Who pays for what?

Pareezay · Nov 24th, 2008, 01:36 PM

Let me edit this: Guy's side as in GROOM and/or his family & Girl's side as in BRIDE and/or her family.

At the time of wedding, which side pays for what?
Mayun
Mehndi
Shaadi
Valima
Baree
Jahez
Honeymoon (do the groom and bride both pay for this if they both work?)
Any other miscellaneous cost?

chanda_kh · Nov 24th, 2008, 01:48 PM

depends from family to family..
Mayun--girl's side
Nikah--girl's side
Mehndi--if separately done...its girl's and the guy's side respectively.
Shaadi--girls side
Valima--guy's side
Jahez--girl's side
Bari--guy's side
Honeymoon--guys parents...or a generous mamu/chachu LoL..

sumorani · Nov 24th, 2008, 01:50 PM

For me:

Seperate mayun: my family
Combined Mehndi: my family mainly because it was at my dad's hotel
Shaadi: my family
Valima: my husband
Jahez: my family
Bari: my husband
Honeymoon: my husband, and i would say yeh, if both work, then both should pay.

The only thing my husband's dad spent money on was the jewelry from their side.

rabia3983 · Nov 24th, 2008, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chanda_kh

depends from family to family..
Mayun--girl's side
Nikah--girl's side
Mehndi--if separately done...its girl's and the guy's side respectively.
Shaadi--girls side
Valima--guy's side
Jahez--girl's side
Bari--guy's side

Honeymoon--guys parents...or a generous mamu/chachu LoL..

my hubby and I plan to pay for the honeymoon.

pakifairy · Nov 24th, 2008, 01:59 PM

omg how sad that you guys mentioned the guys side pays for the honeymoon. shouldn't the guy himself be paying for something!? my husband paid for our honeymoon and my ring all by himself, and im so proud of that. it makes me love the ring even more.

rabia3983 · Nov 24th, 2008, 02:01 PM

i wouldn't want his parents or uncles paying for my honeymoon...thats just odd.

chanda_kh · Nov 24th, 2008, 02:08 PM

^ why is it odd! its a gift! and it all depends on how YOU plan it out..

Pareezay · Nov 24th, 2008, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pakifairy

omg how sad that you guys mentioned the guys side pays for the honeymoon. shouldn't the guy himself be paying for something!? my husband paid for our honeymoon and my ring all by himself, and im so proud of that. it makes me love the ring even more.

Okay let me rephrase it-- guys's side as in either the guy himself AND/OR his family.
Same thing with girl and/or her family.

Pareezay · Nov 24th, 2008, 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chanda_kh

^ why is it odd! its a gift! and it all depends on how YOU plan it out..

I agree with you, if it's someone you're close to and they want to gift you something like this, that's okay especially if you don't have a budget for honeymoon. Relatives give you other presents and/or money as well, people don't feel odd taking that now, do they? I doubt if there are alot of people who would bear the expenses of a honeymoon though.. especially desis!

Speaking for myself, I feel weird with his parents paying for anything at all.. or anyone for that matter. I am just independent like that and don't like taking money or relying on anyone including my parents as I feel that might be an inconvenience for them even though my parents would never think that way. Now that I work and am able to afford basically anything, why ask someone else? That's why I am trying to budget out who pays for what so I can plan the wedding accordingly. The less our parents have to pay for, the better.

chanda_kh · Nov 24th, 2008, 02:14 PM

shay

..exactly
the guy typically pays for most of the jewelery..the ring and...doodh pilai..joota chupai...mehndi from their side...and the valima...

*if a family member..or the guy's father gives you a trip to _____ as a gift...what would you say.."no thanks its odd"
again..its up to you..and your individual families..

zaaraprincess · Nov 24th, 2008, 02:18 PM

At the time of wedding, which side pays for what?
Mayun- My brother
Mehndi- Me
Shaadi- Me
Valima- My Fiance
Baree- His Parents? Maybe....
Jahez- Me ( Jahez I believe this tradition isn't popular in the states).

Honeymoon- A close friend of mines said they were going to give me cruise tickets as my wedding gift.

We originally planned on taking a cruise, and were both going to pitch in togetger... I'm kinda going to have 2 honeymoons....

chanda_kh · Nov 24th, 2008, 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shay9164

I agree with you, if it's someone you're close to and they want to gift you something like this, that's okay especially if you don't have a budget for honeymoon. Relatives give you other presents and/or money as well, people don't feel odd taking that now, do they? I doubt if there are alot of people who would bear the expenses of a honeymoon though.. especially desis!

i know...unlike goras who finish their business in one day..we have to pay for several days worth of festivities...

MiamisweetheartX · Nov 24th, 2008, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chanda_kh

depends from family to family..
Mayun--girl's side
Nikah--girl's side
Mehndi--if separately done...its girl's and the guy's side respectively.
Shaadi--girls side
Valima--guy's side
Jahez--girl's side
Bari--guy's side
Honeymoon--guys parents...or a generous mamu/chachu LoL..

thts exactly how it is!
u can have one mehendi and divide the cost or just have ur own and each pays for their half.

zaaraprincess · Nov 24th, 2008, 02:22 PM

Our weddings are soo expensive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was suppose to put a down payment on a house instead I'm using that money to pay for my wedding. But I'm thankful that I have money to spend so I really shouldn't complain.....But our desi weddings are extremely crazy.

midnighteyes · Nov 24th, 2008, 02:24 PM

Quote:

omg how sad that you guys mentioned the guys side pays for the honeymoon. shouldn't the guy himself be paying for something!? my husband paid for our honeymoon and my ring all by himself, and im so proud of that. it makes me love the ring even more.

Ya..I agree that the guy should pay for the honeymoon and ring himself. Yes its different if its a gift from his parents (or her parents) and thats totally normal, but it shouldnt be "expected" of them to pay for it, in the sense that you "expect" them to pay for the walima or something else

Pareezay · Nov 24th, 2008, 02:28 PM

^Guy's side doesn't mean just the parents, it means the guy himself too

MiamisweetheartX · Nov 24th, 2008, 02:33 PM

lol...yea but im sure no guy would have tht much money saved up to be able to pay for his entire valima himself. I kno many guys who just save up to buy their wife lyk a car as the wedding gift the ring and the honeymoon.

the cost of a valima and wedding is tremendous. every little thing adds up.
i feel bad for all the parents!!!!

Sara516 · Nov 24th, 2008, 02:36 PM

Is this what's normally done as per our traditions or what the case was/is in our own specific situations? b/c as far as i know, the only ones who pay are the parents/couple themselves. Relatives or even siblings aren't "supposed" to pay for honeymoons or functions (unless they want to of course).