan properly.

The engagemnt is only going 2b family and just as iftar happens which is okay as iftar is around 8ish and my sister wants it low key anyway so i dont really need to worry about tht! lol reagarding bollywood film i have ONLY just started watching some ive been into hollywood and chinese horror my whole life dont have time to watch beautiful people declare their undying love to each other in exotic places!! lol [hrithik roshan so nice... haiiiii]

dolki i hav a rough idea now on what to do. i'l post up a song list later on and got an overall GS approval. lol dolki is going to be around 100 people and mendhi will be most likely 250 people.
i hve heard tht a pakistani bride has sum tumeric applied on her, what is this tradition, dont think my sister wants that on her but out of curiosity is this common???

thanxxxxxx

somegroovychick

its during the mayyoun... turmeric is a natural exfoliant i believe, but gina should be able to answer that better.
these days, the application is mostly symbolic though. same idea as feeding mithai but you also apply turmeric to the bride's hands or face after feeding her mithai.

mizzy_xxx

hehehehehe....
my sister wod hate having stuff put on her face think i shall put some on her seeing as i am organising it!!! and take a nice big picture of my yellow sister!

Twinklee

Yeah it's pretty common but nowadays you don't have to stick to the small traditions. You can mix, match and add however you want. Specially in US I see many weddings that are inspired both from east and west.

The most important thing with a wedding, I think, is that it reflects the bride
and the groom.


Talking about asian horror...did you watch Oldboy by any chance?
It was so good!

Gina~

Mayon is just a rasm, they put oil in the bride's hair, ubtan on her face and body.. arrange for flower jewellery and some even put glitter in her hair.. it's just a wedding shower combined with a beautification ritual =) I just love the colors!