two questions from a newbie :)

laadbazaar · Oct 21st, 2009, 11:43 AM

hi all!

this is such a fun forum, and as you can see this is my first post (and only been lurking for a day)

I thought I would add a couple of questions...

1. What is the general opinion of having an ayat from the Quran (in English) on the wedding cards? In theory of course it's a great idea, but I know people may throw cards around and whatnot.. don't want to risk intentional or unintentional disrespect. But since a lot of wedding cards already have the bismillah (usually in arabic), it amounts to the same thing.
So I'd would love to have the ayat, and my mother says, "at least this way people will read something from the Quran for a change" (true). So has anyone done this too? Acceptable or avoidable?
I know a lot of people put duas instead, but I haven't found the perfect one yet.

(If anyone's curious, I wanted - Al Rum, #21)

2. My second question is pretty inane compared to the first one

I know there are some customs/cultures where the dulhe wale bring the bridal clothes... and sometimes the bride is not even involved (this custom should be outlawed).

How many of you have suffered the worst of this? A hideous bridal jora on your big day?

I've been looking at all these GORGEOUS photos up here of brides, bridal wear.. love the whole excitement that goes into finding and picking The One outfit.. about as tough as finding the husband I'd say!

However, my fiancé started shopping for the trousseau just 2 weeks after the engagement was official, found something (apparently) stunning in bridal lehengas, and just bought one. And that's that. Do I get to see it? No, he forgot to take a picture and it's in a locked suitcase in his cousin's house in another city.

He's tried to describe it, and it sounds reasonably normal.. What if it's actually horrendous? I've had nightmares of disgusting red fabric piled on with countless cheap plastic stones in hideous colours... omg. And then getting 2000 photographs taken wearing that... double omg.

I'm sadly sure that this has happened to some women, and I know it's not important at the end of the day.. but it still sucks, doesn't it?

bbbb · Oct 21st, 2009, 11:58 AM

I can help you out with the first q, don't use the Arabic...just use the english translation. You wont have to worry about people mishandling them then.

G'luck!

bbbb · Oct 21st, 2009, 12:05 PM

As for your second question, my fiance is probably going to get my dress as well. I would want to pick out mine out too, but I know how much joy he has in going and picking something out for me. I can't take that away from him, its an outfit you'll wear for one day. It should'nt matter if it makes your significant other so happy. I would say don't stress it, there will be plenty of other things to stress over after marriage. Start off with good mutual feelings for others, don't let a dress come in between. Nothing too big.

prototype · Oct 21st, 2009, 12:16 PM

I would be over joyed and more than happy to wear the ugliest looking bridal/outfit if it is something my fiance(now husband) IF it is what he picked for me. He has hardly ever shopped for me. All I ever get from him is money which is of no value for me. So, if a man of his kind will actually take out time to THINK about getting me something, even the most terrible thing in the world, I would be more than excited to use/wear it. Too desperate of me?

So girl, this might be of the least important trait in a man but it does matter if your man TOTALLY lacks it. You should treasure whatever he got for you. It is actually so sweet of him to get a bridal he liked for you just after the engagement. To him, you'll be the most beautiful woman when you wear it on your big day-that should be of your biggest concern!

laadbazaar · Oct 21st, 2009, 12:17 PM

Thanks bbbb!
I thought the English version should be okay as well, but wanted to make sure.

And about the clothes, I know you're right, by now I've pretty much realised that he's been planning his bride's trousseau wayyyy longer than I have... so I'm happy he got his thrills! So yeah, I'm definitely less freaked out now and just more curious

laadbazaar · Oct 21st, 2009, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by prototype

I would be over joyed and more than happy to wear the ugliest looking bridal/outfit if it is something my fiance(now husband) IF it is what he picked for me. He has hardly ever shopped for me. All I ever get from him is money which is of no value for me. So, if a man of his kind will actually take out time to THINK about getting me something, even the most terrible thing in the world, I would be more than excited to use/wear it. Too desperate of me?

I know what you mean, and don't get me wrong, I'm not at all ungrateful (if that's what came across in my post, it wasn't meant to)
I do appreciate all his efforts.. at that time I was slightly struggling with my first small act of compromise, but now I'm getting the hang of it.

Sohni649 · Oct 21st, 2009, 04:27 PM

q1) i checked out that ayat and MASHALLAH its a really nice idea to put that one on ur cards....

somegroovychick · Oct 21st, 2009, 07:04 PM

its beautiful!
"And among His signs is this - that He created for you mates from among your selves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts. Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.
{Surah Al Rum, 21}"

i had no idea an english translation was acceptable on a card that would eventually be recycled!