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    1. #1
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      TeenDabbyWala's Avatar
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      Let'e keep this to Pakistani weddings where both sides were Muslim.

      You ever went to a modern one? Such as where bride and groom kiss, dance together, lots of "unmarried" couples, open bar, skimpy outfits, basically anything goes.

      I went to an Indian one, but that doesn't count.

      Not that I am saying all of the above is wrong, I am no one to judge. It's only wrong if you consider it wrong.
      Paisa Koi Cheez Nahi Hai - Jay-Z and JD

    2. #2
      senorita miembro
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      Sara516's Avatar
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      no, and ir eally want to go to a modern wedding, just to see for myself =/
      Last edited by Sara516; Nov 30th, 2008 at 07:05 PM.
      The grass ain't always greener on the other side, it's green where you water it.

    3. #3
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      kurripunjaban's Avatar
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      yep and the funny thing is that the grooms side consider themselves very mazbi.

      At the mehndi they had hired belly dancers, wearing very very skimpy outfits. All the auntie jis were looking at the uncle jis makes sure they wernt watching and all the uncli jis were staring at the floor/roof. Everyone else was just in shock, then the grooms father got up and started to dance with them

      At the wedding there was an open bar as there were many gorays, i'm sure i saw A LOT of muslims gulping down vodkas and cokes too.

      Well over half the girls at the wedding were wearing sleeveless/saris with their stomachs showing/backs showing. one girl was wearing the lowest cut gala ive ever seen on a kameez, she might aswell have not worn anything!

      Anywayyy haha sorry for being judgemental but the icing on the cake was when the groom groped the brides butt while mid snog in the middle of their first dance.

      Defs prefer the more traditional weddings!!

    4. #4
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      I didn't attend one but heard ALOT about this wedding that my husband and inlaws went to a few months ago. It was a lavish wedding and the bride is quite an abcd so she wanted it to be entirely americanized. First, there were those placing name cards that totally messed up the seating arrangement. While the wife was placed at a certain table, the husband was at a totally different one with..... strangers! The last names were mixed up and needless to say, eventually people said what the heck and just sat with their families.
      Then, when Nikkah was being done on stage, as soon as the Imam completed it, the bride and groom kissed And no, it was not a quick peck on lips. The grandparents, parents, siblings and 500 people present and all. The father of the bride was heard to have gotten very upset about it later on. The Imam walked away from the stage during the liplock and later said it was the most 'weird' wedding he had ever been to!

    5. #5
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      ....i have yet to attend SUCH a wedding...please do take pics next time you guys go ok??....atleast then we can see something...

    6. #6
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      Not all weddings are such horror stories. Mine was a modern one. I had it at a lovely location, catered by an American company that made sure to buy halal food so that all guests would be accommodated. They used desi recipes for the main courses, and fusion recipes for the hors d'eorves. The Imam who performed our ceremony is extremely well known in the community and was very gracious about doing a western style ceremony for us. The Imam and I planned it all out, and it went flawlessly and was beautiful. No, hubby and I didn't kiss. We didn't feel it would be appropriate. We also didn't serve alcohol or act stupid. We did have a dj, I chose all the music and put it on cd's for our dj to play so that there'd be no skanky songs. The guests were all seated in the right tables w/ their friends and families, there were no mix-ups, and everyone was able to have a good time and not feel embarrassed in any way.

      I think if the bride and groom want to do a modern wedding, they can do it very nicely if they consider the needs/preferences of their guests, as well as their own, and go with what is appropriate.

    7. #7
      X2
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      re we talkign modern or upstart wannebe clueless variety?
      Your friendly neighbourhood fraudiya loafer luccha lufanga awara ayaash aubaash ghunda badmaash man

    8. #8
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      I went to a couple of them:

      One was where the bride insisted on no children at the wedding and she wore a white gown with a low low back and a huge veil that made her look like a snow beast.

      Another one was where there was huge dance party, all the aunties and uncles were dancing together, they did a toast and served non-alcoholic champagne to the guests but there was an open bar in the back where all the goras were getting it on.

      There was another one where the bride and groom had an outdoor tent wedding. It was actually really nice and pretty until the DJ started playing house music and the newlyweds were bumpng and grinding on the dance floor. No, Im not exxaggerating.

      In my family, we've had fun and traditional ones. We had joota churai, speeches, songs, some choreographed dances, etc. We do have a tradition where the bride recites a naat on the day of the wedding. Its because all of the women in my family are hugely into naat khwanis and such. Im going to have to do one for mine and not very excited about that!!!!
      Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames. ~ Rumi

    9. #9
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      ^ that's nice (the bit about your family). We always have a milaad and quran khani at mayun.

