CAN SOMEONE CALM ME DOWN B4 I EXPLODEEEEEE

nadz123 · Jul 6th, 2009, 06:47 AM

This is why im so pissed offf all the time and get really angry..

my fiance has just gone and ordered our wedding invites, from their side and our side....now we in the uk..all they had to do was give us a call and ask us what culours we want the invites

however they go and order the culours...so when i rang and said i want these culours he said ok il go ask them at the shop...now he says they cant change it cos its already ordered...however he didnt bother telling us they had already ordered the culours from our side...im so pissed off at the lot of them...they really badly annoying me....they do things on our behalf without asking us first.....mum says it doesnt matter...but it does to me...

i mean we gna pay for all this, so it should be our choices but these ******** are acting like they paying for everything...

f**** sake...im so madddddd right now....i need someone to tell me im over reacting pls..cos im this close to canceling it just cos hes pissing me offf....

thye wont show me my walima lengah they wont show my mendi outfit, everythings a fckin surprise i think il SURPRISE them by cancling the bloody thing....

ashheavan · Jul 6th, 2009, 06:52 AM

woooooooooooooo! chill out hun!! breathe in and out very slowly!!

u do have a point to be pissed off bt jst ask ur hubby that u would like to be involved in your wedding too! explain that its ur big day too and u want things a certain way!

nadz123 · Jul 6th, 2009, 06:55 AM

im fuming....

stoppit · Jul 6th, 2009, 07:09 AM

oh please.

your mam shoulda just given you slap and told you to shut your face.

this is nothing, NOTHING. it seems like you have no idea what so many girls have to go through to get married to the person they love. if you're getting this angry with him over something which is basically insignificant, i can't imagine what will happen after the wedding.

try and focus on the fact that you are entering a MARRIAGE that will last your entire life, rather than the WEDDING which will last one day.

hareem01 · Jul 6th, 2009, 07:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stoppit

oh please.

your mam shoulda just given you slap and told you to shut your face.
.

Ditto.

kurripunjaban · Jul 6th, 2009, 07:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stoppit

try and focus on the fact that you are entering a MARRIAGE that will last your entire life, rather than the WEDDING which will last one day.

My thoughts exactly...

kiran_bride2be · Jul 6th, 2009, 07:23 AM

Aww...i went through a similar situation. I was fuming just like you! But when i saw the invites, they werent that bad! Everybody complimented on them. And i just felt stupid for getting so angry of something small! And husband-2-be thought it was funny.

Dont stress....keep calm. If you dont like them, you can always get the ones you want. Your in-laws probably just want to help x

Sara516 · Jul 6th, 2009, 07:31 AM

Oh the injustice.

i think u should cancel it..i mean they're treating u so badly now, imagine how they will be after the wedding?

nadz123 · Jul 6th, 2009, 07:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stoppit

oh please.

your mam shoulda just given you slap and told you to shut your face.

this is nothing, NOTHING. it seems like you have no idea what so many girls have to go through to get married to the person they love. if you're getting this angry with him over something which is basically insignificant, i can't imagine what will happen after the wedding.

try and focus on the fact that you are entering a MARRIAGE that will last your entire life, rather than the WEDDING which will last one day.

thanks

i needed that...i was on the verge of calling his family and swearing explicity on the phone....he did say to me ur getting angry oversmall things..however everything is small for him...whatever issue i have is small....pratt.

nadz123 · Jul 6th, 2009, 07:42 AM

not sure if i love him at the moment cos hes a mega twit....and im still fuming....regardless of how silly it seems...in times like this, i see this as an arranged marriage...hes my cusin after all...

Sara516 · Jul 6th, 2009, 07:44 AM

man he doesnt take u seriously at all... ure a smart, and capable person, why does he not respect u to understand ur feelings?

ur toog ood fr an arranged marriage with a cusin. seriously, u can do much better.

Sahar02 · Jul 6th, 2009, 07:48 AM

It was a very stupid thing for him to do.

But get used to it. They do stupid things.

nadz123 · Jul 6th, 2009, 07:48 AM

he does. it wasnt arranged. but when im mad at him i pretend it is.

the only thing he hasnt told me is the culour of my mendi outfit...he hinted it to me. but said his mum made him promse he woudny tell me

prototype · Jul 6th, 2009, 08:14 AM

I pity your ILs on allowing their son marrying a girl who wants to call off the wedding just over a pesky piece of paper not being of her choice !! Pata nai kis cheez ki sazaa hai becharoan ko.....

Sahar02 · Jul 6th, 2009, 08:20 AM

Also, nadz, I recommend starting a blog for these kinds of issues, where you really just need to vent. It's not really a topic to be discussed. I hope all works out well for your wedding and marriage.

redvelvet · Jul 6th, 2009, 08:30 AM

Nadz,

I know it's easier said than done, but try to relax. It's very possible that the colors and design that his family have chosen are lovely. The whole layout of the cards might be just as good.......or even better than what you had imagined. Either way.........I doubt that they would send out cards that look horrible. After all his parents will think to themselves that "Our son is getting married and we want things to look good"......and they'll try to their best to do a decent arrangement.

Could you ask your fiance to perhaps scan the greeting card and send it to you via email? Maybe if you see it, you'll feel more relaxed. You might even like the way it turned out. Or ask him to describe it to you. Or have him mail a sample to you. In the grand scheme of things, it's the wedding itself that will matter most.

I remember my cousin's wedding card was not that nice looking........it was different.......kind of creative in the sense that the card came in a box-like structure. It was a-okay.........BUT...........her wedding was very beautiful and well-coordinated and she looked gorgeous.

If you plan to frame your invitation card or arrange it in an album, have your fiance save a card for that. ALSO.................if there are any OTHER steps (besides invitation cards).......that need to be done.........and that will require your input...................you need to communicate with your fiance ahead of time. For example if you plan to include flower and if this requires your input, then get on the phone with him well in advance. Another example is CLOTHES. Do give your input about clothes in advance as well if you need to. Things aren't over yet. Stay in touch with him about the progress. This is just a minor component, inshaAllah everything will come together nicely.

nadz123 · Jul 6th, 2009, 09:45 AM

yeh i know....but the point is regardless of how nice the invite might end up being, is the fact that he didnt bother asking what we wanted....and went ahead....yes it may be lovely..but when the option of choice is removed, one feels controlled.

nadz123 · Jul 6th, 2009, 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by prototype

I pity your ILs on allowing their son marrying a girl who wants to call off the wedding just over a pesky piece of paper not being of her choice !! Pata nai kis cheez ki sazaa hai becharoan ko.....

i wont really call it off, i meant i felt like it.

ArchitectTrader · Jul 6th, 2009, 09:47 AM

LOL hilaroius nadz..... in my family we had a similar thing..... but theyre pakistani.... they dont think like we do (british pakistanis with our independant thinking ) and we dont think like they do..... fun and games will start.... its a small thing , but it annoyed you.... youll get over it.

perhaps just see it a small taste of the challenges to come.... there will be nmany more and more serious than this....

i fondly see you both as a 'mega twits' to coin a phrase....

look forward to the blog on Nadz's wedding prep...

ps .sorry dont mean to laugh at your anger , but i sense it is more frustration than anger... which is easier to deal with....

ArchitectTrader · Jul 6th, 2009, 09:51 AM

pps. put on that fantastic spandau track... Communication, sticjk his photo on the wall and give him a good finger wagging telling off