Why do desi's invite everyone and their mothers to the wedding?

chamakchallo · Jul 5th, 2009, 03:17 PM

I'm having around 130-150 people MAX at my wedding. Whenever I mention this number to someone they all seem to have the same reaction - "wow, that's a really small wedding."

Everyone of my friends have had around 300-500 people at their weddings, which I personally think is crazy, a waste of money and their weddings have not been as nice as they wanted because they pay so much for all those people.

I'd rather have a really beautiful wedding and have only the people I really like and who I know are genuinly happy for me. Why would I pay $125 per head for people who are jealous of us and could care less about our happiness (which includes most of my relatives!)

But lately people have started to say it so much to me that I'm beginning to think...should I have more people at my wedding? Start inviting the "B-list" people, or is it too late for that now? does anyone wanna come to my wedding?

I'm also thinking about inviting more people because the place I'm getting married at is huge and I have it all to myself. So maybe 130 people in there would look like nothing.

ahhhhh, this is the last thing I should be worried about right now but i don't know why I can't stop thinking about this...

Pareezay · Jul 5th, 2009, 03:53 PM

That's what I am doing for my rukhsati because we had around 300 people show up at my Nikkah and it was a mini circus.
Seriously, people brought guests and family members who weren't invited. When I was watching the video later, I just couldn't believe how many people came who I really don't even know. Now with my guest list of 150, I get alot of 'omg what a small wedding' bla bla but I don't care.

Sara516 · Jul 5th, 2009, 08:07 PM

are u guys sure that these are remarks filled with jealousy and mocking, or maybe they are just commenting...and have nothing else to say?

anyways..i think mine was super small, amybe less than 100? idk. I think im the opposite, i wish there'd been more people (more gifts for me haha!

)

Sahar02 · Jul 5th, 2009, 08:22 PM

I don't know the reasons why other people have big weddings, but I can understand the desire. I think there's something nice about having people who have known you in different ways and at different points in your life attend the wedding. It's like all the little memories and pieces of you they carry are part of the blessings as you move on to this next phase in your life.

I know that's totally cheesy. But it makes sense to me.

Of course, even with the 500+ relatives in attendance at my wedding (it was in Karachi; I didn't know most of them, but my parents and inlaws did), there are STILL people who felt neglected or were accidentally left off the invitation list.

nadz123 · Jul 5th, 2009, 08:46 PM

oh god, dont get me started....my mums inviting everyone from this world and the next..patha nahi who they are...its always `agar inko nahi bulaya to log kya kehngay1 etc etc i doubt i know more than 5 people oyt of the 500, who are coming to my wedding

nadz123 · Jul 5th, 2009, 08:46 PM

well i just think ` the more people, the more gifts` so bring em on......:]

Shua · Jul 5th, 2009, 11:23 PM

chamakchallo,,,listen to ur heart....in any case ppl are gonna make stupid comments and remarks,,,they will sit wid u on the stage when the picture are being taken,,,and the next thing they will be doing is making comments from ur jewellry to make up to dress.." hiye door sey tu achi lag rahi haii,,,nazdeek ja ker daikha halki jewelry haiii,,,dress b koi khas naiii...or make up,,Uff Allah churail lag rahi hai",,,and blv me they do it all cuz of jealousy,,,they will eat like they haven't eaten before and later they will make comments on how bad the food was....n blv me there are atleast a few ppl/group who wud do dat...

so my friend listen to ur heart,,,,and invite ppl who ur really close tooo...its ur day and u dont want it to b ruined by others as u may hear any of the stupid comments...it happend to my best friend on her wedding dats y i am warning u sis....good luck,stay happy and enjoy the time wid ur family before ur off to a new life

monster · Jul 5th, 2009, 11:43 PM

that's part and parcel of being a desi!

chamakchallo · Jul 6th, 2009, 01:08 AM

aww thanks for the sweet words Shua

The people saying this to me have been my close friends and family, so I don't think they were saying it mockingly or out of jealousy, they were just surprised about how undesilike it was of me to have anything less than 300 people.

Pareezay · Jul 6th, 2009, 02:43 AM

I would rather go buy myself presents rather than paying 100+ per head for the guest

muneebajadoon · Jul 6th, 2009, 06:35 AM

i thnk less ppl on wedding..n more of da money spent ova me ma dress jewels n decoration etc n tooo many of ma pics ...
who cares 4da ppl?itss after all ma only ma big day

nadz123 · Jul 6th, 2009, 06:38 AM

yeh but in pakistan, it works out cheaper...i would never pay 100+ per head....crazyyyyinesss...

il stick to a pound a head...lol in pak i think the cheapest is like 4pounds a head.....and with good meals....

chamakchallo · Jul 6th, 2009, 01:01 PM

I feel much better about it now

My valima is in pak later on and a lot bigger cuz more family and all of my husbands fam lives there. but my wedding is in US. And knowing how some desi's are, i'll be spending $125 per head on a fam of 4 and getting $50 maybe the max $100 in return haha. So it's def. a loss for me.