    10. #10
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      first, the question- yes, i've been to a "modern" wedding. they had open bar for their gora guests but i'm sure some desis indulged too (some members of the the bride's family do drink so its not uncommon for them). they also had assigned seating (without regard to how close the people were to the bride/groom, and without placing families together) -- but that's not modern- its just plain rude and inconsiderate. it wasn't a very pleasant wedding and people just didn't enjoy the plain, boring, gora style menu - there is good gora food out there and why not serve it if you want to offer your guests something outside the salan-roti menu?

      i agree with syani. i had a similar wedding- it was at a "gora" venue and the food was bbq'ed gora style too- our caterers bought halal as per our request. we did have place cards and everyone was seated according to a chart that i made up keeping in mind tastes and relationships. we didn't have a stage but sat at a head table instead with our maid of honor/best man and their spouses-- it allowed us to get up and mingle with our guests during the whole evening. our first dance was set to a Sinatra song and was a waltz and a ton of fun to dance. we didn't serve alcohol at our wedding as we didn't think it was necessary since my parents were footing the bill and our family don't drink; our gora friends completely understood and so did his parents so that worked out.

      like X2 pointed out- modern is different from the "clueless upstart trying too hard" crowd.

      for eg: place cards aren't a terrible thing- they help organise things if done properly to ensure everyone's comfort at a wedding where people might not know each other. but if they're done simply to be "different" with no regard to who sits where, etc., then yeah i can imagine people giving up.

      similarly, first dances can be sweet and non-raunchy, and yes, i think even alcohol can be served to your gora guests without giving offense to the desi's present. there are ways around everything and it can all be done very tastefully if you want it that way.
      Last edited by somegroovychick; Nov 30th, 2008 at 10:52 PM.
      Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will.
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    11. #11
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      I just want to clarify that there is a huge difference between a modern wedding, a western wedding, and a disturbing wedding.

      Disturbing wedding would include something like guests, bride/groom and/or their families getting wasted, bride and groom grinding up against each other, etc. IMO weddings are supposed to be great occasions for everyone to enjoy, not make a fool out of themselves and actually remember what they did while respecting everyone there.

      Western weddings would have the brides wearing a low cut dress showing cleavage, alcohol, etc.

      Modern wedding I feel are weddings that are very well coordinated, well arranged, with attention to detail to make the overall experience for everyone a pleasant one.

      So when pakistanis are grinding up against one another at the wedding, I feel there is nothing modern about them and rather are more grotesque.

      At my wedding, there was a huge amount of dancing. I danced with my husband-to-be on the night of the mehndi, everyone encouraged us to dance together while they were all dancing around us. We were not grinding against each other for sure. It was a lot of fun for the two of us and everyone else that was there. There was also alcohol served at the mehndi only because some people that were there do drink but no one really drank any. I personally don't think anything is wrong with such things as long as they are done in without disrespecting others at the event.

    12. #12
      UZ
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      There is a difference between unorganized and americanized weddings.I went to a wedding they had everything pretty organized name tags and everything well I didn't like this thing but they had a open bar for non-muslims but some muslims do drink, and menu was half desi and half barbe qeued which was less spicy for Arabs and Americans.ANd little bit westernized was aunty,uncles.bride,groom ,boys and girls dancing together and I don't know but I don't see much desi kind of weddings here.Like what do you mean even if brides is wearing regular eastern bridal dresses but living in this society modren people do get organized and I like the style people standing in lines for food not cheena jhapti or waiters coming and giving soft drinks.Well usually parties are here like that too.It depends how much you are spending because if you spend good than your party is definately going to be organized.And flower decorations and cakes are very common and yeah some people do hire proffesional dancers.
      "The point is Allah. And everything besides Allah, is besides the point."

    13. #13
      UZ
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      That doesn't mean I am modren you know I am proud desi.
      "The point is Allah. And everything besides Allah, is besides the point."

    14. #14
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      no i haven't been to a modern wedding but in traditional weddings people have hired female dancers to dance in provocative ways and boy did the uncles enjoy it so did my 4yr old cousin who got up to dance with them he was so cute

    15. #15
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      Quote Originally Posted by ume-zafeerah View Post
      There is a difference between unorganized and americanized weddings.I went to a wedding they had everything pretty organized name tags and everything well I didn't like this thing but they had a open bar for non-muslims but some muslims do drink, and menu was half desi and half barbe qeued which was less spicy for Arabs and Americans.ANd little bit westernized was aunty,uncles.bride,groom ,boys and girls dancing together and I don't know but I don't see much desi kind of weddings here.Like what do you mean even if brides is wearing regular eastern bridal dresses but living in this society modren people do get organized and I like the style people standing in lines for food not cheena jhapti or waiters coming and giving soft drinks.Well usually parties are here like that too.It depends how much you are spending because if you spend good than your party is definately going to be organized.And flower decorations and cakes are very common and yeah some people do hire proffesional dancers.
      Just because you spend a lot doesn't mean your wedding will be organized. We have seen many wedding pics on this forum, where you know a lot of money was spent on the wedding but it looks like crap and tasteless.

      I don't think there's anything wrong with having alcohol at your wedding or dancing and having waiters would make everything more organized instead of everyone rushing to the food stalls. Obviously, your preferences are your own but I don't think there's anything wrong doing it differently.

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      place cards aren't a terrible thing- they help organise things if done properly to ensure everyone's comfort at a wedding where people might not know each other.
      Ya I agree. I didnt know place cards were considered to be a "modern" thing, or that they were frowned upon -although I can understand if the seating is totally messed up then people will be upset. But many of the weddings these days that I go to have assigned seating for the guests and in pretty much all cases the couple spends a considerate amount of time to make sure the seating arrangement is properly done and will be to the guests' satisfaction. I think it also forces people to RSVP in a timely fashion, because otherwise they will end up at a boring table in the back!

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      ^^i find it heard to believe that desi uncle and aunties [FONT=Verdana]actually[/FONT] followed the place card's, and i knw it is almost impossible sometimes to get ppl to RSVP--a friends was telling me for her sisters wedding they put an RSVP card with a posted but ppl still didn't confirm.

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      ^ I know, I just find that so rude! Not only is it annoying but it also wastes money for the hosts! People really need to take RSVPing seriously!

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