daisy786

I got engaged a year ago and a few months later, a 'close' married friend of mine started having issues with me. She started acting weird in different ways and we decided to be no longer friends. But even today, I hear from people time to time how she badmouthes me and spreads rumors about me. I am not the sort of person who would care much about such things but recently she did something which hurt me alot. She went around posting my pictures on internet sites and facebook. Let me clarify one thing that I have started hijab and have never shared my engagement pictures anywhere except a private album on facebook which she had access to since we were friends at the time. At first I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt but alot of things happened which confirmed that the person posting my pictures was really her. She even told a mutual friend she hated me and wanted to ridicule me. Normally, I would not be bothered and report the pictures to facebook but what hurt me is that she did not respect my privacy and my hijab, and that she has posted pictures not just of me but also my mother and sister who are very low key people.

How do you deal with people like that? Im very sad and disappointed.. I didn't think anyone could do such a thing

sogul

I know how you feel! I had a friend who took my pictures and used it all over the net claiming that was her pic! she used for chatting with strange guys! She even pretended she was baluchi/pathan (basically taking my identity) on those stupid net forums! I confronted her like crazy! She has to know that you are not some quiet person just sitting there while someone is abusing your personal integrity and izzat!

angelfairy

wow,
its sad to me how low some ppl can get... if she is married, then she should be mature enough to not make such a high school drama move! u really need to confront her. i know its not ur thing to say stuff to ppl but hunny, these r YOUR pics she posted without ur permission. thats bad. on top it, y did she bring ur mom n sis into this? it was between u guy so y did she post their pics? sounds like that girl needs to be taught a lesson. abt disrespecting the fact that u wear the Hiab, hunny, Allah swt will take care of that. She has committed a big gunnah by doing that.

anyways hope things work out. xoxox.

Pareezay

Oh sweety, you're not the only one.
Recently, I had someone do that from gs who I used to be 'friends' with and it was so amusing.

Just be happy she's not your friend anymore, if she was, even worse things would happen than this. Sometimes you have to just sit back and let these kind of people burn in their own skin while they plan these sort of things to do. When people know they can't get to you or bother you, they will stoop as low as possible to express their frustration. Such people get their share of happiness by being spiteful and resorting to such disgusting things because they don't have any dignity to stay away or let go. You should be happy that you're not like that, and unlike her, you're happy and content in your life knowing you haven't been nasty such as posting HER pictures. Keep your dignity and don't bother with such people, they are not worth your time at all. You have to ask yourself, what is she achieving out of this? Answer is: nothing, just some pathetic satisfaction which won't last very long. So let her have her moment if that's what she wants, some people just have way too much time on their hands. Meanwhile report it to facebook, and don't stress over it. And I don't think I even need to tell you but don't ever do the same back for revenge or anything of that sort. You are the bigger person.

bbbb

I think may be you can speak to her, or her family (if your close) to see what the real issue is. Perhaps you can use this issue to reconcile your relations? You can ask her what bothered her so much that she would abuse you in such a way? We all are humans, we all make mistakes. You can reach out to her and see what's going on there.

chanda_kh

daisy!!i can totally relate to you!! you wont believe how many times this has happened to the young ladies here and myself!
first my pics were abused by a family member, and even after several confrontations she denied despite all the proof from the email tracers.

2nd incident, i received private messages from 3 different members concerning my pictures being found in the notorious private FB group ....i had to message the uploader but you cant even message the group owner to have them removed because of her privacy settings. The owner does not accept my membership because apparently she knows who we (gs members)are..

3rd time the same incident was repeated by a different person..and i, yet again received private messages from GS members claiming they saw my pics AGAIN...so as you can see...once your pics are online..they can be in anyone's computer...best thing to do is to have stricter privacy settings on fb...i learned that the hard way..trusting "friends" and all...

last but not least...a "friend on GS" who was also a "friend" on facebook saved pics of my cousin's outfit and had it copied by a noted GS vendor, then asked the vendor not to share the pics..because of the apparent guilt. Some people dont respect ANYONE's privacy!

chanda_kh

hi daisy..i replied to your pm..and here is the link to the discussion..
Samima Sams - Facebook Group - Pakistani Brides

i hope you get to resolve the problems i know it gets frustrating..you dont know who to trust and all..when people within the alleged "trust circle" are the ones harming you the most. Sucks!
groups like "desi fashion", "desi weddings", "pakistani weddings" are to look out for.
When the gs memebers messaged me....the alarming thing was that the uploaded pics in the Facebook group were from my private albums..ie limited profile. and could only be viewed by certain people!
**i asked the gs member to tell me which pics were found in the group..and those pics were indeed the private ones...so it had to be someone with private access.

marvi87

Kill her

sabeen86

^ ditto!

chanda_kh

i dont think the group owner alone is culprit..the group members who upload the private pics and the ones who save pics and redistribute them (without the permission) in the group and elsewhere..are very much to blame!

somegroovychick

^ true, but this brings us back to what we, as mods, are continually reminding everyone- if you don't want your pictures online, make your albums private. don't post them where you know everyone and their mother will be able to view them.
although in this case, it was someone being really hateful, i think the majority of these complaints can be sorted by tighter privacy controls.
daisy, i'm not sure there is anything you can do... she's obviously petty and ridiculous- i say keep your distance, be the bigger person, and wait for karma to get her.

skmch

how sad ! such people should be exposed so that others are warned when adding them to their friend list.

bride2be

wow. seems this problem is becoming more and more common. daisy, just be glad this so-called friend is out of your life.

Gina~

Remove the person from u're friends list, be careful of people that u add.. most definately confront her and make sure to tell her how u feel.

I've had pics saved from people I was 'friends' with.. but she needs a piece of u're mind.

Sara516

meh story of every girls' life.

at least ure not on a billboard.

prototype

^

pakifairy

UGH this happened to me on the "samima sam" facebook group! and the girl REFUSED to take it down i had to beg beg beg her and she said if i keep begging she'd put more up! CRAZIES.

chanda_kh

^AGAIN??

sgc, apparently as i was informed...the 2nd incident involved my profile pics from FB..

@gina, i am so sorry to hear about you too!

@ b2b..what can I say....


daisy..you just have to be a better judge of character from now.....the two faced people use flattery and sweetness to their own convenience to mask the ugliness inside them...playing the innocent victim card as their alibi so...steer clear...if any doubts..look for the common factor in all the ugly situations...its usually the same person.
good luck!

daisy786

thank u so much!!! ur advice is very appreciated!!!! paree thanks for ur email.. ur right.. dont know how ppl get so much time to share pics around.. esp from photographers sites.. angel fairy yes, i wish she had respected my hijab.. she thinks im jealous of her.. what can u do..

Bint E Aadam